Mothers
by Forgotten Conscience
Summary: The Chosen Two attempt to deal with the fall out of She Who Was My Love. They've been torn apart, and neither knows where to go from there.
1. The Girl in Question

**Mothers Chapter 1**

The Girl In Question

 **Buffy's POV**

I sit here, staring down at it.

 _It's so small, and yet so incredibly big, so important, so vital..._

I reach down and pick up the small black box, looking closer at what's inside.

 _It means so much for something so little. I've tried so many times to throw it away, give it away, or even sell it. But every time I try, something stops me. Because of what it means... because of who it's from, Dawn. She's been gone for months, and I still cry some nights. I still see her face as she lay limp on the rocks when I close my eyes. I still feel the fear run through me as I check for a pulse but don't find one. But worst of all I remember feeling absolutely sick as the love of my life called my name. I didn't know why I felt sick at the time, and knowing now makes it even worse._

 _I ran into her arms, despite the limp in my step, and held her close as I felt my tears coming. If I had known then what I was about to learn I never would've sought comfort from her. I never would've let myself cry in front of her, and let her cry with me. I would've asked her what happened, like I did when I finally managed to stop crying. I looked into her eyes and asked. I thought that losing Dawn would be the absolute worst feeling I could ever feel, but when I heard those three words from her while she looked at Dawn, I knew that it was so much worse._

' _I pushed her'_

 _I couldn't believe what she said. I still don't believe it, even though I know it's true. She pushed her off the end of the tower. She pushed our daughter off the tower and killed her. She killed Dawn. Faith murdered our daughter._

I put the little black box down on the bed and bury my face in my knees, not wanting to look at it, or what's inside.

 _I hated her for that. I still hate her for that. If the broken sword hadn't still been in my foot to keep the bleeding down I probably would've killed her right then and there. Instead I told her that if she isn't gone the next time I turn around I'd kill her. And if she wasn't out of town before my foot was healed, then the next time I saw her face, I'd kill her then. I walked back over to Dawn's body, tears clouding my eyes again. I sat down beside her on the pile of rocks, held her hand, caressed her cheek, and told her I was sorry, and then I turned around and Faith was gone._

 _Looking back on that moment, I'm glad she was gone when I turned around. I'm not a killer, not like she is, but I would gladly become one if it meant avenging what happened to Dawn. What she did to Dawn. I'm thankful that she didn't try to reason with me any more than she did, because that would've made me do it._

 _There is no reason for what she's done. There is no explanation that would make what she did to Dawn all right. Faith murdered the only person I wanted to protect more than Faith herself. There is no forgiveness for that. There is no going back from that. No matter how much I might've loved her, I can't forget what Faith has done._

 _I haven't seen her since that day or at least been physically seen by me anyway. She has been around though... I think. I felt her somewhere nearby, at the funeral, I'm pretty sure. I may not have seen her, but she was there. I didn't go after her either. It wasn't the time or the place. I had my mother to think of too. I had to be there for my mother in her time of need... in our time of need. Dawn was her daughter too, not just mine._

I pick up the box and try to throw it across my room, knowing instantly that I can't do it. I open the box and look inside, before closing it and putting it back in the drawer of my nightstand.

 _I would've postponed the funeral for her. I would've postponed it indefinitely until she felt better if I had to, but she wouldn't let me. Mom insisted we have the funeral as soon as arrangements could be made. And that she would be there even if the world ended. But the world didn't end, and she was there, all dressed in black and sitting in the hospital wheelchair._

 _I couldn't help but hold her hand and cry as they closed the casket after the service and lowered her body into her grave. She got a little weak during the service and I took her home right after, trying to convince her that this was the reason we should've postponed it. But she said the important thing is that she was there and we made it through it, now we can do our best to move on. She's my mother, I could never argue with her._

 _I don't know how to move on though. It's been six months since the funeral and I don't think there was a single day that I haven't thought of Dawn. I haven't gone a day without thinking of the sweet innocent soul that's been lost. She died so young. I can't stand knowing I'm never going to see her again. I'm never going to hold her again. I'll never see her eyes light up on Christmas morning when I give her that present she's been bugging me for since June. I'll never see that cute little face smile at me right before she pokes me with her fork at dinner. I'll never have any of those things... because of her._

"You were looking at it again weren't you?"

I look up at my mom standing in my doorway.

"What's that?"

"Just now, you were looking at it."

 _She's not supposed to be out of bed._

I get up and go over to her.

"You're supposed to be resting."

I take her arm and put it over my shoulder, leading her back towards her room.

"I'm fine sweetie."

"You're not fine Mom. The doctors said you weren't completely healed yet. And they said the heart disease you still have from before the broken rib Glory gave you isn't helping."

We pass by Dawn's room and my mom catches me staring at the door.

"I'm all right Buffy really I am. I've been feeling a lot better these past few days."

We make it into her room and I get her to sit down on her bed.

"That's what you said the last time you felt stronger. Then you went and did a whole bunch of stuff around the house and got really tired so you felt really bad the next day. We can't take the chance that it'll happen again. You need to rest."

She looks up at me and smiles, taking my hands in hers.

"I appreciate how much you're doing to help sweetheart."

I fall to my knees till we're kinda at eye level.

"You're my mother, how could I not want what's best for you?"

She smiles again before reaching out and tucking the hair back behind my ears.

"I know that, and I know that Dawn would feel the same way about you."

I look away as I feel tears in my eyes.

"That she still feels that way."

I don't say anything. I just sit at my mother's feet and try not to cry.

"You were looking at it again weren't you?"

I bite my bottom lip to keep back the tears.

"Yes..."

She turns my head back to look at her.

"Buffy, I gave it to you so you could remember her. So you could feel connected to her, and have a symbol of what it was that Dawn wanted most. You shouldn't feel bad about wanting to love her."

"I don't, I just... I miss her."

"Of course you do honey, we all do. Dawn was a very special girl and we love her very much. All of us love her and she loves us, most of all the both of you. That little memento is a testament to how much she loved you both."

"I know..."

There's a long silent pause and I look at my mother's frail hands in mine.

"You still love her don't you?"

I look up and my mother wipes the tear from my cheek.

"Of course I still love her. Dawn wasn't just my sister. She was my daughter... our daughter."

My mom looks into my eyes for a silent moment.

"I wasn't talking about Dawn..."

I don't know what to say for a second as my eyes stay locked on my mother's.

"She killed Dawn..."

I stand up, not wanting to look my mother in the face.

"It doesn't matter whether I love her or not, she killed Dawn."

I turn away and grab my hair.

"She killed her own daughter, and there isn't a thing in this world that could make me forgive her for that."

I turn back to my mother.

"There just isn't..."

"Love isn't always about forgiveness Buffy."

"I don't love Faith, not anymore."

Mom just looks at me with sympathy.

"Look I, I think there's still dishes in the sink. I'm gonna go put them away."

I move to the door.

"If you need anything, you don't have to get up, you can just ring the bell okay?"

"Sure..."

I leave my mother in her room to rest and go downstairs to do the dishes.

 **Faith's POV**

I sit here, staring down at it.

 _I should just do it already. Stop waiting, stop thinking about it and just do it. It's not like it matters. It's not like it'll happen any different than any time before._

I pick up the handset on the cordless phone and turn it on. I turn it off and put it back down on the bed.

 _She's just gonna hang up again, or yell at me again and then hang up. I've tried talking to her, I've tried over and over again but she won't listen. She won't let me explain. Not that I can explain, there's nothing really I can say. I killed Dawn. I killed her to save the world, but I still killed her. There isn't much else I can say. Except that I love Dawn... and Buffy too. Neither of which B wants to hear. Not that I expect her to listen._

 _I expected her to be angry with me. I expected her yell and scream and say things she didn't mean. Dawn was our daughter, if I were in her shoes I probably would've reacted the same way at first. But what I didn't expect is for it to divide us this long. I knew it would tear us apart, I knew it hurt us both deep down in our hearts. But I was hoping that at some point she would let me plead my case, that I could help her to understand why I did it. I was hoping that at some point we could grieve together, that we could take comfort in each other._

 _Dawn was our daughter. When I killed her it was like ripping out my own heart, like my soul was torn in two. I was hoping that sooner or later, Buffy would realize that I didn't do what I did because I wanted to, but because I had to... to save the world. I had no other choice._

I pick up the phone and stare down at the numbers. I put the phone back in the charger beside the bed and lie back, staring at the ceiling to my room in Angel's hotel.

 _I haven't called her in 2 months. I haven't seen her in five. Not since the funeral where I stood on top of a crypt and watched the funeral from a far. I stood and watched the funeral of my daughter. I cried the whole way through. I wanted to go to B when she started crying. I wanted to cry with her and hold her until we both could bare the pain, but I didn't._

My eyes drift to the phone again.

 _There's no reason to call her, I know what the response is gonna be. And besides, Angel called a couple days ago. He calls every couple of weeks mostly, to get and update from Giles. Apparently he's been calling on and off ever since he left Sunnydale after graduation. He's made a habit of calling on a regular basis since I came here._

 _She's all right, at least physically anyway. Emotionally she's falling apart because of her mom. I hope Joyce will be all right. I don't know what B's gonna do if something happens to her. I don't know what I'm gonna do either. Joyce has been like a mother to me ever since I met her. She's offered me nothing but kindness and generosity since that moment and helped me so much in teaching me to be a truly good person like she is. I want to be there for them now, but I know Buffy would never willingly accept my help. Not with what I did._

The door to my room opens after a quick knock. I look up as Cordy makes her way in.

"Hey..."

"What's up Cordy?"

"Nothing, I was just coming to see how you are. You've been up here alone for a couple hours."

I look over at the phone on its holster for a second.

"I was just thinking..."

Cordy looks at the phone too before smiling that sympathetic smile of hers, sitting on the edge of the bed.

 _She's changed a lot since I was here last, no memory and all. But who could blame her with everything she, Angel and the rest of the gang have been through with Darla and Connor and Holtz and all that._

"Thinking about her again were you?"

"Pretty much..."

"Did you call her again?"

I pull my knees up and rest my chin there.

"I don't really see the point, do you? I already know what'll happen if I do."

Cordy moves off the edge and sits a little further into the bed.

"Doesn't make you want to call her any less does it?"

I take a deep breath.

"Nope..."

"So why not call her?"

"Cause getting yelled at for saving the world isn't really something I want to do... again."

"Faith, you know all of us here understand what you did. We know that you did what you did because you had to save the world, not because you wanted to. I had to make a choice between meeting Angel and falling in love, or moving on to a higher purpose with the high and mighties. I chose what was best for the world. You did the same. Sooner or later, Buffy will have to understand that."

"Maybe she will, maybe she won't. But constantly calling her isn't helping the situation. I just gotta let things be."

Cordy doesn't say anything to that. She just sits with me in silence.

"So, how's the memory?"

"It's pretty good Faith. Things are still a little fuzzy, but for the most part I'm all back in my head."

"You remember everything about being a higher being?"

"Almost everything, like I said, some stuff is still a little fuzzy. You know the best part about having no memory though? You learn to appreciate what your memories really mean."

I kinda smile at her.

"Don't I know it..."

"Right, cause of... I think between the two of us we've cornered the market on higher power induced amnesia."

We both smile a bit.

 _She's just trying to cheer me up._

"How's the kid?"

"Connor? He's doing okay, you really gave him an ass kicking but he heals fast."

"It's probably in his genes."

"Yeah, but don't worry... I'm taking good care of him."

"All right..."

I turn my head a bit, looking at the phone.

"If you want to call her so bad, just call her."

"No, as long as Joyce is doing okay there's no reason to."

"Except Buffy..."

"Yeah, look, I don't feel like talking about this."

I get up and Cordy does the same.

"Let's go down and see if Angel has a case for us."

"If that's what you want."

I start walking toward the door, putting my arm around Cordy and leading her out of my room. I take one last look at the phone before leaving.

"It really is."

 **End of Chapter 1**


	2. Worry

**Mothers Chapter 2**

Worry

 **Buffy's POV**

I take a bite of my sandwich, my eyes never leaving my mom as I sit with her on her bed. I watch her take her first bite of her own, waiting for her reaction.

"Is it good?"

She smiles at me.

"It's fine Buffy..."

"Really?"

"Yes Buffy, it's a sandwich."

"Okay, I was just worried. I never could get any of the recipes you taught me right."

"It's baloney with mustard honey, not turkey and stuffing."

"Okay..."

I take another bite.

"You know, you don't have to do absolutely everything around the house. I could help."

I put my sandwich down.

"Mom we talked about this, you're not completely healthy yet. We can't take the chance that something would happen."

She takes a deep breath and smiles.

"I know you're worried about me Buffy, and I appreciate it. But I'm not going to die, I'll be fine."

"We don't know that. Anything could happen to you, and not just health-wise. You could feel weak and knock something over. You could be seriously hurt that way."

"Knocking something over was a risk when I didn't have heart problems sweetie."

"Still, I like it better when you're up here, where almost nothing can hurt you. Except maybe the lamp, you know maybe we should get one of those ceiling lights so there's no danger there."

Mom puts her sandwich down and takes my hand gently.

"Buffy... it's just a lamp. It's not a demon. You don't need to stop it from hurting me."

I grip my mother's hand a little and take a deep breath.

"I know... I'm just so worried about what the doctors are going to say tomorrow, I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about Buffy, and there's nothing to worry about either. I've been taking the medication under your watchful eye just like the doctors asked, and I've been getting stronger every day. There's no reason to believe that they have anything but good news."

"I guess..."

"It's all gonna be okay honey."

"That's what I, thought... before..."

 _Dawn..._

Mom pulls me to her and holds me close.

"Everything will be all right Buffy, I promise."

"I can't lose you too."

I bury my face in my mom's shoulder.

"You're not going to lose me."

"I've lost so much already."

"I know sweetie, I know."

She tenses up suddenly and immediately I let go.

"Mom?"

She grabs her side.

"Mom, are you all right?"

After a second she answers.

"Yes... I'm fine."

 _She doesn't seem fine._

I reach for the phone.

"I'm calling an ambulance."

Mom's hand grabs my wrist to stop me.

"It's all right Buffy. You just, hugged me a little too hard, that's all."

 _It's not all right._

"You need a doctor."

"Then it's a good thing I'm going to a hospital tomorrow for a check up isn't it? They can check me out then."

"Mom..."

"Look, Buffy..."

She takes an extra deep breath to show me she's okay, not that I believe it.

"Everything is fine, it can wait till tomorrow."

I just look at her silently for a minute.

"Okay... but I'm spending the night on the floor again."

"Buffy..."

"No, I'm sleeping here tonight. I'm going to be here if you need anything. And I'll make sure the doctors check anything and everything twice."

Mom gives me that sympathetic smile of hers.

"All right..."

I pick up my sandwich and take a bite. I keep my eyes on my mother as I start to chew.

 _I have to make sure the doctors make her better. She has to get better._

 **Faith's POV**

I walk up the steps to the hotel and go inside, not really listening to the conversation Angel, Gunn and Cordy are having around me.

"I still don't understand what you were doing there Cordy."

"I told you, I had a vision and went to investigate."

"Yeah but that was a bad move going there on your own. You could've called us and let us know what was up."

I wave at Fred and Lorne behind the counter before jumping on the lobby couch and crashing out.

"If I hadn't gone there when I had my vision they would've left and ritually murdered that family and gotten even stronger."

"You could've called us, we were on our way anyway as part of the case."

"Well then maybe you should've waited around here till I had the vision."

My eyes drift toward the phones sitting on the front desk. I'm suddenly very interested in the conversation.

"Look, guys the important thing is that everything worked out."

I stand up and walk over to where Cordy is.

"Cordy is right."

She smiles at me.

"Thank you Faith."

"If she wants to go and get herself killed, I say we don't stop her."

Her smile disappears.

"But she's not dead so everything is fine. Let's not dwell on it okay?"

Angel, Gunn, Fred and Lorne are all quiet for a moment.

"Sure..."

"Okay..."

Cordy's smile returns at Angel and Gunn's acknowledgements.

"Thanks."

I kinda smile back as I go back to the couch and crash again. Cordy goes over to Fred and Lorne at the desk and my eyes slowly drift back to the phones near them.

"So... any clients while we were gone?"

 **End of Chapter 2**


	3. Break

**Mothers Chapter 3**

Break

 **Buffy's POV**

I hold my mother's hand as the doctor examines her.

 _I don't like the way he keeps looking at her. Every time he checks her ribs, his face scrunches up like he doesn't like what he's feeling. He doesn't say anything about it but I just know something is wrong._

"Hmm..."

 _Hmm?_

"There's a hmm? What kind of hmm? Why are you saying hmm?"

My mom and the doctor look at me.

"I was simply thinking Ms. Summers."

"Thinking about what? What's there to think about? Did you find something?"

The doctor moves back from examining my mother.

"No, your mother appears to be just fine. It doesn't look as though any bones have been broken or cracked and there's no indication of physical injury, fatal or otherwise."

I let out a breath of relief.

"Are you sure?"

"Very sure Ms. Summers. You can rest assured that your mother has no physical injuries."

The doctor glances at Mom for a second and she returns it.

 _What's going on?_

"However, we would like to have your mother stay with us for a few days to run some tests."

 _Tests?_

"What kind of tests?"

 _Why is Mom just sitting there listening? Shouldn't she be wondering what kind of tests?_

"There's simply a series of tests we would like to run in order to better understand what progress your mother has made in her recovery."

 _Progress?_

"Well, I mean, it's like we were saying before. She's been feeling a lot stronger lately. Doesn't that mean she's getting better?"

"Yes it does, however her progress has been slightly slower than we predicted with the treatment we've provided and we think these tests will help us find out why."

"Oh..."

I look at my mother.

 _She's not doing so good?_

"It would also give you some time for yourself as well."

 _Myself?_

"I'm sorry?"

"Your mother tells me you have been tending to her 24 hours a day since she got sick."

"Your point being?"

Mom jumps in.

"You've been working non-stop to take care of me, and while I love you for everything you're doing, as your mother I can't let you continue like this."

I look between my mother and the doctor.

"So are you really having tests done, or are you just checking in so I don't have to take care of you?"

"Both..."

"Mom, I don't mind taking care of you, you know that."

"I know, and like I said I appreciate what you do, but I'm going to be here for at least a few days. Take some time for yourself. Do some training with Rupert. Get Xander and Anya to take you somewhere fun. Just please don't spend the whole time here with me."

I look down at my feet and take a deep breath.

"If not for your mother then for yourself..."

 _They aren't going to let this go._

"All right... okay, I'll go do something outside 30 feet of you."

My mom looks to the doctor and they smile at each other.

"Thank you Buffy."

She squeezes my hand weakly and I smile at her.

"You can take my cell phone with you if you need to check in. But please Buffy, try and have some fun."

I take another deep breath.

"I'll try..."

I turn my attention to the doctor.

"What about the tests?"

"I'll have the blood drawn tonight and tests will start first thing tomorrow."

"See Buffy, everything is under control. You can relax."

"Mhmm, looks like... you don't need me anymore."

"I should give you two some time alone."

Mom looks at the doctor as he leaves.

"Thank you doctor."

"You're welcome. Page me if you need anything."

"I will..."

She turns back to me when he's gone.

"I'm not trying to replace you Buffy. And god knows I still need you to help me through this, but you're a young, vibrant woman. You shouldn't spend all your time looking after me."

"I already said I'd go out and do something."

 _I just don't know what I'd do._

 **End of Chapter 3**


	4. Stray Memories

**Mothers Chapter 4**

Stray Memories

 **Buffy's POV**

 _I don't know what to do with myself. I'm sitting here at a table in the Bronze, waiting for Xander to come back from the bar with a pair of drinks and I don't know what to do with myself. He kinda insisted we come here tonight when I called him. I didn't really feel like objecting. It's the only place worth going in this town. We could go to the movies but all they ever play is sappy romance movies._

 _I can't stand those movies anymore. They're all about falling in love and happily ever after and all that. They don't show the ever after part where things take a bad turn and one of them dies or any of that stuff, except in tragic love stories, which they never play. This town has so much tragedy they only want to see happily ever after in their movies. So rather than sit through any of that we came here, which is only slightly better because I can get drunk._

I look over the crowd to see if he's coming back.

 _I don't see him. Not that Xander will let me get drunk. I think he still feels bad for the whole cave-slayer thing. Or maybe my mom told him not to let me. Either way he'd probably stop me if I went and ordered myself 5 or 6 drinks, or a pitcher of beer or something._

I lean back in my seat and watch the band.

 _They're not bad. We've been here a few minutes at least and I haven't heard a single love song. I was worried there'd be nothing but love songs and I'd have to start slaying the band. I like love songs about as much as romantic comedies._

Someone sets a drink down in front of me and I look up to see Xander over me before he sits down with me.

"Thanks."

"No problem Buff, I could buy a whole round for the house if I wanted."

A couple people from surrounding tables look at us.

"But I won't..."

The spectators go back to their own lives, some disappointed. I pick up the drink he got me and stare into the glass a bit.

"So things are still going well, with the construction stuff?"

"Yeah it is. I really think it's what I was meant to do. It just sorta seems to come naturally to me, like slaying does for you."

"That's great Xander, I'm happy for you. And things between you and Anya are still going strong?"

I take a sip of my drink.

"For the most part yeah, we have our rough spots from time to time because of the whole ex-demon thing, but it's not like it is with..."

I look at him as I'm about to take another sip.

"... um, other, people that I know..."

I take an extra big sip before responding.

"Mhmm..."

There's an uncomfortable silence between us, despite the music and dancing all around.

"What about you? How's your mom?"

"She's feeling a lot better, but the doctor says she should be getting better faster then she is. So now I'm even more worried about her then before."

"What does your mom say?"

I kinda laugh at the question.

"She says I should go out and enjoy my life."

He smiles sympathetically at me.

 _I seem to be getting that smile from everyone lately._

"Buffy, you know what I mean."

I down the rest of my alcoholic drink in one gulp as he takes his first sip of whatever he ordered. I let out a deep breath as I set my empty glass down.

"She keeps telling me she's okay and that everything is gonna work out but I just... I can't seem to believe it. I can't stop wondering when the next horrible thing is gonna happen that's gonna make my life even worse than it already is."

"Your life isn't horrible Buffy. I mean, sure, it's not all sunshine and happy puppies in Buffy city right now but you know it can't rain all the time, sooner later it's gotta let up. Things will get better, don't worry."

"That's what my mom keeps saying, only with fewer words."

He smiles at me and I smile back before looking down at the empty glass in front of me. The lead singer speaks to the crowd at the end of their song.

"We're gonna take a little break, back in a few."

"Well you should listen to her then, after all they always say, mother knows best."

I pick up the drink formerly filled with alcohol that hasn't made me drunk yet. The sound system comes to life and a song that feels kinda familiar comes on. The singer starts singing.

 _"I'm standing on the bridge..."_

I grip the glass tight as the memory of where I know this song comes back.

" _I'm waiting in the dark..."_

I can't help looking towards the nearest door and some brunette walks through.

" _I thought that you'd be here, by now..."_

She looks around and is met by some blonde girl who all but jumps into the brunette's arms. The glass in my hand starts to crack.

"Buff...?"

" _There's nothing but the rain..."_

Then the blonde kisses the brunette and the image of Faith smiling pops into my head.

" _No footsteps on the ground..."_

The glass shatters in my hand.

" _I'm listening but there's, no sound..."_

Xander jumps from his seat and comes over to me. The chorus strikes up and I can only think one thing as I see the two girls walk into the club arm in arm.

"Fucking bitch..."

I close my eyes to stop watching them and I'm about to drop my head in my hands when Xander stops me.

"Whoa, hey, you've got glass in your hand girl."

I open my eyes and look at the broken pieces left over from the glass I'd been drinking.

"Oh uh, thanks Xand..."

I drop the big pieces on the table gently and dust my hands off of any smaller shards.

"You okay?"

I look at my hands, no cuts. I show him my hands.

"Yeah, I don't think any fingers are sliced up."

He goes and sits back at his seat.

"It wasn't your hands I was worried about."

 _Everyone is so worried about me._

"I'm fine, okay? I just, I saw something that..."

I don't finish the sentence.

"Made you feel like crushing glass with your bare hands?"

I take a deep breath and look down at the glass on the table.

"It was just, what I saw, reminded me of..."

Again I stop short of finishing.

"Faith..."

I look up at him with a questioning look.

"The words 'fucking bitch' kinda gave it away."

"Oh... well she makes me angry."

He looks down at the glass on the table.

"And I can understand why. I'm just worried that while you're busy being angry at Faith..."

His eyes drift over the table and the broken glass on it.

"You might get hurt."

I sit back from the table and take another deep breath.

"I'm okay, really."

I punch myself in the shoulder with the side of my fist.

"Slayer here, I can take a lot."

We just look at each other for a few seconds before he speaks.

"All right..."

 _I need another drink._

"You know, I'm gonna go see if I can get someone to clean this up for us. Maybe get another drink."

"Good idea, I hear broken glass is bad for the digestion."

I smile at him as I get up and head for the bar. I make my way to the bar just as that god damn song ends.

 _Thank god..._

The next song is some rock song I don't recognize. I lean against the bar a bit and wait for the bartender to come this way. I'm there a few seconds and the brunette walks up to it next to me. She waves for the bartender to come over and he ignores her. She lets out a huff when she's sees he's not coming. We stand there without speaking for a while. Then, out of the blue she holds out her hand to me.

"Hi, I'm Fay."

I look at her hand, then up at her and attempt to smile before staring at the bar table.

"I'm Buffy."

It takes her a few seconds but she pulls her hand back.

"Nice to meet you..."

I don't respond. I look at the bartender across the bar, still busy with two or three customers.

 _God I could really use that drink._

After a few more silent moments, she continues to annoy me.

"So do you come here often?"

"Often enough..."

"I just started coming here with my girl a month or two ago. We actually met here, so we try to come back as often as possible."

Something about the things she's saying makes me clench my fist.

 _Why the hell is the bartender taking so long?_

"That's great..."

"Yeah, she's here with me tonight. We're celebrating our two month anniversary."

I squeeze my fists even tighter to keep from telling her off.

"Congrats..."

"Thank you..."

She actually shuts up and gives me a few moments to myself while we wait.

"What about you?"

I look up at her and fight the urge to push her and tell her to get the hell away from me.

"Are you here with anyone?"

"A friend..."

"So you're not on a date?"

 _I've known this chick for all of five minutes and she wants to know if I'm dating anyone?_

"No, I'm just here for the alcohol."

"Oh... bad break up?"

I look at her and just can't keep from glaring at her.

"Understatement of the year..."

"Well, drinking yourself into a hangover isn't gonna help. Why don't you and your friend join me and B at our table?"

I grip the edge of the bar and I think I'm gonna break a piece off.

 _If the bartender doesn't get here soon he may need to bring an ice pack._

"B?"

"Bonnie, my girl, I like to call her B, it's a thing. So you wanna invite your friend over?"

"Thanks, but no thanks."

 _Okay, the bartender obviously isn't coming. I'm going back to my table._

I move away from the bar and start back, she follows.

"Come on, it'll be fun."

"I said no thanks..."

I squeeze my fists together and turn to tell her off, only to be interrupted by some blonde wrapping her arm around Fay's waist.

"Hey baby, what's going on?"

Fay looks at me and then at her girl.

"Oh nothing B, I was just talking to my new friend Buffy."

They kiss and I feel like throwing up.

"I was trying to convince her to join us with her friend."

"Oh that's nice..."

"She turned me down."

"Why would anyone turn down such a hot chick?"

 _God I hate people in love._

I turn and start going back to my table.

"Hey Buffy, wait..."

A hand grabs my shoulder and I just snap. I spin around, my fist raised, connecting with the girl's face and sending her to the floor, Bonnie all but screams as she rushes to Fay's side.

"OH MY GOD!"

I stop dead, my fist frozen at the end of its swing, Bonnie looks up at me.

 _Oh god, what did I just do?_

"What the hell did you do?"

She starts checking Fay over and that need to throw up comes back.

"Fay? Baby? Baby talk to me..."

I take a step back and put my hand on my forehead.

 _What the hell is wrong with me?_

Xander comes to see what the commotion is.

"Hey Buffy, what's going on?"

Fay starts to move and I let out a sigh of relief in knowing that I didn't kill her.

"I hit her..."

He looks at me a little shocked and then moves close, whispering.

"Vampire?"

I just shake my head, never taking my eyes off Fay on the floor as she starts to wake up.

"Then why?"

Fay sits up and Xander looks at the young brunette girl, and it dawns on him.

"Oh..."

Fay looks up at me, disoriented, and all I can think to say is...

"I'm sorry..."

She just looks away from me. Bonnie speaks for her.

"She was just trying to be friendly. You didn't have to punch her lights out."

I run my fingers through my hair, trying not to panic.

"I know I'm... I'm sorry I just, she reminds me of, someone I don't like very much and..."

"And that gives you the right to just punch me in the face?"

 _God, how could I do that?_

Xander jumps in before I can say anything.

"No, it doesn't and like she said, she's really sorry about the punching. It won't happen again because we're actually gonna call it a night."

He puts his arm around my shoulders and kinda turns around to leave. I turn too but as we leave I turn back one last time.

"I'm really sorry."

And then we turn and leave.

 _What the hell is wrong with me?_

 **End of Chapter 4**


	5. Crossroaded

**Mothers Chapter 5**

Crossroaded

 **Author's Note:** Sorry about the lateness. I was hoping I'd get it done before this. But now it's here so... yay?

* * *

 **Buffy's POV**

Xander pulls up to my house and into the driveway, turning the engine off as he comes to a stop.

"Are you sure you don't want to rent a movie? I don't mind picking one up."

I take a long breath and then smile at him.

"No, thank you for the offer Xand, but after what happened at The Bronze I think it's best if I just spend some time alone, maybe take a bath."

"Okay, but I'm probably gonna rent a few for Anya and I anyway. So if you change your mind..."

"Thanks, but we've seen what happens when I get around happy couples. Maybe some other time though."

"All right..."

I take another deep breath.

"Thank you for a nice evening."

I open the door and start to get out.

"Hey..."

I stop and look at him, one foot out the door.

"Things will get better Buff."

I just smile and nod before getting out, closing the car door behind me. I wave at him, backing away as he starts his car. I turn around and start walking to my house as his car pulls away and heads down the street. I look up at my house... my big, empty house. I walk up onto the porch and put my keys in the door, going inside. I close the door and just stand there, looking around.

 _This house used to be so full of life._

I look towards the living room, my eyes drift towards the couch and memories of making out with Faith on it pop into my head. I clench my fist and look up the stairs, starting up them.

 _Now it's a house of ghosts._

I trip on one of the top steps and fall onto the second floor. I stare down at the carpeted floor and the memory of the last time I was in this position comes back to me. I shift on the floor as the image of Faith under me makes my stomach turn. I get up quickly and walk away from the memory as fast as possible. I stop in the middle of the hallway and absently stare down it. I take a long deep breath and make my way to the bathroom. I look to the half open door to Dawn's room, avoiding my own and all I can see is Dawn's smiling face in my head. I feel like I wanna cry as I walk into the bathroom and try to block out everything but this room.

I go over to the tub and plug up the drain before turning on the cold and hot water till it's just right. I step back and watch the tub start to fill for a few seconds.

 _God I need a bath._

I grab the bottom of my shirt and pull it up over my head. I set my shirt down on the sink table and reach behind me to unhook my bra. I take my pants and panties off and set them down with the rest of my clothes. I sit on the edge of the tub and wait for the water to fill up a few more inches. I put my hand in the water and close my eyes to test it. Only seconds later I see Dawn's smiling face again. But this time she laughs and I know I want to cry. I turn off the water and put my hair up before getting in.

I let the water calm me as I lie down in the tub.

 _Oh, this feels so good. I shouldn't feel so good, not after everything that's happened. I don't deserve to feel this good, not with my mother in the hospital and my life so destroyed. I shouldn't feel this good._

I close my eyes to keep the tears back. I can't hold them back though as the memory of Dawn grabbing me and hugging me makes one tear escape. The warm water almost makes me feel like Dawn is actually here and I'm holding her, standing in her room... but she's not, and I'll never get to see or hold her ever again.

 _I'll never get to hold my daughter again, all because of her._

And then I can see HER face in my head as if she's lying on top of me. The look on her face is one of pure love and I swear I can hear her voice.

' _I love you...'_

I sit up and I can't hold them back, hugging my knees as I let the tears come.

"I'm sorry Dawnie..."

 **Faith's POV**

 _Is she okay? God I hope she's all right._

I go back to pacing back and forth across the lobby of the Hyperion, waiting for some sort of news about Joyce.

 _Yesterday Giles called and said that Joyce had checked herself into the hospital for some tests, but he didn't know what kind of tests or why she had to be in the hospital to have them done. Ever since then all I can think is that something really bad must be going on. Joyce must have taken a turn for the worse or something and it's eating me up inside that I'm not there for her, and for Buffy._

So I just keep pacing back and forth in the hotel lobby, waiting for some sort of news about the people I love. The phone rings and I grab it, putting it to my ear.

"Hello? Giles?"

 _"Oh, um, this isn't Angel Investigations?"_

"Uh, yeah, sorry, just one second..."

I hand the phone to Cordy and she sorta half glares at me for picking it up for the 7th time in a row while she was standing right next to the phone. I'm about to go back to pacing when Lorne interjects.

"Slayer-cakes, you gotta calm down. You're giving off a lot of nervous energy and it's making me twitchy. And since you slayers have a lot of energy, I could be twitching myself into a coma."

I turn to Lorne.

"Sorry, I'm just..."

"Worried, I know. It's coming off you in huge waves. Maybe if you hummed a little tune I might be able to settle some of those nerves for you."

I take a second to try and calm down. I start to hum without really thinking of a tune. I watch his face as he reads me and I'm not really sure what to think. First he looks really concerned, and then he sorta smiles, followed by concern again.

"Okay, okay, stop."

I stop humming.

"So, what's my future hold Green Jeans?"

He takes a sip of the sea-breeze he poured a little while ago and a deep breath.

"You know, I really hate being all vague and mysterious when a person's path comes in so clearly like yours, but I'm going to have to."

"What does that mean?"

"This rocky road you're on? It won't get any smoother for a while, in fact it'll get a little rockier before too long. But you'll get through it."

He smiles and pats me on the arm and then turns and goes back toward the desk.

 _What?_

"What about Joyce?"

He doesn't turn around as he speaks.

"Oh you'll be hearing from her soon..."

 **End of Chapter 5**


	6. Fear

**Mothers Chapter 6**

Fear

 **Buffy's POV**

 _This is bad. This is so very, very bad. Why isn't the doctor here yet? I've been trying like hell to do like my mom asked for the past few days. Avoiding people like the plague after that first night at The Bronze. And then I get a call from the doctor last night, asking me to come in this morning for the results of my mom's tests._

"He should be here by now."

"I'm sure the doctor is just running a little late honey. He must have many different patients to take care of."

I look down at my watch and then at Mom.

"He said 9 though, it's 9:15. When doctors are late they usually have bad news."

"Buffy, you have to calm down. Doctor Gray will be here when he can, and for all we know he'll be telling us how we can improve my treatment."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous."

She just smiles sympathetically at me. Just then the doctor knocks on the door on his way in.

"Good morning ladies, how are you both?"

 _He's being too nice, we're getting bad news I just know it._

I watch him as he goes around my mom's hospital bed so he can speak to both of us.

"I'm feeling pretty good this morning doctor thank you."

"That's definitely good to hear. And you Buffy?"

I look away from them both.

"I'm okay... I guess..."

They don't say anything for a few moments.

"I'm glad. Did you have a nice couple of days while your mother was here with us?"

My eyes meet Doctor Gray's.

"You mean did I enjoy myself while my mom was sick in the hospital?"

"Yes, well, I have news as you're already aware..."

"Good or bad?"

"Buffy let the man speak."

"It's all right. We may have isolated the problem."

 _They did?_

I look at my mom and feel myself smile with hope before turning to him.

"What is it?"

"We believe it may be related to the injury you sustained some months ago."

 _Injury? Oh..._

"You mean when my mom broke her rib?"

"Yes, when it punctured her left ventricle artery it caused internal bleeding. Thankfully you happened to be in the hospital at the time and we were able to repair it before things got too severe."

"But if you repaired the damage then how does it affect my current condition?"

"We don't believe the wound has healed properly. Due in large part to your pre-existing heart condition. Coronary artery disease reduces the distribution of oxygen and nutrients into the blood stream, which a wound requires in order to heal properly."

 _Oh god..._

"So what does that mean? Is she? Is my mother, gonna...?"

 _I can't even say it._

I just let my head drop into my hands.

"No, we will do everything in our power to help her. There are a number of different treatments we can try, and there's always surgery as a last resort."

 _Last resort?_

Mom asks the question I was about to ask.

"Why is it a last resort?"

"Given your weakened condition I'm hesitant to attempt surgery but it is an option if the others don't work."

 _Oh..._

"What kind of treatment?"

"Mostly variations on the current drugs you've been taking, designed to increase the blood flow and the nutrients in it. I'm hoping that through the right combination we can help you heal a little better."

 _But..._

"What if it doesn't work?"

There's an eerie silence in the room and I know what the answer to my question is.

"I see..."

"But there's no reason to believe it won't work, is there doctor?"

"Quite right Joyce, you've been responding well to the medicine so far. It may simply be a matter of increasing the dosage."

"But it might not."

My mom and Doctor Gray look at me.

"Buffy, sweetheart..."

 _My mom, is gonna... God I can't deal with this._

"I, I need... something..."

I get up and move away from my mom as she tries to reach out to me.

"Something, to eat or um... something to drink, I think... maybe..."

"Well I could have one of the attendants bring you something if you like."

"No I'll, I'll get it myself... but thanks... I'll be back in a m-minute Mom."

"Okay..."

I turn and start out to the door. I don't hear my mom as I leave.

"I need to make a call."

 **Faith's POV**

 _I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'm not sure how to feel about what Lorne said the other day. On the one hand he said bad things were coming without actually saying so, and on the other he said I'd be able to deal with the badness and get through it. I don't know whether to worry about what the badness might be or just accept that no matter what it is I'll be okay._

I readjust my position on the couch in the lobby.

 _I think what bothers me the most is that he didn't say anything about the people I care about. He didn't say anything about Xander or Anya or Giles, or worst of all Buffy. All he said was that I'd be hearing from Joyce soon, and I'm not even sure what he meant by that. Hear from her how? Why? She must hate me worse than Buffy does. Dawn was her daughter a lot longer than she was ours. And worse than that this is the second time she's had to go through losing a daughter. I might feel horrible that Dawn is dead, but what Joyce feels must feel like 100 times more than what I do._

I sit up on the couch and stare at the floor.

 _I don't see why Joyce would ever call me for anything._

Cordy picks up the phone as I'm about to lie back down.

"Faith?"

I look to Cordy and she holds the phone receiver out to me.

"It's for you..."

 _For me?_

"It's Joyce."

 _Joyce?_

Angel and I look at each other.

"You can take it in my office."

 _What the hell am I gonna say?_

I get up and head towards Angel's office.

"Thanks..."

"She's on line 3."

I smile at Cordy.

"Thanks Cor..."

I go into Angel's office and I suddenly have no idea what to do.

 _I know I have to answer the phone but I have no idea what's gonna happen when I do. Why would she need to talk to me? Is she all right? Is Buffy all right? Joyce means so much to me. She's the only one who's ever acted like a mother to me, and I killed her youngest daughter. I haven't spoken to her since it happened and I have no idea how she's gonna react when we speak. I guess there's only one way to find out._

I pick up the phone and press the button to use line three. I put the receiver to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hello Faith..."

 _Well this is going well._

"Um, hi..."

There's a little pause of silence.

"How are you?"

 _How am I? She's asking how I am?_

"Uh, okay, I guess... are you okay?"

She takes a deep breath.

"I'm okay, considering the circumstances. But then the circumstances aren't that great so I guess I'm not doing that good."

"Oh..."

I really don't know what to say to that.

"So, you called?"

"Yes, I did. I need to ask you something. But it's not something I want to do over the phone. I need to speak to you face to face for this."

 _Oh..._

"Why?"

 **End of Chapter 6**


	7. Bad Expectations

**Mothers Chapter 7**

Bad Expectations

 **Faith's POV**

 _What am I gonna do? I know what I have to do. I have to go back to Sunnydale to see the only woman who's ever been anything close to a mother to me. The only real problem is Buffy. There's no telling how Buffy will react to seeing me again. With everything that's happened in the last little while, with Dawn, and now Joyce... she must be on overload. I just hope she'll hold together long enough for me to talk with Joyce._

I look down at the bag I packed by the bed.

 _If she can't then I'll just have to kick the crap out of her until she won't be able to stop me. Joyce might die if the treatment doesn't work and if her last wish is to see me then she'll get it. It doesn't matter if all she wants to do is yell at me for killing her daughter. It's her dying wish and I owe her enough to give it to her. I hope that's not her last wish. I hope the treatment works and she lives a long time. But I can't help thinking that Joyce wouldn't have asked to see me if there wasn't a real possibility that it might not. I hope she can make it through this._

There's a knock at my door.

"Yeah?"

He opens the door and comes in.

"Hey..."

"Hey Angel..."

"You all packed?"

I look down at my bag again and then back at Angel.

"Yeah I think so, it's not like I have a lot of stuff worth taking with me."

He stops a few feet from the bed I'm sitting on and folds his arms across his chest.

"Well you know you could always think about changing that."

I kinda smile at him.

"I really didn't have all that much time to pack. It was more just get out as quick as possible."

"Well now you might have a chance to go back and get some of what you left behind."

"Maybe, maybe not..."

He gets that look on his face that I never know how to describe. It's not a smile, and not a frown, the only thing close would be thoughtful. Except it never seems like he's thinking when he looks at me that way. He comes over and picks up my bag for me, being all chivalrous.

"Come on let's get you to the train station."

Angel moves to the door and I get up and follow him out. We walk down the hall to the elevator at the end of it.

"Are you gonna be okay?"

I take a deep breath as we continue down the hallway.

"I guess... I'm a little unsure what to expect except resentment, anger and probably some violence. Which I'm all for, I never quite get enough violence here. There aren't enough cemeteries in L.A. You actually have to go looking for evil in this town instead of staring it in the face when you walk out the door in Sunny D."

"Things are more complicated here, that's true. But things aren't exactly simple there either."

I look at him and smile for a second as we stop at the elevator and I push the down button.

"No, they really aren't."

The elevator opens up and I step inside, but Angel holds back. I look at him as the door starts to close and stop it.

"What about Buffy?"

I just stare at him for a minute and he stares right back with a warm look.

"What about her?"

"Well I seem to remember you saying that she threatened to kill you if she ever saw you again. You're not worried about that?"

"If it happens, it happens... I'm sure you'll hear from Giles or someone if it does. It won't though."

I let go of the door and it starts to close so Angel grabs it.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, for two reasons. B doesn't have it in her to kill humans, and she and I both know that even if she did, she doesn't have the muscle to kill me. In the past two years I've killed the original demon, and a mightily pissed off hell god. She doesn't have a chance and she knows it."

He gets in the elevator with me and we stand side by side as it starts its way down.

"Do you still love her?"

I turn my head his way and he just keeps staring ahead.

"Whatever we had, it's over now. If she wants to be enemies, I'm good with that. I'm going back for Joyce, not to kiss and make up."

He actually looks at me.

"So you do still love her then."

We just stare at each other for a moment as the elevator stops and the doors open.

"Do you?"

He gets this sorta sad smile on his face.

 _That's what I thought._

"You know as well as I do Angel, love isn't always enough."

I walk out into the Hyperion lobby.

 **Buffy's POV**

 _I can't stop crying. I don't know that I could stop crying even if I wanted to. My mom is probably gonna die. She's the only family I have left and she could be dying. Oh god... my mom could die on me._

I wipe the tears off my cheeks, which are quickly replaced by new ones.

 _I don't want my mom to die, but there's nothing I can do to stop what's happening. I'm helpless to do anything about it except wait and see if she pulls through. I can't do this. I can't handle... everything. First Dawn, then Faith and now, my mom? When is it all gonna stop?_

"Hello?"

 _Someone's here?_

I look up at them through blurry eyes and I think they take a few steps back.

 _Who?_

I wipe the tears from my eyes with my sleeve and take another look at... oh.

"Hi..."

I hug my knees a little tighter, not sure what to do.

"Um, it's Fay right?"

"Yeah, you remembered..."

"Kinda hard to forget someone you randomly punched out. It's not something I like to do everyday."

"Does that mean it's safe for me to be around you today?"

 _She really does look a lot like Faith._

I bury my face in myself, my forehead against my knees.

"I wouldn't say that."

There's a long pause of silence. I just sit there in the hospital outdoor quiet zone, trying not to cry.

"Are you all right... Buffy?"

Another moment of silence passes.

"It is Buffy, isn't it?"

I rub the tears out of my eyes again and look at her.

"Uh, yeah it is and... I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

I wipe the tears off my cheeks and run a hand through my hair.

"Really, I'm fine..."

I try for a smile but it doesn't last long and I start bawling again. She comes over and sits beside me on the bench. My forehead falls against my knees as the tears keep coming and I feel a comforting hand on my upper back. We sit there for a while and I just cry.

 _She shouldn't be here with me. She isn't safe around me. She shouldn't even be trying to make me feel better. I don't deserve her comfort. I punched her and gave her that black eye. I shouldn't..._

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I pull my head up and look in her direction, but with the tears all I see is a blurry outline.

"What... what are you doing here? Is it because of what I did? Did you get a c-concussion or...?"

"No, no I'm fine, aside from the eye being black."

My eyes drop and I look at my thighs as I try to clear my eyes once again.

"I'm very, very sorry about the punching."

"It's okay, I'm over it. It'll fade. Bonnie isn't exactly happy about it though, but she knows I wasn't picking a fight."

"Yeah neither was I..."

"Well, to answer your first question, I volunteer here whenever I can. I like to help those in need."

She suddenly gets very uncomfortable.

"Is that, why you're here? Are you, a patient?"

 _A patient?_

"What? N-no I'm not a... patient. It's, my mom... she's the patient."

"Oh, is she gonna be okay?"

I look around at the garden style quiet zone.

"They don't know..."

I feel tears coming again.

"Maybe not..."

She puts her arm around me as I can't stop the tears from flowing.

"I'm sorry..."

The tears keep coming but the words that she says somehow make me feel a little better, so I smile at her. I lean a little towards her and reach out to touch her face. I'm not sure why. She just smiles back, and for some reason, I lean the rest of the way in and kiss her softly. Our lips touch for all of 5 seconds before she pulls away quickly.

"Whoa, okay uh... whoa..."

 _What did I just do?_

I let go of my knees and back away a bit.

"I... I'm s-sorry I... don't know why I d-did that..."

"It's okay..."

 _Okay?_

"I think it's a couple counties over from okay. I shouldn't have... kissed you like that."

I stand up to back away some more.

"No, you shouldn't have, but I understand why you did."

 _She understands? How can she understand?_

"How can you understand if I don't? How can you say you understand?"

She stands up to comfort me.

"Whatever is going on with your mother is making you feel needy. I'm not sure why it keeps happening around me, but I see it a lot working here, I understand."

I look at her and I have to back up to keep from slugging her again.

"I... I'm sorry..."

She gives me a sympathetic smile.

"You know, I meant what I said about talking about it."

 _That is SUCH a bad idea._

I look toward the hallway entrance.

"No, I should go back to my mother. I kinda bailed on her when the doctor told us. I should be there for her."

I start backwards toward the hallway, looking at her.

"Besides, bad things keep happening when we're around each other."

"Right..."

I turn completely to the hallway.

"Buffy?"

I face her for a minute.

"Yeah?"

"Why is it that bad things keep happening when we're together?"

I clear my eyes a bit.

"I think, it's because you remind me, of... someone."

"Oh... someone you don't like?"

"You could say that..."

I turn and leave.

 **End of Chapter 7**


	8. Homecoming

**Mothers Chapter 8**

Homecoming

 **Faith's POV**

I step off the train and look around.

 _Good old Sunny D, home of the best apocalypse known to man._

I take a big whiff of the air at the train station and cough at how clean the air is in this small town.

 _It's not like the air in L.A., or back home in Boston. Less people means less pollution I guess. Well, I should probably start heading toward the hospital. I don't know how long I'm gonna be in town so it doesn't really make sense for me to get a room at my usual motel just yet. I've got the money if I need to, the money the mayor left me is keeping me nice and comfortable. I wish I could thank him for that somehow._

I look around the outdoor station at the people moving around me.

 _Where the heck was the passenger pick up area again? I haven't been here since the first time I came to Sunnydale._

I notice most of the passengers are all heading a certain way so I follow until I see a passenger pick up sign.

 _They usually have random cabs out waiting for people._

I walk out into a circular driveway and search for a cab.

 _Oh, there's one I think._

I start towards it.

"Faith?"

 _Giles?_

I turn around to see him standing next to his car.

"Giles?"

He gives me a look that kinda reminds me of the one Angel gives me when he's wondering what I'm thinking.

 _What is it with old people and that look?_

"What are you doing here?"

"Angel called and told me you were on your way and I came to pick you up."

 _Oh..._

"Does that mean...?"

"Buffy has no idea you are here."

"Well, I appreciate the offer, but I'd rather not get a lecture. I know what I did was wrong, and it eats me up inside every day that I couldn't find some way to stop it from happening. But it did happen, and I didn't have any choice but to do what I did. I know that, and I don't need other people telling me that because they feel the need to put me down for what I did. I'll get my own ride thank you very much."

I turn to the cab again.

"Do you really believe that is what will happen if you let me drive you to the hospital?"

I stop and face him.

"I have been in contact with Angel for some time now. I was well aware that you were staying with him and if I felt animosity toward you I could've at the very least asked him not to speak to you on the subjects he and I discussed."

 _True..._

"I guess."

"Right then..."

He turns to his car and opens the door for me on the passenger side.

"Shall we go then?"

I look around the pick up area and pretend like I'm thinking it over.

"Sure why not..."

I go up to the car and get in. As soon as I'm semi-comfortable he shuts the door and goes over to the driver's side, getting in. He turns the ignition and pulls out of the train station. We drive down the street and head to the hospital a couple miles away. I look over at him as he drives.

"So, isn't not telling Buffy kinda dangerous? I'm sure she won't be all that happy to see me."

"True, but if she knew you were coming she would do everything in her power to stop you from getting here. Now that you're here she..."

"Will do everything she can to get me to leave."

He pauses for a moment.

"That is the most likely outcome, yes."

Another moment of pause passes.

"Would it keep you from your goal here?"

"Seeing and talking to Joyce... not a chance. She means too much to me to let Buffy stand in my way. Joyce is like I always hoped my own mother would be to me. She asked me here to see her, and not even her pissed off daughter is going to keep me from it. Not forever anyway."

He doesn't say anything.

"So, if you knew I was staying with Angel, why didn't you stop talking to him?"

He turns the corner before answering.

"Because I wanted you to know..."

 _Oh..._

"You did?"

"Faith, I've been a watcher for a long time, most of my life in fact. One of the first things I was taught, and told to teach my charge is to put your own feelings aside for the good of the world."

I watch him as he continues driving and talking.

"I loved Dawn, the same as I care for Buffy or Xander and even Anya to an extent. I cared for Dawn the same way I care for you. I wanted Dawn to survive, I wanted everything to work out for the best, but as a watcher I had come to accept that she might not, long before Glory took Dawn."

"I guess Buffy never learned that lesson."

"Not as such, no. Buffy has always seen things with her heart. She trusts her heart to tell her right from wrong, even when she is confused about what her heart thinks she should do. It's something that she has always been able to trust, and from her perspective there isn't any reason to change that. She feels what you did was wrong in her heart, and she's not wrong about that. But being a slayer means sometimes you have to go with what your head tells you, instead of your heart. I have come to resolve my feelings towards your actions that day, as I can tell that you have as well. Buffy has yet to do that, and I suspect that she refuses to because of your past connection."

We pull up to the hospital and he stops.

"I'll park the car, you go on ahead."

I look at him and something about his gaze is comforting.

 _I guess he's right. I'm glad I'm not the only one in this town that understands why I did what I did._

"Thanks for the ride."

He just smiles at me. I smile back and readjust the strap on my shoulder. I get out of the car and he drives out into the parking lot to look for a spot. I turn to the door and go inside.

 **Buffy's POV**

 _God I don't know what I'm gonna do. I talked to my mom a minute ago. She's dealing with it better than I am. It's like she just accepted the fact that she could die. How can she do that? I don't know how to get through the next minute let alone the next few weeks of her treatment. What the hell am I gonna do? How can I spend any time with her without breaking into tears? I can't do this._

Someone sits down next to me and hands me a coffee. I look up to see Xander sitting next to me with concern.

"Thanks."

He just smiles at me. I hold the cup in my hands and feel how warm it is.

 _Faith brought me coffee once, when we were waiting for news about Dawn after she cut herself._

The image of Faith smiling flashes through my head and I feel like burning myself with the coffee in my hands.

 _Fucking bitch..._

"You okay?"

I look at him and see the look of concern turn to one of sympathy. I take a deep breath.

"Um, no... no I don't think I am. I don't know that I ever will be if my mom doesn't make it through this."

"She'll make it through, as long as you are there for her."

I take a deeper breath, my head dropping to stare at my coffee again.

"How can I be there for her if all I do when I'm around her is break into tears?"

"It tells her you care, which gives her a reason to keep fighting."

I close my eyes and just sit there for a minute.

"I guess. I... I don't want her to die."

"Neither do I B, neither do I."

I look up and Faith is standing there.

 **End of Chapter 8**


	9. Reunion of Pain

**Mothers Chapter 9**

Reunion of Pain

 **Faith's POV**

I walk down the hall to where the nurse said Joyce's room is. Then I see her, sitting in a chair with Xander by her side.

 _Well, I guess I'll have to deal with my ex first, before I deal with her mother._

I go towards her a bit until I hear her words.

"I guess. I... I don't want her to die."

"Neither do I B, neither do I."

She looks up at me with this look of pain.

"Um, hey..."

All the sudden her face changes to one of ice cold hatred.

 _I guess that was the wrong thing to say._

She drops the cup in her hands which spills on the floor and she all but charges me. I take a few back steps before she hits me with a right cross to the face and shoves me up against the nearest wall, her forearm holding me there by the throat.

"What the hell are you doing here Faith?"

I'm not sure why, but the look of pure hatred on her face makes me smile.

"It's nice to see you too B."

She grabs me by the shirt and pulls me off the wall just long enough to shove me as hard as she can against the wall again.

"What the HELL are you DOING here Faith?"

I kinda chuckle at her.

"Right now? I'm getting attacked by you, but everything isn't always about me you know B."

"Don't screw with me Faith, not now."

"When would you like me to then? Cause I can come back."

She takes her full weight off me for a split second and hits me in the face with a right cross.

"Last time we were three feet from each other I told you if I ever saw you again I'd kill you."

I straighten up against the wall, her arm back against my throat.

"Well, now's your chance B. Go ahead."

After a few seconds she looks down at her forearm on my throat and another couple moments pass before she starts to press down. Xander gets a little closer to us.

"Buffy, are you sure you wanna do this? Your track record hasn't been the greatest lately."

 _Her track record?_

"What's been wrong with your track record B?"

Our eyes meet again.

"It's nothing."

"Okay then, I'll just bask in the joy of how happy you are to see me."

"Fuck you Faith."

I smile at her.

"Well if that's what you really want B, but is angry sex really what you need right now?"

Her cold stare seems to get harder and she steps back, putting the full slayer force behind her punch.

 _Ow! I'm not entirely sure why I'm trying to piss her off exactly. It just seems like the right thing to do. She has every right to be pissed at me after what I've done. If I were in her shoes I'd probably attack me too. Pissing her off even more just feels right for some reason._

I get a little off balance but I move off the wall and stand steady.

"Get out of here Faith. Don't ever come back."

I pick up my bag.

"So you're not gonna kill me then?"

She goes to hit me and I block it, firing back with my own at barely half strength and it takes her off her feet. I just watch as Xander goes to her. Xander looks at me.

"Faith, maybe you should..."

He doesn't finish. Buffy looks up at me, the anger gone and a defeated, pain soaked look there.

"Just please... go..."

 _This isn't the time._

I make a move to leave.

"I'll go... but I'm coming back."

I start to go but stop to say one last thing.

"Your mom called me B, that's what I'm doing here. She called and asked me to come so she could talk to me. I don't know what she wants, but I won't leave until I find out what that is. So whether you want me to or not, I'll be back."

Then I just leave.

 **End of Chapter 9**


	10. A Mother's Love

**Mothers Chapter 10**

A Mother's love

 **Buffy's POV**

I walk straight into my mom's hospital room, stopping a few feet from her. She's being tended to by a nurse, but I don't care.

"How could you?"

Mom looks up at me, she doesn't say anything.

"After what she did?"

My mom looks at the nurse for a second.

"Nurse, would you give us a few minutes?"

She glances at me and then at my mother.

"Sure..."

The nurse leaves.

"How could you call Faith? How could you ask her to come here and not tell me?"

She takes a deep breath.

"I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure you'd let her come."

"You're damn right I wouldn't have let her come here. She KILLED DAWN!"

Mom just looks at me for a minute.

"Yes, she did. But that doesn't change the fact that I need to speak with her."

"Why? What could you have to talk to her about?"

Mom's eyes drift down to her feet.

 _Oh my god, is she?_

"You're going to forgive her? After she killed your daughter?"

"No I..."

"Would you forgive her if she had killed me? What if I had been on that tower and she had pushed ME? Would you have forgiven her THEN too?"

"BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS! You listen here..."

I stop talking and listen to my mother.

"I didn't say anything about forgiving her. You're angry and you're jumping to conclusions. Now calm down and let me explain."

 _What the hell am I doing? I'm yelling at my sick mother._

I run a hand through my hair.

"I, I'm sorry... I don't know what's wrong with me."

"I have no intention of forgiving Faith. What she did was wrong, and nothing she can say or do will change that. But as I've told you before, love isn't always about forgiveness. And as hard as this may be for you to accept, I still love Faith like she were my own daughter."

"But what she did..."

"Was wrong, I've already said that Buffy. But have you forgotten about what happened with Ted?"

 _What?_

I'm not really sure what she's trying to say so I just keep quiet.

"My ex-boyfriend... Ted? You killed him, remember?"

"He, he was a robot..."

"Did you know that when you hit him and knocked him down the stairs?"

"N-no..."

"I didn't find out until over a year later. Up until he showed up out of the blue the day after, I was completely convinced that you had killed the man I was in love with. But I knew even before that, even though you had killed him that I would do everything in my power to keep you from going to jail for it, because you were my daughter and I loved you. I know that the situations are different in a lot of ways. Dawn was incredibly unique, something I knew from the moment I held her in my arms after she was born. And I know that Dawn meant just as much to me as she did to you. But on a basic level, the situations are the same. You killed someone that I loved deeply, no matter how it came about, and Faith killed someone you loved deeply. Believe me... I understand what you're going through. But I came to a decision a long time ago that I loved my daughters unconditionally, and Faith as far as I'm concerned is still my daughter. Nothing either of you could ever do could change how I feel about the both of you. Not even what Faith did to Dawn can change it. I need Faith to know that in case something happens to me."

 _Something happens?_

I go up to her bed and sit next to her in the chair.

"Mom... nothing is gonna happen to you. The doctors started giving you the treatment today right?"

"Yes..."

"Then you're going to be fine Mom. You don't have to worry about telling Faith anything. She doesn't deserve to hear anything like that anyway, not after what she did."

"Isn't that my decision to make?"

 _She's really determined to do this._

"I'm not sure Mom, can't we... shouldn't you wait and see how good the treatment goes first? Maybe you won't have to tell her anything and she can just go away."

My mom looks at me for a few seconds.

"All right, if you feel that strongly about it, I'll wait. But on one condition..."

 _Condition?_

"What is it?"

"That if I decide in a few days, or weeks that I want to talk to Faith, you won't stand in my way."

I take a minute and look at her.

 _God I hate this. I just want Faith to go back wherever she came from... but she's my mother, I can't say no._

"Okay..."

I sit back in the chair and close my eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Okay, I... I won't stand in the way, as long as you give it some time."

"Deal..."

My eyes meet with my mother's.

"I love you Mom..."

"I love you too sweetheart."

 **Faith's POV**

 _Well that went well... I guess._

I drop my bag just inside my motel room door as I shut it and head over to the bed.

 _At the very least there was a lot less violence than expected._

I get on the bed and lie down.

 _I figured she'd throw a chair at me, or maybe the coffee she had in her hands. But I came away with a few threats and some hits to the face. That's much better than third degree burns. Still, I hope Joyce is all right. Buffy no doubt went to confront her mother about calling me and asking me to come see her. Not that I think Buffy would hurt her in a million years, I mean if she can't hurt me after what I've done then she'd never even think of hurting Joyce, no matter how much she hates me. I just don't think that her daughter yelling at her is what Joyce needs right now. I get the impression she's not in the greatest condition._

I get up and go towards the bathroom. I stop in front of the mirror and look at myself in it. I notice the redness on my cheek and check it for bruising.

 _I knew not telling Buffy was a bad idea._

I run my hand over my cheek when I realize it's fine.

 _Well, nothing I can do about it now. The important thing is that she knows I'm here in town now and I'm not going away until I see Joyce. She means too much to me to not give her what she wants._

I head back into the main part of my motel room and sit on the bed.

 _I'll have to wait for a better time to see Joyce. I told Giles where I'd be staying when I saw him on my way out, he remembers the number. I also left the number with the hospital reception and asked them to give it to Joyce when Buffy isn't around as a favor to me. I made their workplace a vampire free zone back about a year ago when I wiped out Omega's gang from Sunnydale, and most of them know it. I'm sure Joyce will get the message. Now I just have to figure out what to do until then. It could be a few days at least, maybe longer, depending on how Buffy feels._

I lie back on the bed.

 _I should at least do some good while I'm here, maybe patrol. I could go by the cemetery and visit Dawn's grave, if I can find the courage to go there and face her that is. She was my daughter and she's gone. I know it's my fault and I have to live with that, but it still hurts that she died. It was hard enough to face what happened to Buffy 2 years ago, I'm not sure I could handle seeing Dawn's name etched in stone. I guess I'll try and go and find out._

 **End of Chapter 10**


	11. Rising Past

**Mothers Chapter 11**

Rising Past

 **Faith's POV**

I reach out and touch the cold marble of the stone. It makes my stomach lurch to feel it.

 _Dawn..._

I finally get up the courage to open my eyes and look at the inscription on the headstone.

' _Dawn Marie Summers_

 _1987-2001_

 _Beloved Sister_

 _Darling Daughter_

 _She was loved'_

My eyes sting with tears and I squeeze them shut to keep them from coming. I whisper to her.

"I'm sorry Dawnie..."

 _I haven't been back here since the funeral. I haven't kneeled at her grave and stared at the engraving. I haven't touched the cold stone and cried like I did after the funeral was all over. I should've come back sooner to see my daughter. But I just couldn't face her until now._

I trace the D in her name with my finger. Taking another second to grieve, I stand up and put my hand on top of the headstone.

"I love you..."

I take a deep breath before making my way out of the cemetery. I scan the area one more time before leaving.

 _I guess there isn't as much action in this town as I thought. I've been patrolling all over town for a week now and I think I've had barely one vamp a night._

I walk out of the cemetery I just patrolled and head towards Restfield.

 _I'm not sure whether to worry or not. A lack of vampire activity means there probably aren't any new vampires rising, at least from graves. But the downside is they could also be gathering somewhere, making the way for something, and that can only be bad. Maybe I should stop by Giles' place and mention it, if he's around. His place is about 10 or 12 blocks east of Restfield, and my place is about 5 or 6 blocks from there. Maybe there's an apocalypse coming, wouldn't that be fun?_

I catch a glimpse of the top of a crypt not too far from here and I know I'm close to Restfield. I stop across the street from the cemetery and all of the sudden I hear a car screeching down the street. I look to my left where the screeching is coming from. I see a young girl turn around just in time to see the car hit her as it stops.

 _What the hell? I can't remember the last time I heard about a car accident in Sunnydale, especially one where the driver actually drove off the road on purpose to hit someone._

Four large men get out of the small car as I start to make my way over there. They gather around what I'm assuming is an injured girl and one of them kneels down. I break into a run as I see the three others start to kick her, while the one kneeling starts punching her. As soon as I get there I grab two of the guys by the neck and throw them about 10 feet in the opposite directions. The third guy notices me and stops kicking the girl to attack me. I deflect the punch and fire back with a hard left to his face. He stumbles back a bit and I go for another punch when he looks at me, all vamped out.

 _Damn, I should've known._

His vampire face distracts me for a second and I get kicked in the back of my knee and I fall back onto the street.

 _Ow!_

The vamp who kicked me tries to get on top of me but I was never much for lying on my back. I grab him by the shoulders to keep him from getting too close. Then use my right hand to hit him in the face several times. He's disoriented long enough for me to get my knees up and double kick him into the air and crashing into the car's windshield. The second vamp comes at me while the first vamp gets up from 10 feet away. I do a half break dance and scissor his legs, knocking him off his feet. I climb on top of him and pull out my stake before plunging into his heart.

He turns to dust as vamp number one takes up a fighting stance. I catch leg movement out of the corner of my eye from the girl I'm trying to save.

 _She's still alive, good._

I stand up and take a quick glance at the vamp on a windshield, making sure he's still out as I take up a fighting stance myself. He decides to strike first and I quickly duck his right hook then fire back with one shot to the stomach and two to his ugly vamp face. He tries for a left and I deflect it, using the momentum to hit him with a spinning backhand then spin the other way and take him down with a roundhouse to the face. I stake him quick and then windshield boy as he's starting to wake up. I face the last vamp and he runs off. I take a deep breath and look around to make sure there aren't more heading this way, then check on the girl. I kneel down and...

"Anya?"

I check her over.

 _She's still breathing, but she was hurt bad from the car and the beating. Why did they attack Anya? The fact that they ran her down makes me think it wasn't random. I'll worry about that later... right now she needs a doctor._

"Anya? Anya, can you hear me?"

Her head moves even though she's unconscious.

"I'm taking you to the hospital, don't worry."

I slide one hand under her head and the other behind her knees, lifting her up. I look around to get my bearings as to what the quickest way to the hospital is. I head towards it.

 **End of Chapter 11**


	12. Saving Anya

**Mothers Chapter 12**

Saving Anya

 **Faith's POV**

I rush through the automatic doors of the emergency entrance, Anya in my arms.

"I need a doctor."

A number of nurses come out of the nurses' station a couple feet from the door. Two of them grab a gurney and bring it this way while another rushes up to me.

"What happened?"

"She was hit by a car, and then beaten."

They bring the gurney close enough and I put Anya on it. We start down a hall.

"These guys, they ran her over and then got out and started beating her up. I think they were trying to kill her."

The nurses check her over.

"She's still breathing but it's shallow, there could be internal bleeding. Let's get her into exam and prep an operating room just in case. Do you know this girl?"

 _Me?_

"Yes, she's a friend."

"Does she have any family?"

"No, she doesn't. All she has is a boyfriend. He should be somewhere in this hospital. I can tell him."

"All right let us do our work."

I stop as the nurse in front of me becomes a blockade.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"We'll do everything we can and let you know. For now I just need to get some information from you."

I watch over her shoulder as they take her beyond a pair of swinging doors.

 _I hope she'll be okay._

"What's her name?"

"Anya, Anya Jenkins."

"You saw it happen?"

"Yeah, I was down the street when the car just drove up on the sidewalk and hit her."

"Okay we'll probably have to get you to make a statement to the police later."

"Sure..."

 _Not that the vamps can be tracked down._

"You said she didn't have any family, just a boyfriend? Do you know his name or maybe how to get in touch with him?"

 _He's probably here in the hospital._

"Uh, his name is Xander and he's already here visiting someone. I'll find him."

I start going back down the hall and make a left before she gets a word in.

 _I have to tell Xander. I just hope he hasn't gone home. If the attack wasn't random then they might attack anyone close to Anya. Or it could be an attack against me or Buffy._

I turn right.

 _It wouldn't be the first time a bunch of vamps have wanted to kill us._

I take a left and go down the hall towards where Joyce's room is.

 _But who would know us well enough to do that?_

As I get close to Joyce's room I don't see Xander, but I do see B. She notices me as I approach and she stands to meet me, that steely gaze back on her face.

"I thought I told you..."

"Where's Xander?"

"Why?"

"Because I need to find him..."

"What are you gonna do when you find him? Murder him in cold blood?"

I stop dead and just look her in the eyes for a few seconds.

 _I'm not even gonna answer that. I don't have any time to waste on her insults._

"Something's happened B... I need to find Xander and tell him. Where is he?"

I turn away from her and look both ways down the hall in case he's coming this way.

"You stay away from Xander. He doesn't need you and neither do I. Go back to wherever the hell you came from and don't come back."

 _She isn't going to help, not that I expected her to. He's probably around here somewhere._

I start toward the nearest hallway. A hand grabs my wrist and she pulls me to face her.

"Hey! Did you hear me?"

"I heard ya B, doesn't mean I'm gonna listen."

I twist my wrist out of her grasp and try to continue but she grabs my arm a lot harder and forces a confrontation.

"You damn well better listen to me or I'll..."

She stops short of her threat.

"Or you'll what B?"

"Or I'll hurt, you."

 _Is that so?_

I grab her wrist and pull her hand off my arm.

"So now you've gone from killing me to hurting me? What's next? Are you gonna promise to cuddle with me next time we meet?"

"Would it make you go away and never come back?"

Something about her asking that question makes me smile.

"No, it wouldn't."

"Then don't count on it."

There's a moment of silence between us.

"You should think about trying to keep your promises B."

I smile at her when her look gets colder and head off down the hall in search of Xander.

"This coming from the BITCH who promised me she'd protect Dawn no matter what the cost."

I stop and turn around.

"Look, B..."

I notice Xander standing a few feet behind her, observing the scene with a coffee in one hand and a bag big enough for two donuts at least in the other.

"Xander..."

I move toward him but before I can get more than a couple steps, Buffy moves in and blocks me.

"I said stay away from him."

I stare down her steely gaze.

 _I might as well just say it._

"Anya's hurt..."

Her coldness suddenly falters. Xander speaks up.

"What?"

My eyes travel to Xander's as she backs down.

"I was out on patrol, and I saw someone get run down by a car. I didn't know what to do until I realized the people in the car were attacking her."

Buffy joins the conversation.

"Demons?"

"Vampires..."

"Oh god..."

"But it's okay Xander, she's hurt but after I dusted them I brought her here to the E.R. The doctors are with her."

"I have to see her."

He puts the things in his hands down against the wall and turns around.

"I just brought her in two minutes ago. They're probably still checking her out."

He doesn't even turn around as he heads to the E.R.

"I have to try."

 _He shouldn't go alone._

"I'll go with you."

I move B out of the way and hurry after him. I get a few strides before I realize Buffy isn't following. I notice her standing in the middle of the hall, staring at one of the hospital room doors.

"Are you coming Buffy?"

She doesn't respond.

"B?"

"Uh, yeah I... I am I just, need to, tell my mom where I am. In case she needs me."

 _Right..._

I glance at the door she's staring at before heading after Xander. I turn around the first corner and I see him already 20 feet ahead of me, weaving through various patients in the halls. I follow, doing my best to catch up as he makes the next right. I take the same corner a few seconds later and I think I've closed the gap to 10 feet.

 _He loves Anya a lot, but I don't think they'll let him see her. Three minutes just isn't long enough to repair any damage. No matter how good the doctors are._

He takes one last turn and I do too. We run up to the E.R. nurses station.

"Anya? Anya Jenkins? How is she? She was just brought in."

The nurse rifles through her papers and picks up one.

"I'm sorry sir, there's no news just yet. You'll have to wait."

He steps back and lets out a deep breath. I put a hand on his shoulder and he looks at me.

"It'll be okay."

 **End of Chapter 12**


	13. Whispers of Danger

**Mothers Chapter 13**  
Whispers of Danger

 **Buffy's POV**

I put a hand on Xander's shoulder and give it a soft squeeze as the doctor comes this way. He looks at me and smiles for a split second. The doctor stops a few feet from the three of us.

"Xander Harris?"

"That's me..."

He points to each of us as he makes introductions.

"These are my friends, Buffy..."

I nod and smile at him.

"And Faith..."

She nods and smiles too.

 _Faith isn't a friend, she just happened to be there._

"She's the one who brought Anya in."

"Nice to meet you both..."

Xander skips right to the point.

"How is she doctor?"

The doctor takes a long deep breath.

"I have good news and bad news..."

 _This can't be good._

"The good news is that Ms Jenkins is fine..."

I breathe a sigh of relief.

 _That's good news at least._

"She's very much alive. She's in recovery and doing well."

"And the bad news?"

"There may be fractures in her spinal column."

"May be?"

"There's extensive swelling as a result of the car slamming into her. We won't know the extent of the damage until the swelling comes down."

 _Oh gosh..._

"Is it... you said fractured, not broken?"

"She may have difficulty moving for a while if there are any fractures, but we haven't seen any evidence that there is any permanent damage."

 _Oh thank god..._

Xander sighs heavily.

"So she'll be okay?"

"Yes, eventually."

"Thank god..."

He turns to me and we hug.

"I told you everything was gonna be okay."

He pulls back and smiles at my words.

"Yeah, you did."

Then he all but spins on his heel and grabs Faith into a hug.

"And so did you..."

I watch her smile as she hugs him and it makes me wanna break her jaw. She pulls away from the hug.

"Thank you, for saving her."

"I'm just glad I happened to be there to stop it."

 _Yeah, like she just happened to be there when Dawn died..._

Xander turns to the doctor.

"Can we see her?"

"She'll be out for another couple of hours. We gave her some medication and put her in a neck brace to keep her from any further involuntary damage until the swelling comes down a little more."

"I'd just like to see her, to know that she's really okay."

The doctor gives Xander a sympathetic look.

"Sure, right this way."

He does a 180 and heads down the hall, we follow. I can't help but look over at Faith as we walk down to Anya's room.

 _She should go. Anya's gonna be fine, there's no need for her to be here anymore._

"Here we are..."

The doctor stops and motions to one of the rooms.

"Thank you doc..."

"My pleasure, please feel free to page one of the nurses if you need anything."

"I will..."

He leaves as we follow Xander into the room. I almost don't want to believe it as I see Anya lying in a hospital bed, with a neck brace on. Xander goes straight to Anya's bedside. He takes her limp hand in his and holds it gently. Within seconds Faith puts a chair behind him. He smiles at her and then sits down.

"Thanks..."

"No problem."

 _I could've done that. She doesn't have to be here for me to do that._

She glances at me as she backs up a bit and I can't help but glare back.

 _Go away!_

I approach the bed a little more and stand next to Xander. I notice him squeeze her hand and wait for a response of some kind. When she stays limp in the bed, he gets kinda choked up.

"She's just sleeping Xander, she's gonna be..."

I look at Anya's black and blue sleeping face and the memory of Dawn lying on a pile of broken concrete flashes in my head. I squeeze my eyes shut for a split second and shake my head to get rid of the image.

"... fine... she'll be fine."

"Buffy's right Xander, the doc said she was gonna pull through, you don't have to worry."

 _Oh for god sake Faith, just go away already._

"I know it's just..."

"You know what Faith? You can leave now, I've got this."

She stands up straight and almost glares back.

"Do you?"

"Yes, I don't need you to help me take care of my friends. I can handle it."

Xander lets out a deep frustrated sigh but doesn't say anything.

"Well it's a good thing I'm not here for your friends then, isn't it? I'm here for mine."

 _Oh please..._

"Your friends?"

"Yes..."

"YOUR friends?"

"Yeah, what are you trying to ignore me or something?"

 _She really needs the crap beaten out of her._

"They should reconsider being your friends then. People close to you seem to keep dying."

"Maybe you should let them make their own decisions on how they feel about that."

"Maybe you should leave town and save them the trouble."

"And maybe..."

Xander all but jumps out of his chair and faces us.

"Maybe neither of you will have any friends at all if you don't stop arguing for more than 30 seconds."

He takes a deep breath and calms down slightly.

 _I don't know what to say._

"And maybe, you could realize that one of your, FRIENDS is lying almost dead in a hospital bed not 3 feet from you... and that another needs your support right now."

Except for the beeping of the heart rate monitor, there's a minute of silence in the room.

 _He's right, Anya's hurt and I need to focus on helping him through this, like I am with my mom._

"I'm sorry Xander..."

"Yeah, so am I."

I look over at Faith and force myself not to glare at her.

 _She didn't say she was sorry. She just dittoed what I said. Don't focus on how much you hate her, focus on anything but how much you hate her._

"Meg... a..."

 _Anya?_

All three of us turn to Anya in the bed. She's shifting on the bed a little. She seems upset while still being asleep.

"N-no..."

Xander leans over the bed and takes her hand again.

"Ssh... An, it's okay. I'm here, it's all right."

She stirs a little more but slowly calms down. One last thing escapes her lips.

"Omega..."

 _What? Omega? Oh my god..._

I look to Faith and I'm pretty sure she's thinking the same thing I am.

 _I never figured I'd have that thought again._

"Did she say Omega?"

Xander glances at us before turning back to Anya.

"I... I think she, did."

"Why did she say Omega's name?"

"I don't know."

 _What if?_

"Faith, you said that the vamps that attacked her... intentionally ran her down with a car?"

"Yeah, I did B."

 _Oh god..._

"What if the ones who did it were followers of Omega?"

Xander looks at us, confused.

"But Omega's dead, there's no one to follow. Why would they do this?"

Faith speaks up.

"I guess we'll have to ask Anya when she wakes up. Something must've made her say his name, but only she may know what it is."

 _God, I really didn't need any more badness in my life._

 **End of Chapter 13**


	14. Bring on the Unknown

**Mothers Chapter 14**

Bring on the Unknown

 **Faith's POV**

I sit down in a chair outside Anya's room after pacing for the past few minutes.

 _This could be bad. This could be really bad. I came back to Sunnydale to see Joyce, which I still haven't done thanks to B, and now there could be an even bigger problem going on. I guess someone didn't like what happened to their big bad dead demon. Then again, we don't actually know that this is related to Omega's former cult just yet._

I run my hands through my hair.

 _I hope Giles gets here soon. He was about to leave his place to come here when I called and told him what Anya said. He decided to check The Book of Karameth and a couple other books that mention Omega's cult before coming here. I'm not sure whether to hope he's found something or not. If he finds something, that means that whatever's happening could be prophesized and that something even worse is coming. But at least we'd see it coming. If he doesn't find anything then there's no telling what could be happening. I don't know what to feel._

"Faith?"

I look up and Buffy is standing a few feet from me, and that cold stare plastered on her face.

"What the hell are you still doing here?"

I'm about to say something when I notice someone coming this way, it's Giles. I point to him.

"I'm waiting for the big guy, B."

I get up and wait while he travels the last few meters this way.

"You don't have to be here."

I keep my eyes on Giles as I respond.

"I know... but I am."

Giles looks at both of us separately as he stops.

"Buffy... Faith, are you both all right? How is Anya?"

"She's fine."

Buffy looks back and forth between Giles and me.

"You knew she was here?"

I turn to B.

"I called him after what Anya said, asked him to check out anything that might tell us what's going on."

"Why?"

"Because I was hoping he might be able to find something."

She doesn't look at me.

"No, I mean how could you not tell me you knew Faith was back in town?"

Giles doesn't say anything.

"Did you know she was here before she called? Did you know she was coming?"

There's a moment of silence.

"Yes, I did..."

"Why didn't you tell me? You should've tried to stop her."

"Buffy... as much as I abhor what Faith has done, I believe she may be of use."

Her steely gaze seems to transfer to Giles.

"Use? How EXACTLY is she going to be of use?"

"She is a slayer. She can patrol when you can't."

"Since when can't I patrol?"

Giles takes a breath.

"You haven't patrolled in over a month, which is understandable, given the situation with your mother. She comes first, but someone has to be out there, and Faith is the obvious choice."

She scoffs at him.

"And if Omega's cult truly has returned, then we may need all the help we can get."

She turns to me, anger boiling behind the steely gaze.

"We don't need HER help. Every time she helps, someone winds up dead."

I just look at her.

"Not EVERY time B."

"Still don't need your help bitch."

 _God damn it..._

"You know B..."

Giles steps in to stop us.

"Buffy, while I understand how you feel. We must consider what's best for the world. Even if these vampires aren't involved with Omega, they still may pose a serious threat, particularly if they choose to focus on you and your friends."

 _Great point..._

"And I can help with things like that."

She looks to Giles and then glares at me for an extra long second.

"No..."

 _Well, I saw that coming._

"No, I will NOT let her help."

Buffy turns away from both of us for a split second.

"I can do this on my own. I can do it and no one else will get hurt because she won't be a part of it."

There's an extra long pause.

"I... I have to go check on my mother."

She heads off without another word.

"Things are going well I see."

I turn to Giles.

"Very well..."

I glance to where Buffy ran off.

"She's got a lot of anger in her, most of which is directed at me."

"But you understand why, don't you?"

I take a deep breath and move to stand beside him, staring down the hall.

"I do, she has every right to be angry with me. But it could get her killed if she goes up against these new vamps. Anya said after she woke up that the vamps were talking about hurting her in the name of Omega. There's a pretty good chance they used to work for him."

He doesn't say anything for a moment.

"She'll need your help."

I let out a heavy sigh.

"That's why I'm here... to help."

 _And hopefully see Joyce while I'm at it._

 **End of Chapter 14**


	15. Left Unsaid

**Mothers Chapter 15**

Left Unsaid

 **Buffy's POV**

I take a long deep breath, trying NOT to think about her as I sit with my mom.

 _Thinking about Faith will only make me wanna smash something._

I watch my mom as she sleeps at 5:30 in the afternoon.

 _She hasn't had to take a nap this early in at least a month or two. She's been feeling more and more tired at the end of the day these past few weeks, but she hasn't slept. All the strength she's been feeling only lasts 9 or 10 hours before she'd get really tired. But in the last couple days she's been tired earlier. The doctors think it has something to do with the new treatment. They always give her a shot before 3 and it seems to make her drowsy._

I reach out and take my mother's limp hand.

 _There have been a few different treatments now and they say none of them have caused a significant change in her condition._

I close my eyes.

 _She has to be okay. I need her to be okay._

I feel a squeeze of my hand and I look to my mom who's lying awake in her hospital bed.

"Mom..."

She smiles at me and squeezes my hand again.

"Hey sweetie, how are you?"

 _Me?_

"Worried about you mostly..."

"That's nice honey, but I'm sure there are other things to worry about. Is Anya all right?"

 _Anya?_

"She... yeah, she's gonna be all right. She's a little bruised from when the car ran her down by a bunch of vamps. But once she heals up, she'll be fine."

She sighs happily.

"That's good..."

"Yeah..."

"And how's Faith?"

The sound of her name makes me pull back and let go of her hand.

"She's still a bitch."

"So she's fine then, I'm glad."

I just sit in my chair, trying not to look at her.

"Yes she's fine... unfortunately."

I bring my eyes to hers for a split second and she smiles at me as I divert them again.

"I'm sorry, I know you don't like to talk about her but I was worried."

 _Right..._

"You said Anya was attacked by vampires, and earlier you mentioned that Faith saved her. I was worried she might have gotten hurt."

"She's fine..."

"Have you talked with her?"

 _Talked?_

"No, of course not... why would I?"

She takes a deep breath.

"To deal?"

 _Deal?_

"Deal how?"

There's a long moment of silence between us and I look at her as she finally speaks.

"You know how, Buffy. Dawn is..."

I get up and move away from the bed, stopping her.

"I know, I know, you don't have to say it, I know."

"I just want to make sure you're taking the time to deal with what happened to Dawn."

I turn back to my mom.

"I was there when it happened. I helped pick out the casket. I was at her funeral. How did I not deal with the fact that she's gone?"

I stare at her for a few seconds. I close my eyes because I know exactly what she means and I hate the fact that she knows. I run my hands through my hair.

"I'm NOT having this conversation again."

"Buffy..."

"NO... it doesn't matter how she feels. It doesn't matter what she might say. She killed Dawn, it's over between us."

"Your relationship might be over, but the feelings you have for each other are very much still there, especially your feelings toward her when it comes to Dawn."

I turn away from my mom.

"You wouldn't be holding on to your anger towards Faith if you didn't still feel something for her."

My insides start clenching up and I almost wanna cry.

"Mom, I..."

 _I really don't want to hear this._

"Even if I do feel something... all it is, is hate. I hate her and I just want her to go away."

She sighs heavily.

"Do you really think it's that simple? That her leaving is all it will take for you to deal with what she did? She was gone for months before this, and you're still angry with her."

 _I can't talk about this anymore._

"Look, Mom... the vampires that attacked Anya, I don't think it was random. There's a good chance, that whoever attacked her was connected to Omega."

"Omega? You mean the demon that..."

"Killed me? Yeah... which means whatever they're up to can't be good. I have to find out what they're doing, even if they aren't involved with Omega, and stop them."

"You're going on patrol?"

I lower my head as it feels like I'm betraying her somehow by going.

"Yes, will you be okay here without me?"

"Of course honey, I'll be okay."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"All right..."

I look out the window for a second.

 _The sun should be down in an hour or so._

"I have to go soon. I gotta stop by the house for some weapons before I go out."

"It's all right. You can go if you need to."

I move to my mom's bedside.

"It can wait a little while longer."

 **End of Chapter 15**


	16. Things That Are Kept Pent Up

**Mothers Chapter 16**

Things That Are Kept Pent Up

 **Buffy's POV**

 _Nothing... I've got nothing. I've patrolled for almost three days now and I haven't run across a single vampire._

I turn left at one of the headstones and take the long way out of the graveyard just in case.

 _God, can't I do anything right? I can't even do my job properly. I'm supposed to help people. I'm supposed to save people from the bad things that are out there. But I can't save anyone. I can't protect the world if I can't save the people I care about. I couldn't save Riley. I couldn't save Dawn, and now I can't save my own mother. What the hell kinda slayer am I? Protector of the innocent, what a joke. No matter what I do, or how hard I try, someone always seems to die because I wasn't able to save them. And now SHE'S here. She won't leave me alone._

I walk around one of the bigger crypts in the graveyard.

 _She just keeps showing up. No matter how many times I tell her to go away, she keeps coming back. I yell and scream and beg and plead for her to leave and never come back but she keeps popping up. I wish I could just wrap my hands around her neck and make her disappear. But I can't. I can't because I'm not like her. I'm not a murderer. I would never take another person's life, whatever the reason is. I..._

I stop as I get a tingly feeling, like someone's watching me. I look around to see if anyone's nearby.

 _I don't see anyone. They must be getting ready to attack or something._

My hand slowly drifts to the stake in my belt, concealed by the jacket I'm wearing.

 _Where are they? There aren't that many places a vamp or demon could hide in this cemetery. There aren't any big shrubs or trees around that they can use for cover._

I look behind me at the crypt I just passed a few feet away.

 _Unless..._

I look up to the top of the crypt and...

"Faith..."

"Hey B..."

 _I'm gonna kick her ass._

She gets up from her perch on top of the crypt and jumps down.

"You really should pay more attention. If I had been a vamp or a demon or something, I could've attacked you and caught you off guard. You might've gotten hurt or killed."

I glare at her as she makes her way closer to me. Once she's within arms length I swipe at her with all the force I can muster in that second. She dodges it easily and takes a few steps back.

"Whoa, B, I'm not actually a demon you know?"

 _God damn it..._

"You of all people should know that it doesn't take a vamp or a demon to murder someone Faith."

There's a moment of silence.

"I was just trying to look out for you. Is that any reason to try and take my head off?"

I cross my arms over my chest, glaring at her.

"I need a new reason? I think the one I've got is more than enough."

Another moment of silence passes.

"Look, I was trying to watch out for you B. It took you a while to realize I was there. You're not at your best."

 _Has she been stalking me?_

"How long were you watching me?"

She glances up and points to the roof of the crypt.

"From there? About five minutes..."

 _Five minutes? I should've noticed her the second she was there. She must've done something._

"Get lost Faith, I don't need you watching out for me. I can do things myself."

I turn and walk away from her.

"I'm trying to help you."

 _Help me?_

I spin back around on my heels.

"I do NOT need your HELP Faith! Now GO AWAY!"

I start leaving again and she follows.

"Not a chance B. If whoever attacked Anya really is connected to Omega, then there's no way I'm leaving you to fight them alone."

My fist clenches as she continues to follow me.

"I can handle this on my own."

She grabs my shoulder and forces me to stop.

"Like hell you can. Do I have to remind you that the last time we went up against Omega, you died?"

 _No, she doesn't._

"I remember all too well Faith. You don't have to worry though. I won't make the same mistake twice."

The sudden shock on her face tells me I hit a nerve. I turn to leave but she stops me.

"Mistake? Whoa, wait a second... mistake?"

 _Didn't she hear me?_

"Yes, mistake..."

"So, you think the fact that you gave your life for mine... was a mistake?"

I stare her straight in her eyes.

"Yes..."

I shove her away from me to continue leaving this graveyard, and her.

"So all that stuff about being in love until the day you die and beyond. That you'd die a thousand times as long as I was safe. Was that all crap?"

I stop and face her.

"No... not at the time."

"So things have changed then?"

I can't look at her. I keep leaving but again I'm stopped by Faith.

"Yes, they have."

I shrug her off and try to get away.

"Then I guess you never really meant any of it in the first place."

She starts following me again.

"I guess not."

She gets out in front of me and keeps me from going.

"Do you regret what happened? Do you regret... us?"

I stare her right in the eyes and I don't know if I want to knock her flat on her ass or just leave her with what's already been said.

"Because I don't... there are things about how things happened between us that I wish were different. Things I wish I could change, even though I know I never can. But I don't regret falling for you for a second. That's something that I would never change no matter what. Whatever else I might change, THAT, could never be different. Would you?"

"Yes... now..."

There are a few moments of silence as our eyes stay locked to each other's.

"Now? What changed?"

 _She's not serious._

"You know EXACTLY what's changed Faith."

I feel my fist clench and unclench.

"Dawn..."

With that I let loose and slug her in the face, knocking her down.

"DO NOT say her name. You don't get to say her name."

She grabs her chin and starts to get up again.

"Why not?"

"You don't deserve to say her name, not after what you did."

I go to leave, heading back into the cemetery to avoid her.

"She was my daughter too Buffy."

I stop and face her as she closes the space I tried to put between us.

"No, she's NOT your daughter Faith, not anymore. You gave up the right to call her that when you pushed her off that tower."

"That's a load of crap and you know it B. I loved Dawn. I loved her as much as you did. Whether or not you think I deserve to call Dawn my daughter can never change the fact that she was just as much my daughter as she was yours. The monk said that Dawn was created from a piece of both of us. So no matter how much you may want it to be otherwise, Dawn is, was and always will be OUR daughter. I will always be Dawn's mother... just like you. We will always be connected, through her. WE will always be her parents."

 _God, why doesn't she ever shut up and leave me alone?_

"Well you're the absolute worst mother in the world then. No self-respecting mother would ever do what you did. They'd give their lives before letting anything happen to their child."

"I don't know any other mothers with children whose blood can destroy the world B. No one else has ever had to make the kind of decision that I made that night, the only person who has ever had to make a choice like that other than me... is you. After you killed Angel and sent him to hell to save the world. You remember you told me about that?"

"That was different."

She slowly gets in my face again.

"Why?"

"Because he didn't have a soul when he did what he did. It wasn't until just before I closed the portal that he got it back. You had a soul when you pushed Dawn off the tower."

"And you had a soul when you put that sword through his stomach B, and so did he. We both had to make a choice. Dawn's blood was going to destroy the world, and so was Angel's. You had to choose between the man you love and the world, and I had to choose between my family and the world."

 _No... it's just not that simple. It's never that simple._

I glare at her hard before speaking.

"And you chose the world."

Our eyes stay locked for a few moments and it's like a sudden realization comes over Faith.

"Is that what this is about? You're mad at me because I would rather save the world then let it die and save my daughter?"

"No... the reason I hate you is because of how you went about it."

"Because I killed Dawn, I know. I wish there could've been a way that I could've saved Dawn and the world, but there wasn't. Her blood was pouring into the sky before I got there. There wasn't any other way for me to stop the world from ending B. And no matter what I may have done to her, I still loved Dawn."

 _She really does think it was that simple._

"There WAS a way. A better way and you didn't take it."

"Enlighten me."

We stare each other down.

"You should've gone off the tower yourself."

"Kill myself... how, by taking a swan dive?"

"Yes..."

"Why? Because it's what you would've done?"

"In a heartbeat..."

"So because it's what you would've done it would've worked and it automatically becomes my responsibility to be you and do what YOU think is right, even though it never would've worked?"

I take a swing at her but she blocks it by catching my fist and letting it go.

"It would've worked! We were Dawn's parents, our blood ran through Dawn's veins, and Dawn's blood opened the portal. One of us could've closed the portal with ours."

"B, in everything that Giles could find the opening and closing of the portal was specific to The Key. Dawn was the only one of us that was The Key."

 _I don't care._

"It would've worked, and if you ever really loved either of us, you would have jumped off that tower and saved your daughter. But you didn't, and I will hate you for the rest of both our lives for that."

 _I'm done talking about this._

I turn to leave and she grabs my arm, forcing me to face her again.

"God, you really do have some sick martyr complex don't you?"

 _What the hell is she talking about?_

"I DO NOT!"

"Yes, you do, and what's worse you've convinced yourself that only someone who is just as martyr happy as you are could ever really love you. I loved you, some part of me always will, but the kind of love you want... that's not what real love is B."

This time it's Faith who goes to leave.

"And you're such an expert on love are you? This coming from the woman who told me she'd never loved anyone before me."

She stops.

"After everything we've been through together, I could write a book."

"You think so do you?"

She takes a deep breath before turning around.

"Do you know why they call them tragic love stories B?"

"No, why?"

"Because a fucking tragedy happens, something horrible tears them apart forever. Yeah, it's wild and passionate and it feels incredible, but it never lasts. That's not what real love is B, that's not the kind of love I had for you, it's not the kind of love I had for Dawn, and if I had taken a dive off that tower, that's the kind of love we would've had and I want no part of that... not anymore. I've learned that lesson the hard way. What I did to Dawn had nothing to do with whether I loved you, or her. It had everything to do with saving the world at any cost."

 _She never really loved me at all._

"I did it for you. I gave my life for yours and the world."

"Yeah, and you know what it did to me."

"I saved your life."

"You also ripped my heart out of my chest and forced it down my own throat. What you did killed me on the inside. It would've been so much better if you had been too late, that way neither of us would've been a martyr. After you died and Omega was gone, I could barely breath it was so hard. I may have loved you for saving my life and being the hero that you are. But I also hated you like you wouldn't believe. It was worse than when we were fighting against each other over the mayor. I would never wish what I went through on anyone, least of all you or Dawn. I love you both way too much to do that to you. If you wanna go on being a martyr, you go ahead. But I want no part of it, and if you expect me to be like you and do something like that, then you can go straight to hell."

"How can you say you love us and tell me to go to hell at the same time?"

"Because it's the way I feel B. If you can't understand that, then maybe what we had was doomed to begin with."

I have no clue what to say to that.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

She stares at me and I stare right back. After a few seconds, Faith gets this weird look on her face.

"What?"

 _Wait, I know that look._

Faith lunges at me, knocking me off my feet and tackles me to the ground as a dagger flies through the air, nearly hitting me. We're both stunned for a minute as Faith lands half on top of me when we hit the dirt. She looks down at me and then I see a vamp behind her. I shove her off me and away from me so I can kick my legs up and hit the vamp square in the stomach, forcing him back long enough for me to get to my feet and into a fighting stance.

I scan the cemetery quickly as Faith copies my actions a split second later. And I notice there are at least 6 vampires surrounding us.

 _I really don't need this right now._

"In the name of our fallen lord Omega, you shall die."

 _Omega?_

I glance over to Faith who is looking back. Faith adds her two cents.

"You do know what happened to him by going against us right?"

With that, the vamps attack us. The first one comes at me, and I side step him, taking him off his feet with a weak left. It's deflected easily and I'm nicked in the chin as I avoid his follow up punch. I turn on my heel into a spinning back kick. He ducks it by a mile and comes back with one of his own, hitting me square in the face.

 _Ow!_

My head snaps back and forth at the hit and it throws me off balance. He follows up with a right and a left that I just barely block. I hear one vamp burst into dust as a third vamp joins the fight and the first one starts to get up. Each of the two vamps in front of me takes a swing of their fist and I back up to avoid them. I hit the vamp on my left in the face and when I go for the right vamp he deflects it and fires back. I step back, just barely missing his knuckles. The vamps spread out, trying to come at me from two sides.

They both rush me as I hear another vamp bites the dust and at the last second I duck, letting their fists collide with their faces.

 _Stupid vamps..._

I pull a stake out of my belt, staking them both in a split second. Then turn to the first vamp that's coming at me, thrusting the sharp wood into his heart, dusting him. I turn as I hear a final dusting. Faith is standing in the graveyard a few feet away from me. She looks over at me.

"Are you all right B?"

I clench my fist at the sound of her voice.

 _Am I all right?_

"Go away Faith..."

She straightens up suddenly and looks around.

"Do you feel that? Someone is watching us B."

I stand still and try to feel whatever Faith is feeling.

"There's nothing there Faith. Now just leave me alone."

"Someone's watching us B."

"No, they aren't. Just leave me alone. Get out of town if you have to. I don't ever wanna see you again. I can handle this on my own."

I start my way out of the cemetery for the 100th time.

"If you really want me to leave then I need to see Joyce first."

I stop for a split second and let out a deep breath, never turning around.

"I'll think about it."

I keep going.

 _I just really want her to go away._

 **End of Chapter 16**


	17. Letting Go

**Mothers Chapter 17**

Letting Go

 **Author's Note:** Thanks very much for the review on my last chapter. It was done by a guest, otherwise I would've reached out directly and show my appreciation. But regardless, I appreciate all the reviews that I get.

 **Buffy's POV**

 _She won't leave me alone._

I walk down the hall toward my mother's hospital room.

 _Every time I go somewhere. Every time I blink or turn around, there she is. I just can't get rid of her. I don't need this crap right now, no matter how much my friends say differently. So what if she saved my life? If she hadn't been there to distract me, I probably would've been able to save myself, whether I was rusty or not. I can't believe what she said last night. She acted like killing Dawn was okay just because it SAVED the WORLD. She's such a bitch._

I step out of the way of a gurney being wheeled the opposite way I am going.

 _The world is a cold and lonely place without Dawn in it. If Dawn hadn't died then my mother might be doing better than she is. Mom would have an extra reason to fight and be healthy. But she doesn't, thanks to Faith. Because of Faith, Dawn is dead and I will never forgive her for what she's done. She can say anything she wants, feel any way she wants, it will never change how I feel... EVER._

I stop just outside my mom's room, taking a deep breath.

 _You can do this. You can do this without bursting into tears, no matter what the news is. Just because the doctor wants to talk with us this morning doesn't mean it's bad news. It could be good news. Maybe they've figured out a way to make my mother better. A way for her to heal and be okay._

I take another deep breath.

 _I won't know until I go in though._

I reach out and push the door open, going inside. My mother immediately looks to me as I come in, a look of concern on her face as she tries to smile.

"Buffy..."

 _It's bad news, I'm almost positive by the way she's look at me. She looks tired._

I go up to my mom's hospital bed and lean over it, hugging her as gently as I can without hurting her.

 _She's been weaker than usual lately. I can't risk hurting her with all my strength._

She hugs me back.

"Hey mom..."

I pull back and smile at her.

"How are you?"

Mom takes a long deep breath, closing her eyes for a few moments as she does.

"I'm a little tired, but otherwise fine."

"Are you comfortable? Can I do anything?"

She smiles at me, reaching out and I take her hand.

"No I'm feeling really comfortable thank you. The nurses here have been really taking good care of me."

 _They shouldn't be the ones taking care of her._

"You're sure?"

"Yes Buffy... now sit down and spend some time with your dear sweet mother."

I pull the chair behind me and sit down, never letting go of my mom.

"So how was the patrolling last night? Did you stake any vamps?"

The image of Faith staking a vamp flashes in my head. I shake it off.

"Uh, yeah... I did. A couple of them actually."

My mom looks at me with a questioning look of concern.

"What is it?"

I try and smile at her before looking away.

"Uh, it's nothing..."

She lets go of my hand and uses her own to pull my chin up to look in her eyes.

"Honey, it's me. It's Mom, whatever it is you can talk to me about it."

I take a long deep breath.

"It's, Faith..."

"Oh..."

"She was watching me on patrol last night."

"I see... how do you know?"

"I could feel her watching me in the graveyard and so I called her on it."

"What happened?"

I look at my mother.

"We fought, what do you think happened?"

She starts trying to look me over for bruises.

"Are you all right? Did you get hurt?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Good, what about Faith?"

It takes me a minutes to answer.

"She's fine... fists were exchanged but it was mostly verbal fighting."

"Oh... I guess I don't have to ask what you two fought about."

"Nope, she tried to make what she did to Dawn okay. It was pathetic."

Mom's hand reaches for mine and squeezes so weakly that I barely even feel it.

"I'm sorry honey. Do you want to talk about it?"

I let my eyes meet my mother's.

"No, it's not important. Whatever she said, I don't think I'll ever understand what she did, and I don't want to."

"Maybe you should try."

 _What?_

"Mom, what?"

"Buffy, you're my daughter and I love you but all this anger and resentment you keep holding in towards Faith is very unhealthy for you. When your father and I broke up and we had filed for divorce, I was very angry with him for a long time. It got so bad that I absolutely refused to speak to him. I made you and Dawn do it for me."

I look down at the hospital floor.

"I remember..."

"But over time I realized that it just wasn't good for me, or my children. Keeping all my anger locked up, it was killing me, and I can see what your anger is doing to you."

I force myself to look at my mother. She reaches out and touches my face again.

"I don't want that for you honey. I don't want you to grow up bitter, angry, and cynical."

 _She's really worried about this._

"I won't mom, I promise. But the situation with you and Dad is completely different from Faith and I. Dad didn't kill Dawn."

"No, but the anger you have for her is the same. Faith hurt you and you don't want to let go of that. I didn't want to either, but I did."

I close my eyes and breath.

"I'm not sure I can."

"It's all right, I have fai..."

She stops in the middle, waiting a moment before smiling sympathetically.

"I believe in you Buffy. I know you'll find a way somehow."

We fall into silence together.

 _This means a lot to her. I don't know that I can just let go like that. Maybe I can... maybe I can't... I do hate being so angry all the time, especially when SHE'S around. I'll never be able to forgive her, but maybe I can be... less angry? I don't know._

Just then the door opens and the doctor comes in.

"Hello ladies... how are you?"

I look to my mother.

"My mom is really tired doctor, what's going on?"

He moves through the room so he can face us both. He stays silent for a few moments before responding.

"Buffy, Joyce... we recently got the latest test results back, I'm afraid the news is not good."

 _I don't believe it._

"How bad is it?"

"I believe it may be necessary to schedule you for surgery as soon as possible."

 _Surgery?_

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this Mrs. Summers, but your weakened artery hasn't healed as I had hoped from the treatment. The less healed portion of your artery has caused terrible strain to your heart. Surgery appears to be the only option left to try."

 _Oh gosh, but..._

"But you said you didn't want to try surgery because it was risky."

"Yes, you said it was dangerous."

"It is dangerous, because of the weak state of your heart there could be complications. Unfortunately though it may be your best chance of survival."

My mother takes a long tired breath.

"Buffy what do you think?"

I look from my mother to the doctor and back to Mom.

"You should do whatever is going to make you better."

She stares at me lovingly for a moment before turning to the doctor.

"When can we do it?"

"The earliest available time is the day after tomorrow at noon. I'll make the arrangements."

He starts to leave.

"Thank you doctor."

Mom turns to me once he's gone.

"It's going to be okay Buffy."

I bite my bottom lip to keep the fear from making me cry.

"I know, I'm just scared..."

"I am too honey, but it'll all work out."

"I hope so."

We fall into silence together for a moment.

"It would probably still be a good idea if one of us made the call."

 _The call?_

"What call?"

It takes me a moment to know what she means.

"Oh..."

I sit back in my chair and avert my eyes. She picks up the phone next to her hospital bed.

"You promised you wouldn't stand in the way."

"I know, I just... I didn't think it would come to this. I was hoping that they wouldn't have to do the surgery."

"So was I Buffy, so was I. But it has, and we have to deal with that. So..."

She holds out the receiver.

"Would you mind?"

I look at the phone in her hand.

 **End of Chapter 17**


	18. Promises

**Mothers Chapter 18**

Promises

 **Faith's POV**

 _Well here I am._

I walk through the automatic doors of the hospital and head towards the right room.

 _I'm here for the main reason I came back to Sunnydale... to see Joyce. I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen when I see her, but it probably has something to do with what might happen when she goes into surgery tomorrow. I hope she makes it through this, but from what Giles said and the bits and pieces I've gotten from the nurses, the outlook isn't so good._

I turn down one of the hallways.

 _What surprised me was getting the call from B. Of all the people to call me, I wouldn't think it would ever be her. Not that the conversation was much of anything, she kept it really quick and simple. After the whole awkward opening moment it was pretty much just 'My mom wants to see you, come by tomorrow'. When I asked why she said 'Because she wants to see you, come by tomorrow or don't come by at all. Are you coming by or not?' And that was that, I said yes and she hung up. So now I'm here, to see a woman who means more to me than my own mother did. I wonder why Buffy was the one to call me, why would she go along with it?_

I look down the hall and there she is, talking to someone. A female someone by the looks of it.

 _Well, they're between me and Joyce so I might as well say hello, no matter how cold the response might be._

I make my way over to them and Buffy notices.

"Hey B..."

Her eyes narrow as she turns to me and her arms cross her chest.

"Hello..."

"Who's your...?"

The brunette she's with turns to me and I can't help but pause and smile.

"... friend?"

I see a short moment of surprise in the friend's look.

 _I really can't blame her._

I look her over and I can't help but notice something familiar about her.

 _She's got dark hair, slightly tanned skin, brown eyes, and a lot of curves. If I didn't know better I'd say I was looking in a mirror, give or take a few years._

I look at Buffy for an answer.

"None of your business."

 _I saw that coming._

I hold out my hand to her friend.

"Hi, I'm Faith..."

She takes my hand and shakes it.

"My name is Fay..."

I almost wanna break out laughing at the sound of her name.

 _Buffy has a sexy brunette friend named Fay?_

"I guess you've got a type eh B?"

She glares at me even more.

"Shut up Faith..."

Fay speaks up.

"Buffy and I aren't together. I'm with someone else and it's serious."

I smile at Buffy.

"I didn't really ask."

B kinda leans back into a defensive posture.

"Don't worry Fay, there's nothing between Faith and I anymore. You don't have to worry about making her jealous."

"That's true... Buffy can get her nookie anywhere she wants."

B just scoffs and rolls her eyes. Fay looks between the two of us.

"Okay well, I'm gonna go back to work now. I hope everything works out with your mom tomorrow."

She leans in and they hug before my freak twin leaves. Buffy turns to me, the glare quickly returning.

"So... you're here then."

"Seems that way doesn't it?"

After a few long moments of silence I move to go past her but she stops me.

"Look, Faith..."

We look each other in the eyes.

"I might be letting you see my mother, but only because she asked. Nothing has changed, I still hate you."

 _She said that with a lot less venom this time._

"No worries B, I'm pretty sure that message got through during our little chat the other night."

She looks toward the door only a few feet from us.

"Just go if you're going."

She steps out of the way. I take a deep breath and glance at her before heading to the door.

 _I guess this is it._

I push the door open and go inside. I make it in a few steps and just stop as I see Joyce. She seems frail and weak as she sits in her hospital bed. I'm not really sure what to say or do as I stand there. She looks at me and smiles.

"Hello Faith..."

I smile back.

"Hey..."

She motions to the chair next to her bed.

"Please, sit down if you like."

I walk over to her and sit down. We fall into silence together.

"So, you wanted to see me about something..."

"Yes, I did. But before I get to that, I want to talk to you about a very important topic."

"What's that?"

"Dawn..."

My eyes drop at the mention of Dawn's name.

"Okay..."

"I want you to know that I'm not holding any resentment towards you when it comes to what happened with Dawn."

 _She isn't?_

I let my eyes meet hers.

"You aren't?"

"No..."

 _I thought for sure she'd hate me._

"You're not angry?"

"I was... upset for a long time. I trust you can understand why."

I take a deep breath.

"Yes..."

"But I knew from the moment you and Buffy told me the truth about my youngest that it may end the way it did. I also knew that it would probably be you who did it. I've managed to make my peace with what happened and with your part in it. You're like a daughter to me and I could no more hate you then I could Buffy or Dawn, no matter what you've done. I didn't want to go into surgery tomorrow without making sure you knew that."

My eyes sting with tears as she continues.

"I do have one question for you though. What happened up on that tower? Why did things turn out the way they did? I know Buffy couldn't get up there because her ankle, but I don't know anything beyond that other than the ritual started somehow. That... and how it ended."

"Right..."

 _She deserves to know. Dawn was her daughter after all._

"I... I was too late. I managed to stop Glory, but when I got up to the top I was too late. Her minions had already started the ritual. I got there and... Dawn's blood was pouring into the sky and the portal was opening."

I can't help but feel bad at the look of pain on Joyce's face.

"Do you want me to stop?"

She takes a deep breath.

"No, please go on. This is important to me, it's one of the reasons I asked you to come back to Sunnydale."

I pause for a moment to make sure she means it.

"Well, as I said, I couldn't get to her in time. She was already bleeding when I got there. I took out the demon minions anyway, and then it was just Dawn and me up there."

I close my eyes as the image of Dawn chained to the end of the tower's plank flashes in my head.

"I went to her at the edge and broke the chains off her wrists and she immediately grabbed me as she cried. I held her tight. We stood there at the end of the tower together, holding each other as we both cried. She said she was sorry, I told her it was okay. I told her that none of this was her fault and that I loved her. I told her that we all loved her and she said she loved us too."

I feel kinda choked up as the memory of holding Dawn at the edge of the tower comes back to me. I can hear her voice in my head.

"She called me Mom..."

There's a moment of silence as we look at each other.

"So I kissed her on the forehead, told her I loved her, and... then I pushed her."

Joyce stares at her feet for a while.

"If only I could've gotten there earlier, been a little faster up the tower, maybe I could've stopped it from happening. But I wasn't. I got there too late. I wish there could've been a way to save her Joyce. I really do, but..."

"There wasn't."

Our eyes meet in silence.

"I know what you're trying to say Faith, and I know that you loved Dawn with all your heart the way a mother should. She knew she was loved at the end... I can take some comfort in that. But I also know that in your heart you know that what you did was the right thing to do, and one of the most important things about being a mother is to follow what your heart tells you to do. I can understand that, and I know that Dawn would understand too."

A noise comes from behind me and I look to see the hospital door swinging slightly to the sound of footsteps. Joyce and I look at each other and we don't have to say anything to know who it was that was standing at the door listening.

"It's all right... she had to hear it eventually."

 _I guess she's right._

"It's good that she heard that. She's been fighting what she knows is true ever since it happened. I've been trying to get her to understand ever since. I hope that hearing it will help her accept it. It's the only way she'll be able to truly move on."

We fall into silence for a few moments. I look down at the floor.

"And that's actually the other reason I asked you to come back to Sunnydale."

 _It is?_

My eyes come back to Joyce's.

"Buffy needs your help."

 _My help?_

"I don't know if you've noticed, but Buffy really doesn't want my help."

"She may not want it, but she does need it. Ever since you left, Buffy has come apart emotionally. Dawn's death and the fact that you were the cause is all she can think about. She keeps trying to move on, but she never does. She's had no place to focus her anger. She's been in a lot of pain for a long time. But she was in denial about it. Since I asked you to come back there's been a change in her. She's had a place to focus her feelings and it's helped her."

"You want me to stick around to make her angry?"

"Not exactly... I think the anger is slowly passing. Having you around has forced her to truly deal with what happened, and as much as it's hurt her, I know that in the end she'll be better for it. She'll be able to let go. Eventually she's going to need someone to talk to and to help her move on. But depending on how the surgery goes tomorrow, it may not be me who will be there for her."

 _What?_

"Joyce, you're gonna be fine. The doctors are gonna fix you up so good you'll be doing back flips in no time."

She smiles sympathetically at me.

"Faith, as much as I want to believe that I'll be fine and everything will be all right. You and I both know that there's a chance I might not."

I look down at the floor as she speaks.

 _As much as I hate it, she could be right._

"I won't leave my daughter with no one to help her when she needs it. Xander, Anya and Giles, they can be there for her on many levels, but I know that Buffy would never completely open up to any of them. She'd always hold something back from them, and that's why I need your help."

"I'm not sure that I can help."

"I know that you can be there for me. You can get to her in a way that no one else can. I've seen it since the moment you came to town, and it only deepened once you fell in love. You share a deep connection, even if it isn't love anymore. You're connected in a way that no one else can understand. I believe that this connection is what can help you get through to Buffy in a way that the others can't."

I feel a frail hand on my shoulder and I just have to look up at her.

"I need to know that she'll be taken care of. Buffy may be strong and self-sufficient, but she does need help from time to time, even if she can't ask for it. That's why I asked you to come. I asked you once to protect my daughter and ever since then, you've been doing that. But now I'm asking for a different reason. I'm asking because I need you to be there for her in case something happens to me. I want you to make that promise to me."

She pauses for a moment.

"But I won't make you do anything you don't want to. I made the same request of Angel before he left for Los Angeles. I know that he will watch out for her any way he can. But I'm asking you because I know that you've shared more with Buffy than Angel did. I'm not trying to guilt you into doing anything you don't want to. I want you to do this because you want to, not because you feel obligated to do it because of my condition."

I take a second and sit back.

 _She has been in a lot of pain. I could see it in her every time we were close, no matter how much she yelled and screamed at me. She does need someone's help. I wouldn't even know where to start though. Not to mention, I don't think she'll want my help. Then again, she didn't want my help the other night, but I did. And this is really important to Joyce. I can't just leave her daughter alone in the world, it wouldn't be right._

I reach out and put my hand on hers.

"All right, I'll help her if I can."

She turns her hand in mine and squeezes it as hard as she can. I barely feel it.

"Thank you."

 **End of Chapter 18**


	19. Mommy

**Mothers Chapter 19**

Mommy

 **Author's Note:** I'm going to be a little busy later in the week so you're getting this chapter early. It's a big one. I look forward to hearing what you think. The next chapter might take a while to post since this will be early.

 **Buffy's POV**

 _They have to make her better. They just have to._

I hug my knees tighter at the thought of what might happen.

 _They need to fix what's wrong with her so she can be okay. I don't know what I'll do if my mom doesn't pull through this. She's all I have left. She's my only family. I can't lose her too._

I look down the hall where the doctors took my mother.

 _I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't make it through this. She's my mom, she raised me. She took care of me when I was sick. She put a band-aid on my knee when I scraped it. She held me when I was cold and warmed me up. She let me sleep in her bed if I heard a noise when I was younger. She taught me all about life and how to deal with it. I can't lose her now. I need her._

I look up at the clock on the wall and watch the seconds tick by.

 _It's been a few hours since they took her to the operating room. What's wrong? Why is it taking so long? Why can't they tell me if she's gonna be all right or not?_

I squeeze my knees together tighter to feel something other than worried.

 _She has to be all right._

I feel a hand gently against my bicep and I turn my head to see Faith looking at me from the next seat. Her face full of pain and concern. I look away from her.

 _I really don't have the strength to deal with her right now. Let her be here if she wants to be. My mother's on an operating table fighting for her life. Everything else means nothing compared to that._

I stare down the hall again, watching the doctors, orderlies and nurses walk back and forth down it.

 _I think Mom wants her here anyway. The way they were talking before... they really do care about each other, and Dawn. I hate to admit it, but I think they really do. Even with what Faith has done, my mom still cares about her. She still looks at Faith like one of her own._

My eyes drift to Faith for a split second who's looking toward the hall herself.

 _And Faith cares about my mom just as much. She came back to Sunnydale to see Mom even though she knew I'd fight her tooth and nail on it._

I let my forehead drop onto my knees.

 _It doesn't change anything between us. There's no going back for me and her. Nothing will ever change what she did._

Giles' hand touches my shoulder before he speaks.

"Buffy..."

I lift my head and follow his line of sight past Xander holding Anya's hand, who's in a wheelchair, to the doctor in operating clothes coming this way. He takes off his cap as he approaches, holding it in front of him and covering the small amount of blood on his front. I let go of my knees and stand up to meet him. Giles, Faith and Xander follow a few seconds later.

 _I can't figure out what he's gonna say. His face is blank._

He stops in front of us.

"Ms. Summers?"

"Yes..."

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but we weren't able to repair the weakness in her artery..."

 _What?_

"We tried our best to fix the problem but she began hemorrhaging during surgery. We did everything we could to stop her from bleeding out but it happened too quickly. I'm sorry..."

 _Oh my god..._

"Is she?"

He lowers his head.

"I don't expect that she'll live more than an hour, if that."

"My... my, m-mom is...?"

"I'm sorry ma'am."

I turn to Giles and put my arms around him tight. He returns the hug thankfully. Tears form in my eyes.

 _Oh god... my mom is gonna die? What am I gonna do? I, I have to see her. If I don't I might not get a chance later._

I pull away from Giles and he lets me go.

"I need to see her. I need to see my mother."

The doctor nods gently.

"Of course, we've moved her into palliative care. Down the corridor on the right, third door on the left. I'll take you."

"Thank you..."

Giles turns to look at me.

"Do you want someone to go with you?"

 _Go with me?_

"No I... I have to do this on my own."

He steps aside and the doctor starts walking backwards. I follow him and he turns around, leading me to my mom. I glance back at my friends and Faith for a moment before keeping up with the doctor. We head down the hall about 10 feet and turn into the corridor.

 _W... what do I say? She was supposed to get better from this operation. They were supposed to make her better from this operation. They were supposed to fix her. I wasn't prepared for this._

I almost knock the doctor over as I run into him.

"I'm, I'm sorry..."

He just looks at me.

"It's all right..."

I look left and right, confused that we're standing still. After a moment he motions to a door on my left.

"Go ahead when you're ready."

 _Oh..._

I wipe away the tears in my eyes. I stare at the door for a moment and bite my lip to hold back the tears.

"Thank you..."

"Of course..."

I move to the door and stop.

"If you need anything..."

I look behind me and interrupt.

"I know... thanks."

He starts leaving as I push the door open and go inside. I stop a few paces in, seeing my mom lying in a bed motionless.

"Mom?"

Another few moments pass where she doesn't move and I panic.

 _Oh my god, did I...?_

I rush to her side and I notice she's still breathing, barely. She turns her head to me slowly and smiles.

"Buffy..."

I feel the tears well up in my eyes again and my vision blurs.

"Mom..."

I sit down in the chair next to the bed.

 _I don't know what to say. She's my mom._

"The doctors told me a few minutes ago. Are you all right?"

 _Am I all right?_

I reach out and take her hand.

"I'm fine, but you..."

I can't finish that sentence.

"It's all right honey."

 _All right?_

"It's not all right. You're, you're..."

I stop.

"It's nobody's fault sweetie."

"They were... supposed to help you. Make you better."

Her breathing gets deeper and longer.

"They did the best they could Buffy. It's okay."

I bite my bottom lip so hard I think I might draw blood but it doesn't stop the tears from flowing.

"I don't want you to die mommy. I love you."

"I know Buffy, I know. I've always known. My darling Buffy, even when you were yelling and screaming at me, even when you were screeching at me for never letting you have any fun, I knew. A mother always knows."

She squeezes my hand weakly.

"I'm sorry about all that. I should've been a better daughter."

"You were the perfect daughter Buffy. I couldn't have asked for a better daughter. You've grown into a beautiful young woman. You're selfless and honest and caring. No mother could be prouder than I am of you..."

The tears start coming harder.

"Mommy..."

"I know you'll be okay because you're a good person with a heart full of love and I know I'll always be in there somewhere, like Dawn is... the way She always will be."

 _She?_

"She still loves you Buffy, and you know in your heart that you feel the same. Maybe it's not the same as it was before, but I know that some part of you still feels her. Trust that, let it guide you to the help you need. I'm not asking you to get back together with her. I would never ask such a thing. All I'm asking is that you try and let her help you if you can. What Faith did, she did not because she wanted to but because she had to. She loved Dawn like a daughter, and Dawn loved her like a mother. She loved you both like parents. That's why she left it for you. As young as she was, she could see what was between you. She wanted one of you to give it to the other one day. Just take it from there."

I look into the eyes of my dying mother.

"I don't know that I can."

"I believe that you can, and so does Dawn. You owe it to Dawn to at least try. If you can't do it for yourself, and you can't do it for me, then do it for Dawn. Do it for the daughter you shared... that you still share. Wherever Dawn is, I know she still loves you both and is hoping that you'll join her one day, and so will I."

"Mommy don't say that."

Her hand reaches up and touches my cheek. I cover her hand with mine.

"Just promise me you'll try."

"I promise Mom. I promise to try, for Dawn, and for you. I promise to try."

"That's all I ask."

I squeeze my eyes shut as I hold her hand to my cheek.

"My precious darling... I love you."

"I love you mommy."

Her hand goes limp in mine and I open my eyes to see her lying motionless on the bed with her eyes closed.

"Mom?"

I check her wrist for a pulse.

"Mom?"

I stand up and put my fingers to her pulse point on her neck.

"Mommy?"

 _Nothing..._

"DOCTOR?"

I wait for a few moments and no one comes. I look to the door.

"SOMEONE GET A DOCTOR!"

A nurse comes in.

"Get a doctor! You have to save my mother."

She comes over to my mother and checks her pulse.

"I already tried that. We need one of those crash cart things. Get one in here and save my mother."

She turns to me.

"I'm sorry ma'am..."

"No..."

"I'm sorry but your mother's gone."

I grab her by the collar and lift her off the floor.

"You have to save her."

"I'm sorry ma'am but there's nothing anyone can do."

I throw her across the room, making her crash into equipment. Some orderlies come in at the sounds of the crashing. They surround me.

"Her mother's gone... she's in shock..."

"SHUT UP! SHE'LL BE FINE! YOU JUST HAVE TO HELP HER!"

One of the orderlies comes up to me cautiously. I grab him, lifting him over my head and throwing him clear over my mommy's bed and into the window before he hits the ground. Another one comes at me and I spin him around, throwing him into the other orderly and sending them both out the door they came in. I look down at the nurse on the floor.

"You have to do something to save my mother..."

Someone comes in.

"She's all I have left..."

"Buffy?"

I look over to see Faith standing a few feet away.

"They won't help her. They won't save my mother."

"I'm sorry Buffy..."

"We, we have to convince them to save her."

"Buffy, there's nothing we can do. She's gone."

The tears flow even harder.

"There has to be..."

She gets closer.

"Has to be something... they, can do... I need her..."

She puts her arms around me and I try and push her away.

"I'm sorry B..."

"There has to be something..."

My knees feel weak and I stop fighting Faith as she holds me.

"I need her. I need my mommy."

"I know B, I'm sorry..."

My legs start to feel like jell-o as they give out and drop to the floor, taking Faith with me.

"I need my mommy..."

 **End of Chapter 19**


	20. Those Left Behind

**Mothers Chapter 20**

Those Left Behind

 **Faith's POV**

 _So this is it. Here we are._

I glance over at B next to me as we stand over the grave. I stare at the headstone, Joyce's headstone.

 _'Joyce Summers_

 _April 17_ _th_ _, 1958- March 26_ _th_ _, 2002_

 _Incredible Mother, Brilliant Woman, Beloved Friend_

 _She meant the world to us'_

 _I can't believe she's gone. Joyce was such an incredible woman. She was loving and honest and tried to help where she could. She accepted people for who they are and loved them anyway. She took me into her home and treated me like her own. I felt like her daughter._

I look at Buffy next to me as she stares motionlessly at her mother's grave.

 _This has to be hell for her. Losing her mother the way she did, knowing that there wasn't any way she could stop it. Her own mother is gone. I know what that's like. She hasn't said much of anything since it happened. A few 'sure's, a couple 'okay's but beyond that she's said nothing. She's been all but catatonic. It's been at least a week since it happened, and still that's all anyone can get out of her. Not that we would try and force her to talk when she doesn't want to._

 _I can't really blame her. She's gone through a lot in the last while. I know a lot of it is my fault. I killed our daughter, and that devastated her. It hurt me too, but Buffy took it especially hard. I could hear the pain in her voice when she yelled at me and I saw it in her eyes when she looked at me. Now to lose her mom on top of that, I'm surprised she's even standing with what she is going through._

She lets out a deep sigh that ends in a sniffle.

 _I'm going to help her with that though. She needs someone to help her, I know that. She needs someone to be there for her when she cries. There haven't been any tears since that 20 minute period after it happened, but I know B well enough to know that it'll come. And I'll be there for her when it does._

I turn my head and watch her as she stands frozen in the same place she's been since the funeral began.

 _She hasn't moved an inch. The most she's done is shift her weight for the last few hours. Last time she moved, the sun was still up in the sky. Now the moon is in the sky and the stars are out. I want to do something for her. I wanna make things better for her somehow, but I'm not really sure what._

I take a deep breath and look at the graves in front of us.

 _Two Summers women laid to rest next to each other. Dawn and Joyce, two people we both love so much. Two people who died long before they should. And we're the ones they left behind. I cried for them at the funeral so many hours ago. I don't know that I could cry anymore, not for a while anyway. Now all I wanna do is help Buffy in some way._

"I'm alone..."

I look to Buffy, who's still staring at her family graves.

"What?"

She takes a long deep breath, a hint of a sob behind it.

"I'm all alone..."

She falls to her knees and the sobs really start and tears roll down her cheeks.

"They're gone."

I kneel down next to her and I can't stand to see her like this.

"I'm all alone, I don't have anyone left."

I reach out and put my hand on hers as it rests on her knee.

"That's not true..."

She turns her head to look at me, eyes red and filled with tears.

"It's not?"

I take her hand in both of mine and squeeze it. I shake my head gently.

"No... you have me."

There's a long moment of silence between us as she stares deep into my eyes through her tears.

"Help me?"

I hold back from crying at the pain in her soul that I can see in her eyes.

"Oh god, please... help me?"

She leans into me and wraps her arms around my neck. After a moment I put my own around her mid-section.

"It'll be all right B..."

She buries her face into my shoulder and lets the tears come. I hold her a little tighter as we sit here in the cemetery next to our family, buried in the ground.

"I can't do this. I can't live like this."

"You can, I know you can B."

"I can't, it... it hurts so bad."

She pulls me to her more, trying desperately to find some sort of comfort in me.

"My whole family is gone. I don't know what to do. It won't stop hurting."

"I know B, I know. You'll find a way to get through it. It might not feel that way now, but it will. I know it will."

She pulls away from me and our eyes meet. Her wrists are hanging off my shoulders, arms bent at the elbow between us. I rest my hands against her sides.

"How?"

I pull my hand off her side and wipe away the tears on her cheek.

"It's hard, I know because I went through it myself a long time ago. It'll take a lot of time, but it will get better. I promise."

She sniffles and her eyes drift down to my lips for a split second.

"I... I don't know if I can."

"You can, and I'm going to be here for you through it all."

There's a silence between us. She leans in and our lips press together as she kisses me. Our kiss slowly deepens as we get lost in the moment. Her hand slides up my shoulders to the back of my neck, pushing our lips together more. Her tongue forces its way into my mouth and I'm suddenly snapped back to reality.

 _We can't do this._

After a moment I reach up and grab her wrists, taking her hand off my head before I pull away.

"Buffy..."

She stares at me, the pain and confusion still in her eyes.

"We can't do this..."

Her face flashes with pain and she nearly breaks out into tears again. I put my hand to the side of her face gently.

"I know it feels good B. I know that it would make us both feel something other than the pain we're both in right now."

She leans forward to kiss me again, I stop her.

"But it's not what you need right now, and it's not what I need either."

B pulls back and sits on her calves. I do the same.

"And we both know it's not what either of us wants, not really."

She breathes deep, the hint of a pain-filled shiver behind it.

"I just wanna make the pain stop."

I try for a smile even though I don't feel it.

"It will, B, I promise. It will take a lot of time. It won't happen all at once, but it will happen, and I'll be here for you through it all... but not like that."

I take her hand again. She looks down at our hands. We sit there in silence together for a long time.

"How about I take you home?"

Our eyes meet and she nods at me.

"Okay..."

I stand up slowly and help her up. I put my arm around her shoulders as we leave the graveyard.

 _Things will get better, I don't know how or when, but they will. They have to._

 **End of Chapter 20**


	21. Grief

**Mothers Chapter 21**

Grief

 **Buffy's POV**

 _It just won't stop._

I make my way up the driveway, Faith staying with me, step for step.

 _I can't stop this horrible pain in my chest. My whole world is gone. My mom, my sister, my daughter... they're gone. They're all gone and they aren't coming back. I have nothing left. I don't know what to do. I have no reason to go on, no reason to see tomorrow, nothing to look forward to. What do I do? Where do I go from here?_

I look up at the front door of my house as we go up the steps and stop.

 _And it is MY house too. I'm the only one living here now, no one else to give it life, no one to make it bright and vibrant. There's no one else to make it a home except me, and I don't know that I can do that._

I feel a hand gently on my shoulder and I turn my head to lock eyes with Faith.

"Do you want me to get the door?"

"Oh uh..."

I reach down into my pants right pocket.

"No I..."

I hook my finger through the key ring and try to take them out. They get caught on something so I pull harder.

"I can... I can get..."

I try even harder but they still won't come.

"I'll GET..."

Faith's other hand wraps itself gently around my wrist, stopping me.

"B..."

I stop struggling with my keys as our eyes meet again. She lets go of my wrist and turns up her palm to make her offer.

"I can do it if you want."

I push my wrist into my pocket more and unhook my keys from the piece of string they were caught on and then pull them out, handing them to Faith. She immediately goes to the door and unlocks it. I move inside as she opens the door.

 _Thank god for Faith._

I stop in the main hall and look around at all the things I now own and no one else.

 _It feels strange being grateful that she's here. It wasn't more than a couple days ago that I wanted to beat her to a bloody pulp for coming anywhere near me. It wasn't long ago that I wanted her to leave town, again, and never come back. But now I find that I want her here. I feel like... I need her here. She took care of most of the funeral arrangements for me along with Giles and Xander._

 _They asked my opinion on different things, the flowers, the casket, where to bury her, but most of the other stuff I left to them. I just... couldn't do it. I couldn't plan my own mother's funeral. It doesn't matter if they had waited 6 days or 6 months. I just couldn't do it. She was my mother and she's gone. I can't think about much of anything beyond that. I've lost the only family I have left._

I hear keys being thrown onto the wooden table next to the door and Faith comes up next to me. I let out an exhausted sigh and I close my eyes.

"I'm tired."

"Well, maybe you should go to bed. Let's take you upstairs."

She puts her arm over my shoulders gently and I start my way to the stairs.

 _What am I gonna do without my mom? She always knew what to do. She always knew what to say or do to make everything better. She always knew how to make me feel like the world wasn't ending. She did so much for me and now she's gone. I don't think I know what to do without her around to help._

We make our way up the stairs to the second floor. To the three empty rooms upstairs, two of which could be empty forever.

 _This house used to be so full of happiness. There used to be laughter and giggles and so many fun moments in this place. I remember moments of beautiful ecstasy and pleasure that happened in this place. Moments that me and my mom and Dawn and Faith all made together, but now all I see is death._

We get to the top of the stairs and head to my room.

 _The people in this house that made it such a happy place are gone. Now there's just me and an empty house... and Faith. I don't know if I could survive tonight without her here. I could never turn to Giles or Xander this way. I just wouldn't feel right taking comfort in their arms. Yet for some reason it feels right in hers. I'm not sure why. I guess maybe my mother was right. She was always right about most things when it came to me, even when I didn't want her to be right. I feel safe with Faith. I don't know why. After everything that's happened, I shouldn't. I should be making her go away so I can be alone. But I don't want to be alone. I feel alone already, even with her here._

We walk into my room and Faith stops as I head straight for my bed. I climb in and pull the covers over me, not even taking my clothes off as I curl up into a ball. I look at her standing a few feet away, watching me.

"Can I get you anything?"

 _Anything?_

After a moment I just shake my head at her.

"Okay..."

She turns around to leave and I feel like a knife is stabbed through my heart and I'm gonna cry.

 _I don't wanna be alone tonight._

"I'll be downstairs if you..."

"Faith?"

She faces me again.

"Yeah?"

I move over on the bed to make room for her.

"Would you... would you stay here with me... tonight?"

It takes a second for her to decide.

"Sure..."

She walks over to the desk and grabs the chair, bringing it over.

"No, I..."

We look at each other for a moment as I speak.

"I... I need to know... that I'm not alone."

I reach out and take her hand in mine, my eyes never leaving hers.

"You'll never be alone B, I'll be here."

There's a silence between us as I look at her with blurry eyes. I feel like I'm going to choke if she doesn't help me.

"I... I need to feel it."

Another long moment of silence passes.

"Please..."

After a few more moments, she squeezes my hand.

"Okay..."

She climbs into bed, on top of the covers. I put my arms around her and hold her close to me as we lie here together in my bed. I start to feel myself cry and she holds me tighter.

 _I don't want to feel alone._

 **End of Chapter 21**


	22. Our Daughter Who Art in Heaven

**Mothers Chapter 22**

Our Daughter Who Art in Heaven

 **Author's Note:** So, I've started putting my stuff up on Wattpad under the same name on this site, or you can also look for me by searching for **AndrewHeard8**  
I've started a contest on it called "Buffy's Happy Ending" in celebration of Season 12 on the comics. You can participate if you want. Let me know. Now on with the story.

* * *

 **Faith's POV**

The light of the sun shines on my face through the window, waking me up. I open my eyes and I see the ceiling I never thought I'd wake up to see again. I take a deep breath and stretch out in bed, quickly realizing that B isn't next to me. I sit up slowly and look around the room, knowing I won't find her here.

 _I hope she's all right. Last night was really hard on her. She cried until at least 2am. I cried more than a few times myself. Just holding her and feeling her cry was too much for me. It's probably best we both take it easy for a while. I should go find out what she's doing, make sure she's all right._

I get up out of bed, straightening out my clothes and running a hand through my hair.

 _I should probably go back to my motel room and change into some clean clothes. I want to be sure B's all right first though._

I start to leave the room but I notice that the drawer in the nightstand is open. I close it and then leave. I make my way down the stairs and I hear a soft crash from the kitchen followed by Buffy's voice.

"Damn it!"

I walk towards the kitchen and the smell of eggs cooking hits me. I enter the kitchen and stop a couple steps in as I see B at the stove, cooking. I stand there for a few moments, not sure what to say. The only thing that comes to mind is...

"Hey..."

She stops what she's doing and our eyes meet for a while. B goes back to cooking before responding.

"Hey..."

"You know, you don't have to cook B."

She keeps on cooking throughout.

"I know I don't but... I just, I need to focus on... something else right now."

I take a deep breath, hearing her voice almost crack every time she pauses.

"If I don't I might break into tears. I don't really want to cry right now."

"B, if you need to cry then just let it out. I've been through this with my own mom. Trust me... it's better to just let it out."

"No I..."

She pauses and closes her eyes for a second.

"Now isn't the time to cry. There are other things that are more important. It'll happen eventually, I know that. I'll cry sooner or later, but not now. I'm all cried out after last night."

I can see she wants to leave it at that for now as she goes back to cooking on the stove.

"All right..."

I walk over and sit in the first seat at the breakfast bar.

"What are you having?"

"Eggs... I, I made one for you, if you want one that is."

 _She made me some breakfast?_

"You didn't have to do that B."

She shakes the pan gently to check if it's ready.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. It's the least I can do after what you did for me last night. Do you want sunny-side up or over easy?"

I don't really say anything right away and she looks back at me. I can see the sadness in her eyes is still there and some anger but the confusion is less than it was last night.

"Sunny-side up if you don't mind."

She turns to the stove and steps left, opening a cupboard and taking out two plates. Buffy takes the pan off the stove and serves up an egg on each plate just as the toaster pops out two pieces of toast. She takes both plates after putting the toast on them over to the breakfast bar and sets one in front of me while setting the other across from me on the side with no chairs and standing there.

"B, you should sit down."

I go to get up but she puts up a hand.

"No it's okay. I don't want to sit down."

I watch her for a second to make sure she means it and then settle back down in my seat. We stare down at our breakfasts in front of us.

 _I don't really know what to say. I dealt with my mother's death all on my own, and I didn't handle it particularly well. I have no idea how I'm gonna help her deal with hers. All I know is I'm gonna try._

We sit in silence for a long time before Buffy finally breaks it.

"I can't forgive you."

I look at B, who's staring right back.

"I, I don't know what you thought last night was, but there is no way I can ever forgive you after what you've done."

I take a deep breath.

"So we're having this talk are we?"

She doesn't respond and we just stare at each other for a moment.

"Look, B, I don't want forgiveness for what I did. I'm not looking for it from you or anyone else."

I take a longer deep breath this time.

"I killed our daughter. I killed her and I'm gonna have to live with that for the rest of my life. That's all I can really do. Live with it and... well, that's it. Just try and live with it. It's taken me a long time and it's not something that's been easy for me, but I think I've been able to come to a point where I think I just might be able to. Forgiveness just doesn't enter into it. So I'm not looking for forgiveness. I'm not asking for it, and I don't expect it from anyone... least of all you. In the end, all that really matters is if I can live with myself."

B looks down at her breakfast for a split second.

"I know..."

 _She knows?_

"You know?"

She nods silently.

"It's really the only thing either of us can do isn't it? Just live with it?"

I don't say anything.

"Ever since it happened, I've been trying not to live with it. I've been in so much pain that I couldn't think straight. I felt the need to lash out at every one and every thing I could, but most of all at you. But now... after my mom, I know that I have to find a way to..."

She pauses for a moment as she chokes back the tears forming in her eyes.

"A way to let go of all the pain and anger I feel. I can't live with all this inside me. I have to let it go. But I'm scared, and I don't know if I can. I've spent so long trying to fight everything around me, fighting what I think and I feel and everyone who tried to tell me that I should stop fighting... that I'm not sure I'd recognize myself if I did let it all go. I have to try though, because it's what my mom would want. She would want me to grieve for her and then move on."

We sit in silence for a moment, not saying anything. After a while, B reaches down and takes something out of her pocket. She takes a deep breath.

"And I know Dawn would want the same thing, because of this..."

She holds out a small black box to me. I look at it for a few moments before I reach out and take it.

"What is it?"

"It's something our daughter left, for us. Mom gave it to me after we buried Dawn. Open it..."

I slowly open the box. For some reason it feels like the most fragile thing in the world and I might break it if it opens too quickly. Inside is a small gold ring with an embedded diamond in the centre... an engagement ring. I stare at it.

"Mom said that Dawn asked her to get it for us back when we were fighting over the fact that I wouldn't tell you the truth about her. Dawn figured that since we were fighting about her, even though she didn't know why, if she could show us that the only thing she wants is for us to be happy, we might stop fighting and work things out. After she found out the truth about Dawn, my mom took Dawn to a jewelry store and helped her pick one out."

 _Dawnie..._

"Dawn would've wanted us to work things out somehow. She loved us and wanted us to be happy. The ring is a symbol of what's really important. It's a symbol of what we once shared. That's what that ring means, and that's why I'm giving it to you."

I look up at B and her eyes fall to the table.

"We're not... I don't... I'm not asking you to take me back. That's not what this means. What we had is over and I don't want you that way anymore. I don't want you back. You were right about what we had not being real love. It wasn't, I should've learned that lesson from what happened between Angel and me. The truth is I have no idea what love really is, and I can't be with anyone until I'm ready to try and figure it out. Which I'm not. I'm sorry if..."

I hold up my free hand, the other firmly gripping the ring box, cutting her off.

"Buffy, it's okay... even if I wanted us to get back together, which I don't, neither of us is in any condition to be in a relationship right now. We have too much history to be together in that way. We'd both end up hurting each other again. You're right, what we had is over. Besides, I can't say that I know what real love is either, all I know is what it's not. I have no idea what it's supposed to feel like, and if I did, right now I wouldn't trust myself to recognize it."

The room falls silent for a few moments.

"Okay... then maybe we could try and be friends."

Our eyes meet.

"I'd like that B."

After staring at it through the silence, I close the ring box and reach to hand it back to her. She steps back.

"No, you can keep that."

I look at her, a little confused.

 _I thought for sure she'd want this back._

"I gave that to you as a peace offering. I want you to have it. It's my way of showing you that I want us to put our past behind us. She wasn't just my daughter, she was my sister. I have 14 years worth of memories to remember who she was. Compared to me you only knew her for a split second. And you knew she was your daughter for even less time thanks to me. I want you to have something that you can remember her by. Something good..."

After a second I set it down next to me on the table about 3 feet from my plate.

"Thank you..."

She smiles weakly at me and I do my best to smile back.

"You're welcome."

We sit there in silence together for a while before she looks down at her plate.

"We should eat before it gets cold."

"Yeah..."

I pick up my fork.

 **End of Chapter 22**


	23. Rehab

**Mothers Chapter 23**

Rehab

 **Buffy's POV**

 _God this is hard._

I take a deep breath as I sit next to Faith in the rehab center of the hospital, waiting for Anya and Xander.

 _It's not quite as hard as it was a couple weeks ago after my mom's funeral, but I'm dealing. Those first few days, it was horrible. Just getting through the next minute knowing my family is gone, was so hard I wanted to cry all the time. But it doesn't hurt quite so bad anymore. I can actually get through a day without falling apart and crying 6 or 7 times. It's down to like one or two times a day now. I almost feel halfway normal._

I glance at Faith briefly and she catches me.

"Everything all right B?"

I attempt to smile at her, failing like I have so many times over the past couple of weeks.

"Yeah, I think so."

I go back to waiting for Xander and the doctors to bring Anya down for rehab, and so does she.

 _Faith has been such a big help to me over the past few weeks. If I needed to talk, she was there. If I needed to cry, she was there. If I just needed to do something other than sit at home and veg, we went out and did stuff. She really has been an incredible friend. I feel like I can confide in her about anything, the way I used to with Willow. And the same goes for Faith. About a week ago I told her that if she ever wants to talk about what she's thinking or feeling or whatever, I wanna try and give a little back._

 _After all, she got Giles to convince The Council to give me enough money to live off of until I can figure out what I wanna do with my life, cause honestly, right now I can't even think about the rest of my life. It's too hard to even think about life without my mom and Dawn here with me. All I want right now is to be here for Anya and Xander while Anya has her first walking rehab session. Xander said the doctors were so impressed with how her rehab was going that they wanted her to start learning to walk again today. So that's why we're here, to be here for Anya and support her. If they ever get here that is._

I look over at Faith.

"Xander said 3 o'clock didn't he?"

She glances at the clock on the wall.

"Yeah he did. They must be late."

I get up to find out.

"I'm gonna go see if they moved it or rescheduled it or something."

"All right..."

I make my way to the automatic doors that lead to the rest of the hospital, only to be stopped by the sight of Xander wheeling Anya this way. The automatic doors slide open at my presence and Xander, Anya, and two doctors cross the distance to walk through. I move out of the way as they come into the rehab center. Xander smiles at me as he passes.

"Hey there, thanks Buffy."

"No problem, just call me Buffy the Door Opener."

Anya decides to speak up as the doctors make their way over to the reception center to check Anya in.

"Of course... you're saving the world from the terror of automatic doors that open on their own, much better than stopping the apocalypse."

Xander and I exchange a knowing look. Faith comes up to join the conversation.

"Hey Anya, how's it going?"

Anya looks up at Faith.

"I'm fine, except for not being able to walk."

Xander leans down from behind her wheelchair.

"Well, hopefully that will all start to change as of today."

"It better, this whole not walking thing is overrated. Sure I get waited on hand and foot even though I can't feel my feet, but Giles won't let me handle the money at the magic box until I get better."

 _Of course..._

"You mean work there honey."

Anya turns her head to look up at her boyfriend.

"No I meant handling the money."

After a brief moment Xander smiles at his ex-vengeance demon and they kiss.

 _It's kind of romantic._

The rehab doctors come back over to us.

"We can begin any time you like."

"Good..."

Anya grabs the armrests of her wheelchair and tries to stand up. Xander puts his hands on her shoulders to stop her.

"Whoa, hold on there shnookums, we have to do this by the book. Let's go over to the parallel bars and get started."

Anya settles back down in her seat and huffs in frustration.

"Fine..."

Xander smiles at both Faith and I. The rehab doctors move out of Anya's way and Xander wheels her over to the training bars. Faith looks over at me and we exchange glances. I decide to tempt fate.

"You can do this Anya."

She looks at me as she's about to stand and start her rehabilitation.

"Of course I can do it. It's just walking. I used to do it all the time."

 _I knew I shouldn't have said anything._

"Maybe we should just sit down and watch B."

 _Probably a good call._

I walk back over to the couch we were sitting on and sit down, Faith's joins me. We watch as Anya slowly gets up from her wheelchair and begins learning to walk again.

 _I guess we're all trying to remember how to walk in one way or another. Anya's doing it literally and Xander's doing his best to help, while the rest of us are doing it figuratively. I'm trying everything I can to walk through life without my mom to guide me or my family to turn to when things get rough. I need to find my footing in the world somehow and get myself back on track. It's hard, and I hate it, but I know I have to. It's what my mom and Dawn would want... and it's what I want._

 _Faith and I are trying our best to figure out a way to fit into each other's lives again. Trying to find a way to build something different out of what we used to have. We may have been spending a lot of time together but it's still a little unsettling being around her. Seeing the face of the woman who was once the love of my life, the face of the one I would've given my life for, the one I did give my life for once upon a time, and worst of all the woman who killed my sister and daughter in a single move. It's hard to look at her some times. It's hard knowing that when she's been so great to me through everything that's happened. I'm dealing with it though... for Dawn's sake. Dawn would've wanted it that way. Our daughter would've wanted it that way. She would've wanted us to be happy in whatever way that means. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that she loved us, and we loved her just the same. She meant the world to both of us and that much will never change._

 _I hope everything goes okay when we're out patrolling together tonight. It's my first patrol since my mom died. I'm not sure I'll be able to focus enough to do much but I have to do something other than sit around. I've been doing that too much the past couple days and I need to get out and do something different._

I sit back and watch as Anya makes her way past the halfway mark of the parallel bars.

 _Things are going to be okay I think, no matter how hard it might be._

 **End of Chapter 23**


	24. Learning to be Okay

**Mothers Chapter 24**

Learning to be okay

 **Faith's POV**

 _This is really hard._

I move to avoid a headstone as B and I walk through the graveyard on patrol.

 _We've been spending a lot of time together over the past few weeks, and it's times like these that make it hard. Walking through the graveyard, I can't help but think that my daughter is buried a couple blocks east of here in another cemetery. It's hard knowing that, and even if I can live with what I did, it's still hard to do. It hurts to know that she's gone. And it can be even worse when B and I spend time together. Most of the time, things are okay with us. We can do stuff like watch TV or movies and just spend time with each other. It's really nice just being regular people together. But every so often something happens that reminds one or both of us of Dawn and things get tense between us._

Buffy avoids her own headstone like I did a minute ago and I feel the chain around my neck move as I swerve away from her to stay in step. I grab the chain under my shirt and feel the ring hanging off it.

 _I put Dawn's ring on a chain so I could carry it wherever I go. So I could have a piece of our daughter wherever I go. It makes the awkwardness feel worthwhile, knowing that wherever Dawn is, she loves us and wants us to be okay. It's a comfort in a lot of ways. I'll be thinking about Dawn or one of those awkward moments between us will happen and I just feel the need to hold it in my hand to feel better._

I let go of the ring as we continue through the cemetery.

 _It probably won't ever be used in the way that Dawn intended it to be used though. Dawn got us an engagement ring because she thought that us getting married would be the ultimate expression of our love. But after everything that's happened, there isn't really a love to express, and I would never give this to anyone else. It would destroy the memory of our daughter and the love B and I used to share. I would never do that to either of them. I'd like to fall in love again. I'd like to find someone to love some day, but I'd never use her ring on anyone I might meet. I would never do anything to hurt the memory of Dawn._

I look around the cemetery, not seeing anything.

 _I don't think we've seen a whole vampire all night. It's weird._

"Looks like the cemetery's pretty dead tonight B..."

She rolls her eyes and kinda smiles at me.

"It's a cemetery Faith, of course it's dead."

I smile back and we fall into silence together for a few moments as we continue through the graveyard. She gets this thoughtful look on her face.

"Is everything okay?"

She looks to me at my question.

"Yeah, I guess."

She forces herself to smile before going back to scanning the area.

"All right, I just asked because we haven't really talked in a couple of days and I wanted to make sure that everything was fine."

"It is..."

After a few moments, she continues.

"I'm just not sure it should be."

I watch her as her head drops and she stares at the ground in front of her while we walk.

"What do you mean?"

She takes a deep breath.

"My mom is gone."

She pauses and I give her the time to say what she wants.

"There's a lot of things I wish I could've done with her before she died. I told you about a lot of them, remember?"

She looks over at me for a split second and I nod.

"But, I'm starting to feel like... like I can be okay with not doing them with her. It's like... it's okay that she's gone and... I feel horrible about it."

I reach over and stop our patrol. She looks at me, upset, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"B..."

"She's my mom Faith. How can I be okay with the fact that she's gone?"

 _I'm not really sure what to say to that. I want to say something but I don't know what. We've spent so much time together and talked about so much, and still I don't know how to help her when she needs it._

"If you feel that bad about it, why don't we help you go and be with her?"

My head snaps to the right to the vamp who just spoke and I see he's got at least 5 friends with him.

"Yeah, then you can ask her yourself."

B and I look left and another six vamps are coming at us from that direction. Two more voices come from behind us, both part of a single group of 6.

"I like that plan."

"Me too..."

I look at B as they surround us. She's wiping the tears from her eyes and trying to get into slayer mode.

 _This is EXACTLY what we needed right now._

I scan the perimeter to see if any more vamps are coming.

 _It doesn't look like it._

"Don't talk about my mother that way."

My eyes drift to B as she speaks rather shakily. She pulls out a stake and I decide to do the same, given the situation.

"Fine, tell us where she's buried and we'll go dig her up and play with her a bit. Make it a happy family reunion."

I can tell by the look on B's face that they just said the wrong thing. The tears are coming back but I can see a whole lot of anger behind them. I grip my stake tightly.

 _I'm not exactly happy about what they're saying myself._

"You're gonna pay for that."

 _You tell 'em B._

"We'll see..."

The vamps from the right come at us, but the rest of them hang back.

 _What's up with that?_

The first vamp comes at me and I duck the wide swing he throws. I fire back with a gut shot that sends him stumbling back a few steps as a second vamp moves in. I catch a glimpse of B sidestepping a charging vamp as I use a spin kick to take vamp #2 off his feet. As soon as I'm upright again, vamp #1 attacks me again. I dodge the first two punches but the third one connects with my jaw. I shake it off quick enough to block the next two which leaves his midsection wide open and I plunge my stake deep into his heart.

He explodes into dust and I immediately turn to vamp #2 who is just getting up. The sound of a vamp turning to dust hits my ears as I swing my leg out into a side kick and he catches it in mid air. He smiles at me like he's already won the fight, but I can feel a vamp coming up behind me and twist myself at the last second by the waist. The vamp behind me is caught off guard as I drive the stake into his chest and he explodes. As the dust scatters I can see Buffy staking another vamp. I notice that the other vamps are still standing around when I twist back, my foot still in his hands.

He lifts my leg and I brace myself for a back flip but instead of trying to flip me, he steps forward. It throws me off balance, sending me hard to the ground.

 _Ow!_

His grip loosens as I hit and after I recover I do a half break dance to scissor kick his legs out from under him. I scramble on top of him while he's trying to come back from the pain and stake him. I turn around and get up after watching vamp #2 become dust. B finishes off her last vamp and we move to protect each other as we face off against the rest of them who still haven't moved. We stand back to back and scan the rest of the vampires surrounding us. I hear B sniffle and see her wipe her eyes out of the corner of my eye.

"You okay?"

She nods her head.

"Yeah, I just... really need to kick some undead ass."

I look at our surroundings.

"I don't think that'll be a problem."

The leader of one of the other groups of six steps forward.

"In the name of Omega, you must die."

 _Not this again._

Six more of them come at us.

 _Why aren't more of them attacking at once? I don't mind this many but it doesn't make sense as far as a strategy._

B and I move away from each other so we have room to fight. Two vamps spread out to either side of me and I get into a fighting stance to fend them both off. They come at me, full speed. I wait till they're close and then leap forward into a rolling somersault, avoiding their grasp. I'm on my feet and facing them in seconds. Before they can react I attack them both, landing a flurry of punches while going back and forth between them with each one that connects. After getting in a few good hits they start to block or dodge my fists so I back up.

I see B knock down one of her vamps and he lands not too far from the vamp on my left. I rush my left vamp and deliver a swift kick to his gut, sending him toppling over his fallen counterpart. I turn my attention to my other vampire attacker as he comes forward. He throws the first four punches which I block quickly but the fifth comes out of nowhere and I stumble backwards, holding my gut to brace the pain. I fire back with a flurry of my own fists, ending it with a spinning back fist to the face.

I follow up with a roundhouse kick that leaves him seriously dazed. An uppercut to his chin opens him up to the stake I thrust deep into his heart. Once he's a pile of dust I turn to the other vampire I was dealing with. He and his friend are up and into attack mode. I hear the sounds of two vamps dusting as I hit the first to come at me with a side kick to the face, taking him off his feet. I get close enough to the fallen vamp to raise my stake but his buddy tries to save him. He sends me back a few steps with a backhanded uppercut to the face when I lean forward to stake his friend.

I back up quickly to regroup and let him attack first. He swings his fists at me hard and fast, but I manage to duck and weave my way out of his reach. Deflecting a pair of punches with my open palm, I start to fight back.

 _Come on Faith, you can do this._

My fists connect with his twisted face repeatedly and it throws him off balance enough for me to jam something pointy and wooden into his chest. I let the dust fall while I listen to the sound of another vamp dusting at B's hands. As the final vamp begins to stand I take a few deep breaths to focus and then hurl my stake at him, hitting him square in the heart. B and I come back together as we face the remaining six vamps to attack us. Both of our breathing has become heavy but I can hear the need to cry in Buffy's broken breaths.

"You wanna bail? I think I can hold them off for a minute."

She shakes her head.

"Not after what they said about digging up my mom. I want them gone."

She pulls out a new stake and holds it in front of her.

 _I guess that's what we'll do then._

I take one of my own stakes out from under my jacket and beckon them forward with my free hand.

"Come on..."

One of them heads straight at me while the others spread out. I keep what little distance I can between us but he uses a headstone as a springboard and lunges at me. He comes down onto me and I force the momentum in my favor. I raise my feet to me then into his stomach and catapult him over a few graves. I get up quickly. B's a couple feet over dealing with two vamps while the other 3 focus on me. I move to the vamp in the middle but he decides to strike and I'm smacked in the jaw by a fist.

 _Damn it!_

I deflect the follow up punch and fire back with my own. His two friends on either side of me attack to protect him but I do a back flip to avoid their fists and my feet kick out mid flip, hitting the middle vamp in his face. As soon as I'm upright again I launch my stake into the middle one's chest and he explodes into dust. I take out another stake as the two remaining vamps prepare to attack. The vamp I threw away earlier makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as he comes up behind me. A pair of arms try to grab me but I catch them and do a half turn to hit him with an elbow to the stomach followed fast by a back fist to the face. While he's dazed, I grab him by the right arm at the shoulder and wrist, tossing him head first into one of the two remaining vamps.

With those two in a heap on the ground, I turn my attention to the only one of the three still standing. We exchange fists and I can hear the sound of a vamp turning to dust behind me. I try for a roundhouse kick but he jumps back, out of reach. He closes the gap again quickly and comes at me with a pair of punches and a side kick. I grab his foot to avoid the impact with my ribs and twist it at the ankle hard, nearly breaking it. He screams at the pain in his ankle and it only gets worse when he tries to stand on it out of habit. I hit him with a few more jabs to the face and ribs which takes him off his feet. Wasting no time, I crouch down next to him and stake him.

I get up and turn to the last two vamps that are only now getting up. The first one faces off against me as the other gets up. I lead with a threesome of punches, two of which connect and add a spinning roundhouse on the end. He's off his feet quickly and I bury my stake in his ribs. I hear another vamp dusting as I stand up.

Just as I look to the final vamp to attack us I see a stake go flying through the air and into his chest, exploding him. I follow where the stake came from and my eyes fall on B, frozen at the end of her throw a few feet away. I look over the cemetery to make sure there's no one else and then close the gap between us.

"Buffy?"

She's still frozen in place. Her breathing keeps getting heavier, trying desperately to keep her tears in. I touch her shoulder and it snaps her out of her freeze. She immediately turns to me and wraps her arms around me, breaking into tears. I hold her to me as she buries her face in my shoulder.

"Mommy..."

She squeezes me to her harder and I just hold her.

 _I'm not really sure what else I can do. She's still in a lot of pain, no matter how much better she might be doing. The pain doesn't ever go away, but you learn to live with it. I just wish I could do more to help her through it all._

I look around and move her over to the nearest tombstone.

"Let's sit down."

Buffy sits down on the edge and I join her.

"Talk to me B..."

She stares at her feet for a few moments.

"I... I hate that I feel this way."

"What way?"

She breathes deep.

"Like it's all right that she's gone. I shouldn't feel this way."

"Shouldn't you?"

"No I... she was my mom Faith. I... god I'm even talking about her in the past tense now."

She leans forward, her face falling into her hands.

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

I put my hand on her shoulder.

"There's nothing wrong with you B."

She looks up at me for a second before looking down at the ground.

"Then why do I feel this way? I've lost my mom, my sister, and my daughter... both within a matter of months of each other. How can I just, be okay with that?"

"But you're not okay with it Buffy. If you were you wouldn't feel so bad about being okay with the fact that they're gone. You wouldn't have spent the last few weeks in so much pain."

She wipes the tears out of her eyes.

"I guess. I just, I feel like I should..."

"Spend the rest of your life grieving for them?"

We fall into silence together as she doesn't respond to my question.

"Look, you said it yourself a couple weeks ago. Your mom wouldn't want you to spend your life crying for her, and neither would Dawn. They'd want you to find a way to move on and be happy, and that's what you're doing. You're doing what they would want you to do. You shouldn't feel bad about that."

She sniffles a little and then looks at me.

"I can't help it. They meant so much to me."

I smile.

"I know B, they meant a lot to me too. It's all right to feel happy though. It's what they would've wanted."

She smiles through her sad look.

"You're right... it is what they would've wanted. It's just hard."

"I get it."

I stand up and face her after a few silent moments.

"You know, I think I've had enough action for one night, how about you?"

She gets up next to me and smiles again.

"A couple nights, at least..."

 _We should try and do something fun._

I put my arm over her shoulders.

"Hey, let's do something fun eh?"

"I could do with some fun. What did you have in mind?"

We start walking to leave the cemetery.

"Hmm... how about we rent some movies, maybe order some pizza?"

"Sounds like fun to me."

"That's kinda the point B."

She forces a chuckle. We get about 10 feet from leaving the cemetery and all of the sudden the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

 _What the hell is that?_

I stop and B looks at me with a questioning look.

"What is it?"

"You feel that?"

She freezes and tries to feel it.

"I think so, can't figure out what it is though."

"Neither can I. It feels like the same thing I felt the last time we were attacked."

"You think there was more of them, maybe a couple watching the fight?"

"No, it's different."

I look around and scan the area. I get this really bad feeling coming from a crypt a few feet to our right.

"I think they're behind that crypt."

B pulls out a stake and we break apart.

"Let's go."

 _My thoughts exactly B._

We make our way over to the crypt, slowly at first but the closer we get the quicker we walk. As we get to one end, we both exchange a look and take off quickly to the other side. The thing that was watching us tries to take off as I get around the crypt but I grab it and shove it against the back of the crypt. I grab it by the throat as B comes around the corner. I look at whatever's been watching us.

 _Oh my god!_

"MOM!?"

 **End of Chapter 24**


	25. Return

**Mothers Chapter 25**

Return

 **Buffy's POV**

I turn the corner to catch our stalker just as Faith slams them against the wall of the crypt. She grabs what I think is a person by the throat to keep them at bay. Whatever it is looks like an older woman with brown hair and is about a foot taller than Faith. I stop as I see Faith's eyes go wide at the sight of the person in front of her.

"MOM!?"

 _What? Did she say mom? She thinks this person is her mom?_

I look back and forth between them.

 _There is a little bit of a resemblance I guess. They have the same nose, the same eyes, and I think the same cheekbones._

Faith is just staring right at her with a blank expression.

"Faith?"

 _I don't really know what else to say._

All of the sudden, Faith's look turns ice cold and she pulls out a stake from her jacket. I close the gap between us as she raises the stake to stab her mother. The woman puts up her hands in fear.

"Faith, sweetheart I'm sorry..."

I grab Faith by the wrist as she's about to strike. She looks at me like I've gone nuts.

"What are you doing B?"

 _What am I doing?_

"I was gonna ask you the same question. You just called this woman your mom."

"That's because whatever this thing is, it looks like her."

"I'm sorry Faith... I didn't want it to happen like this."

Faith lets go of her mother's neck but keeps her stake at eye level to attack if she has to.

"Happen like what?"

"Our meeting again... I wanted it to go better, but he said you spent a lot of time in cemeteries and I had to know why. What was going on with those people and what happened to them?"

Faith and I look at each other for a second. After a second Faith steps forward, thrusting her forearm against her mother's throat and grips her stake tighter.

"None of your business, and who is HE exactly?"

This woman is obviously scared of the way Faith's acting towards her.

 _I can see it on her face. Faith shouldn't be treating her mom like this._

"I... after so many years I, I wanted to know if you were okay. I h-hired a private detective to track you down, he told me where to find you and I came to talk."

 _She came looking for Faith? Whoever this is, she must really care about Faith to come looking for her like this. Of course she cares, she's a mother._

"Why?"

"Faith, come on..."

"Stay out of this Buffy..."

Faith leans into her forearm a bit more.

"Why? Why come looking for me?"

 _Isn't it obvious?_

"Because you're my daughter and I was worried about you. I love you firecracker."

 _Firecracker?_

"That must be a new experience for you."

 _What's Faith talking about?_

"What do you mean?"

"Caring about me, that's a new thing for you."

 _What?_

"Faith, I always cared about you. You're my daughter."

She steps back from her mother and takes her arm away from her neck.

 _Well, that's some progress I guess._

Faith scoffs and rolls her eyes at the woman in front of her.

"Bull..."

 _Or not..._

"I do love you Faith. I tried to take care of you as much as I could. I know I didn't do everything I should've, and I'm sorry for all the things I didn't do, but I'd like to try and make up for it, if I can."

 _Whatever happened, she obviously feels really horrible about it. Maybe if I help, they could build something._

"And what about dying? Are you gonna make up for that too?"

 _Dying?_

I look between them.

"Faith, what are you talking about?"

She looks at me.

"My mother's dead B. This THING, whatever it is, can't be my mom."

I stare at Faith's mom for a second.

 _She doesn't give off the vampire vibe, she feels human. So what is she if she's supposed to be dead?_

"Are you sure?"

"I found her dead on the kitchen floor when I was 14. Dad and I buried her a week later. He disappeared on the one year anniversary. I'm pretty damn sure."

She looks at her mother for a second before speaking again.

"What did you do to him?"

 _Why is she assuming her mother did something?_

"I'm sorry firecracker, I didn't know. I don't know what happened to him. I started looking for you by looking for him. I was hoping I'd find the two of you together. But the detective couldn't find any record of him after 1996. So I came looking for you."

Faith's mother glances at me at my question but then brings her focus back to her daughter.

"And what about the fact that she buried you?"

There are a few moments of silence.

"I... I don't know. I can't remember what happened. I remember... getting drunk one day and passing out, and then the next thing I remember is waking up in a town outside Boston with no memory. I only got it back about a month before I hired the private detective to find you. I was so worried about what might've happened to you all those years. I needed to find you to make sure you were okay."

 _God, I can't imagine spending that many years not knowing who you are. It must have been horrible for her. And then when she got it back, knowing her daughter was out there alone for so many years._

"So what the hell are you then?"

The older woman gets this hurt look on her face.

"I'm your mother firecracker, you know that."

Faith all of the sudden lunges at her mother, forcing her up against the side of the crypt, pressing her stake to her mother's chest.

"But what are you REALLY?"

 _Oh for god's sake..._

"Vampire? Demon? Some kind of zombie?"

I get in Faith's face.

"She's just a woman Faith. Can't you see that?"

 _There's gotta be a way to prove it for sure._

I turn to the older woman and look at her fear-stricken face.

 _Wait, that's it._

Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the bottle of holy water I keep with me. I pop the top off and splash it on the woman's face. Faith and I stand waiting for something to happen, but nothing does.

"There Faith... nothing happened. If she were some kind of demon or something, the holy water would've hurt her. It's not. She's not evil. You can let her go now."

Faith slowly pulls back from her mother, the angry look still there. Her mother keeps breathing heavily in fear. She waits a few moments to see if Faith will do anything else before wiping the holy water off her face.

"Faith, whatever's going on I hope that it will help you trust me enough for us to talk. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I'm not going anywhere until we can talk. I'd like us to try and..."

"Go back to where you came from Mom."

Faith turns around and starts walking away.

"The next time I see you, you won't live long enough to say hello."

She keeps on walking. I start to go after her.

"Faith..."

"I'll see you tomorrow or something B..."

I come to a stop after a few steps.

 _I should probably give her a little space to deal. I'll go by her motel tomorrow and talk with her. I don't really know what I'll say, but I'll think of something._

The woman Faith called mother not too long ago comes up beside me. I look over at her and she has this somber look on her face.

"I'm sorry..."

She looks at me and smiles thankfully.

"It's all right. She has every right to feel the way she does. I abandoned her for 8 years, even if I didn't know I was doing it. I wasn't the greatest of mothers when I was there either. I was hoping things might have gone better, but I guess I can't do anything about that now."

She puts out her hand and there's a small piece of paper on it.

"My hotel address and cell phone number are on the back."

I take the piece of paper and look at the writing on it.

 _This is all the way on the opposite side of town from Faith's motel._

"Please let her know that I'm available to talk if she wants to."

 _She really wants to try and make up for everything. She's not some evil monster trying to hurt us. She's just a mother._

"I will Ms. Lehane..."

"Call me Fray... I understand that it will take time, but I hope that eventually she will want to work things out. I really do love my daughter."

"I can tell. I'll do what I can."

"Thank you, um..."

I hold out my hand to shake hers.

"Buffy, my name is Buffy."

She shakes my hand.

"All right then Buffy. Thank you very much."

"No problem."

She starts to walk backwards and our hands part.

"I hope we talk again."

"I hope so too."

I turn and head off towards home.

 _I'd go see Faith and make sure she's all right, but I think she's too angry right now to talk about what's bothering her. I'll see her tomorrow._

 **End of Chapter 25**


	26. Trauma

**Mothers Chapter 26**

Trauma

 **Buffy's POV**

 _I have to do something._

I take a deep breath as I make my way to Faith's motel.

 _There has to be a way that I can get Faith to talk to her mother so they can patch things up. I have so many things I wanted to do with my mom. We didn't spend that much time together over the last few years. I was so busy with school, and then everything with Faith and Omega and then dying and coming back and... Dawn._

My feet and I come to a dead stop in the middle of the sidewalk as I close my eyes to remember Dawn's face.

 _Sweet little Dawnie... we never had the time to be anything more than sisters. We never had a chance to be mother and daughter like we should have been, like Mom and I should've been. I spent so much time yelling at her as a kid, causing her all kinds of stress and pain on top of that. Making her wonder where I was all the time when I was out slaying and couldn't tell her._

I open my eyes and wipe at the tears formed in the corners as I make my way to Faith's again.

 _Then I went and made her worries worse by telling her I was a slayer. I had so much I wanted to do with her. So much I wanted to share with her. There are all sorts of things that I'll never be able to do with her because she's gone. I can't let that happen to Faith. She still has the chance to do with her mom what I'll never be able to do. Faith can still say what I can never say. I won't let Faith lose that shot. There HAS to be something I can do to make it happen._

I stop in front of Faith's motel door and take a deep breath. Knocking softly, I wait a few moments for an answer. The door opens and I see Faith standing on the other side.

"Hey B..."

I smile weakly at her and she returns it.

"Hey, can I come in?"

She moves out of the way.

"Come in..."

I go inside and she closes the door behind me. We face each other and a moment of silence falls on us.

"So... how are you?"

 _Me?_

"I'm okay I guess... today feels like a good day so far. What about you?"

"I've been better. Can I get you something to drink or something?"

I hold up my hand for a second and smile.

"No, but thank you..."

"All right..."

A deafening silence follows her last statement for a few moments.

 _Okay then, I'll start._

"So... your mother's in town eh?"

Faith turns away and starts slowly pacing.

"Not if she knows what's good for her."

 _What?_

"You shouldn't talk like that about your mother Faith. I mean, she did raise you didn't she?"

She stops and faces me.

"More or less..."

"What does that mean?"

"It's a long story B."

I lessen the gap between us.

"I don't have anywhere else to be."

She takes a long breath.

"You've listened to me for the past couple weeks. I'd like to return the favor. Maybe I can help."

After a few moments, she smiles weakly at me.

"It's not the greatest idea."

"Why not?"

"Because, when I think or talk about the people who raised me I tend to get really angry. And you and I have yelled at each other enough for a few lifetimes."

I move into her personal space and take her hand.

"Faith, even if we did yell at each other, it wouldn't be about us. Whatever it is, you can talk to me about it."

We stare at each other for a moment.

"I wouldn't know where to start exactly."

"Well, you could always start with the more and move on to the less. Come on, let's sit down."

I move over to the desk and grab the chair, bringing it next to the bed. I sit down in the chair and she sits on the end of the bed.

"So... what was she like? Before she, well, died."

"That depends on when you ask me."

 _When I ask her?_

"I'm sorry?"

"My parents were okay people some times, but not all the time."

 _I should probably just let her talk._

"During the day, we were a pretty normal family. We'd all have breakfast together, then Dad would go to work and I'd go to school. My mom would stay home and take care of the house. We were your typical nuclear family that way. But things always changed come nightfall. It was like they became completely different people. There'd be booze and drugs all over the place, people were coming and going almost non-stop. I didn't really understand what was going on until I got older, but I knew I didn't like it before I was 10 years old."

Her eyes drop at whatever memory was brought up by her last sentence. She looks more sad and angry than anything else. I take her hand in both of mine again and squeeze it a bit.

"Do you mind if I... can I ask what happened?"

Our eyes meet and she looks like she's wondering whether to tell me or not.

"You don't have to if you don't want to. I'm just trying to help."

She tries to smile at me.

"I know B, and I appreciate it."

I smile back.

 _Okay, I gotta take the chance._

"Maybe you could talk to your mother about it."

Faith pulls her hand away from mine.

"That isn't gonna happen B."

Sitting back in the chair, I sigh heavily.

"Why not? She said she wants to talk to you. She said so. Maybe if you talked about what was bothering you with her, things would get better. You might feel better if you cleared the air."

Faith stands up and moves away from the bed.

"I'm not gonna talk to my mom B, even if that was really her. I'm still not convinced it was."

"When I had a problem, talking with my mom always helped."

She faces me with an angry look.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but my mother and I don't have the greatest relationship like you did with yours B. We never got along like you guys. And I don't want us to."

I get up from my chair.

"She's still your mother Faith. She still loves you, and you still love her whether you'll admit it or not. So you have to at least try."

"No..."

"Why not?"

"Buffy, I was a better mother to Dawn then my mother was ever to me. And I KILLED Dawn."

 _What? God how could she say?_

I sit down in the chair as my knees go weak and I feel the need to cry my eyes out.

"How could you say that?"

I feel the tears coming, as Faith kneels down in front of me.

"I'm sorry Buffy... I shouldn't have said it like that. I'm sorry."

She pulls me into a hug and I put my chin on her shoulder.

"I loved Dawn, you know that. I didn't mean to say that. I was just angry, Dawn meant so much to both of us."

I pull back from the hug as I sniffle and wipe the tears from my eyes. I look at Faith for a few short moments and I know that she really means it. Reaching out, I put my hand on her shoulder.

"I know you did... just like your mother loves you Faith."

She closes her eyes and her head drops to the side.

"I'm not asking you to forget what your mother did to you. Obviously it's a really bad memory, whatever it is. All I'm asking is that you give her a chance to explain."

Looking up at me again, she puts her hand on mine against her shoulder.

"I don't know that I can. It's not so much what she did, even though she did some bad things... both to me and in general, it's what she didn't do that hurt the most."

She gets up and sits back on the bed, taking a deep breath.

"You remember how I said that I didn't like what was happening before I was 10?"

I just nod my head.

"Well there's a reason for that. A couple weeks before my 10th birthday, my dad went away on a business trip somewhere. I don't remember where. And the second he left, my mother started inviting men over on an almost hourly basis. It went on like that for the whole time my dad was gone. I met more than a few of them. Any time I had to leave my room, one of them was there."

I lean forward and rest my hand on her knee. I don't say anything.

 _There isn't anything I could say that would help right now._

"They used to tell me I was so cute. A lot of them talked about how much they liked me even though we'd never met. Some of them would joke around with me and try and play games with me, some times it was fun but most of them were just annoying. None of them would leave me alone, and my mother never seemed to be around when they would bother me. Then one night, after they were done with her and she had passed out, one of them snuck into my room and... and then the jokes weren't funny anymore."

She stops talking and I'm not sure how to respond to that.

 _God, that's horrible. I can't imagine her having to go through something like that. I know that this kind of thing happens in the world, and that any person who could do it is 100 times worse than any demon I've ever been up against. But what do I do? It happened so long ago, I'm not sure what I can do to help._

I get out of the chair and sit next to her, putting my arm around her shoulder.

"I'm sorry..."

She leans into me and takes a deep breath.

"It's okay. It's not your fault. You're not the one who invited him into the house. It was a long time ago. You never completely get over something like that, but after all the things I've seen and done as a slayer, it's become just like them. My dad came back a couple days later, just before my birthday."

"Did they ever catch the person that did it to you?"

She shakes her head.

"No, I told my mother about it and at first she didn't want to believe me. I had to show her the bruises before she did anything. We called the police and they tried to investigate, but it was too dark and I was too traumatized to remember what he looked like. My mother said she never even asked his name. That's all she had to do and chances are he would've been caught. But she didn't, so there was no way to track him down."

Faith sits up and faces me slightly.

"So... you understand why I'd rather not talk to my mom."

I take her hands in mine.

"I do, and I'm not going to press the issue. I know that the words 'horrible experience' don't even come close to describing what it was like. I can't imagine what you must've gone through. But I'd like you to think about one thing."

I wait a moment for her to respond.

"Okay..."

"You and I have been through a lot in the time we've known each other, and we've made it through. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that we've been to hell and back. But we've managed to survive it all in one way or another and made our peace. Isn't it at least possible that you and your mother can find a way to work through things? Some way that you can find some common ground? Maybe move beyond the past and make peace? The way you and I have."

She looks down at the bed and a long stretch of silence hits us.

"I don't know..."

I reach out and touch her cheek, making her look up at me.

"Just think about it. Maybe there isn't, but maybe there is. It's your decision to make, and no matter what you decide, I'll be here to help you with it."

She smiles at me and I can't help but smile back. Faith leans forward and we hug.

"Thanks B."

"Of course, it's the least I can do."

We keep hugging for a few minutes before pulling back.

 _We should probably do something a little less painful after all this. I know..._

"Hey, you know we never did do the whole movie and pizza thing we were planning last night. What'd you say?"

"Sure B, but we should go by and see Giles. Those vamps were acting really strange last night. They were too organized."

 _She's right._

"Yeah, you're right. Let's meet at the hospital though. I'm sure Xander and Anya will want to know what's going on with the remnants of Omega's cult, after what they did to her. Anya's still staying at the hospital for her therapy."

"Good idea, I'll give Giles a call and then we'll head over to the hospital to see if Xander's there with Anya. If not, we'll call him. After we give them an update, we'll go out and get some pizza."

 _Great..._

"Sounds like a plan."

Faith moves down the bed towards her phone, picks it up and starts dialing.

 _I know I can get Faith and her mother talking again, I just have to try._

 **End of Chapter 26**


	27. Suspicions

**Mothers Chapter 27**

Suspicions

 **Faith's POV**

 _I'm not sure what to do._

I sit back in my chair in Anya's hospital room with Xander and Buffy, waiting for Giles to get here.

 _Buffy does have a point. She's my mother after all. I came back to Sunnydale to visit Joyce, a woman I've thought of as a mother for a long time. And now my real mother is actually here... or at least something that looks like her, and she wants to talk. Maybe I should give her a chance to talk. I just don't know if I can look at her without wanting to hurt her. She's the reason he was there that night. She's the reason he did what he did to me. She's the reason he was never caught._

 _I can't just pretend that none of it happened. I can't pretend that I don't blame her for letting it happen, for the way she treated me afterwards. Things were better for a while. People stopped coming over every night, and the drugs and alcohol all but disappeared from the house. We were an almost normal family again. But that only lasted as long as child services were watching us. Once that woman stopped coming around, it all started again, except it was worse than before. I tried to get her to stop what she was doing, and my dad, but every time I did, they'd hit me. It kept going like that, right up until she 'died'._

 _I should get Giles to figure out exactly what she is somehow, if she really is my mom though... I don't know. I might give her a chance to talk. Maybe..._

I look over at B.

 _Maybe if Buffy was there to keep me from beating my mom to a bloody pulp._

"So, Anya... how's the rehab going?"

I look to Anya at Buffy's question.

"The doctors are trying to extort money out of me so they can make me bankrupt."

I can't help but smile at her accusation.

"Anya, honey, we talked about this. The doctors are just trying to make sure you heal properly so your muscles can work right."

Anya scoffs at her boyfriend.

"Xander, they keep telling me to go slower and not get better. Just so they can get more money out of me. I can't make any more money until I'm better, and I can't get better, until they get all my money out of me. They're trying to bankrupt me."

I'm just surprised at how completely paranoid she's being.

"Sweetie, you know that's not true. They just want to stop you from hurting yourself. You were going to hurt yourself with the way you were going."

"He's right Anya. When I was recovering from being tortured by Glory, the doctors kept telling me to slow down because I was pushing myself so hard. Looking back on it, they were right. I pushed too hard and I'm just glad I didn't get myself seriously hurt."

"Yes, but you have all that annoying slayer healing. You would've recovered."

 _Okay, time to weigh in._

"All the more reason to take it slow, you're an ex-vengeance demon, not a slayer. If you go too fast you'll get hurt and won't be able to do all the fun things you and Xander do that I really don't want to hear about."

Anya looks thoughtful for a few moments.

"You're right Faith. I do want to have lots and lots of sex when I get out of here. I should slow down."

Xander looks at me and smiles sarcastically. Just then, a short knock on the door has Giles coming in.

"Hey G-man..."

"Hi Giles..."

He looks over the room with a smile.

"Hello all... Anya, how are you?"

"Wishing I could have sex, you?"

Giles is thrown by Anya's statement. Xander, B, and I just look at each other and try not to laugh.

"Not quite I'm afraid. My mind is focused on other things for the moment."

He turns to me and B.

"Particularly the events of last night, I'm told there was an event of some interest?"

 _More than one..._

B speaks up.

"Yeah, it was weird. We were attacked by a whole gang of vamps. There had to be at least, what, 15? 20?"

She looks to me for back up.

"Somewhere around there, yeah... but they didn't all attack at once. They attacked in groups. I think it was like 6 at a time."

Giles pulls a chair up and sits down.

"Interesting... why would they choose to do that? Tactically it would have been more prudent for them to attack all at once. Unless..."

He pauses for a moment.

"There are only two reasons I can think of that would make them taking such actions. The first is that without a definitive leader, the remaining hierarchies of Omega's cult are attempting to find a leader through your demise."

 _Well I don't think that will happen._

"Why?"

Anya follows up Xander's thought.

"Yeah, wouldn't it have made more sense to do that right after he was killed?"

"I suspect that they must have tried, but given the fact that Faith went on a one person crusade to rid the town of their kind and the demon population in general, I would imagine they needed time to regroup and increase their ranks as well. It's only now that they feel prepared. All they require now is a leader."

 _Hmm..._

"You said there might be another reason?"

"Quite right, the only other reason I can think of at this time is that they have in fact chosen a leader and that the situation you found yourselves in last night was intended as a test of your abilities."

B gets thoughtful for a second before responding.

"You think there might have been someone watching us last night to see what happened?"

 _Wait... that could mean..._

"It's more than likely."

"My mom..."

Everyone looks at me.

"Faith, what about her?"

"She was there B, she saw everything."

Buffy gets this questioning look.

"Your mom was just concerned about you."

"I told you there's probably something bad going on with her B."

"Faith..."

Giles interrupts.

"I'm sorry... but I would appreciate it if we could clear something up. Faith, you say your mother has made a sudden appearance in Sunnydale?"

"Yup..."

"Hmm, I must say I find that quite perplexing. I was given to understand that your mother had passed on."

"I thought so too until she showed up mysteriously after we fought off those vamps. But she's here... or at least something that looks like her."

Giles gets his deep thinking face on.

"Hmm, this could be significant. I take it this wasn't an apparition or manifestation of some kind?"

I shake my head.

"Nope, I had my hand around her neck at one point."

"It could be some sort of demon possession, or an advanced form of glamour perhaps."

B pipes in.

"Or maybe she's just back from the dead."

We all look at Buffy.

"I came back from the dead, why not her?"

"Yeah but Buffy, we had the last Urn of Cirrhosis..."

Giles corrects him.

"Osiris..."

"Right, we had that and a powerful witch for us."

"And how do we know that there wasn't that stuff there when it happened to her? Besides, we don't even know that either of those things was needed. Xander, what about that Jack guy?"

Xander looks at B, confused for a second.

"Jack guy?"

"Yeah, back in high school you told me about that guy who raised his buddies from the dead with some ritual thing."

"Right, Jack O'Toole, damn scary dead people."

 _She's really trying hard to assume my mother's not evil._

"Exactly, I'm just saying, we don't know enough to assume she's part of some evil plot."

Xander, Giles, Anya and I look at each other for a second.

"Buffy may in fact be correct. I will have to examine all of the options. I shall contact the Council and find out what they know about your parentage Faith, and perhaps even consult the Book of Karameth for clues. Until then, I suggest we exercise caution."

 _That was gonna be my plan._

"I'm for that."

"Yeah, good plan."

"Yes, much better than rushing in and getting killed."

We all kinda smile at Anya's comment. Giles breaks the silence after a moment.

"Very well then, I should return to my flat to investigate what might be happening."

I watch as Giles gets up.

"You'll let us know if you find anything?"

He nods before leaving.

"Of course..."

 _At least I'll know something for sure soon. Or at least I hope so._

 **End of Chapter 27**


	28. Memory Lane

**Mothers Chapter 28**

Memory Lane

 **Buffy's POV**

 _I hate this._

I look left at the movies on the other rack down the romantic comedy aisle.

 _These movies are so horrible. They're all about great love conquering all and happily ever after. It's so unrealistic. I hate it. But I want to get something happy and fun after all that's happened lately. I think I've had enough drama to last me till the day I die... again. I can't believe the way Faith just condemned her mother like that. Suggesting she might be evil. We don't know enough about what's going on to think that way._

 _For all we know, she was saved by the powers on high to help us somehow. I know that Faith's mother wasn't the best person. I know she should've been a better mom and not invited strange men into her house with Faith around. But I don't think she's evil._

We reach the end of the first aisle and turn down the next.

 _She doesn't seem evil. She doesn't look evil. She doesn't feel evil either, and I can usually feel evil when it's around. What's that old saying? If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck? Well she doesn't look or sound like a duck, so I don't think she is. She's a good person, I'm sure of it. She just made some bad choices. I can understand that. I've made some bad decisions in my life, so has Faith. I would think that Faith would understand that. But I guess that what happened cut pretty deep, and why shouldn't it? I'm not sure if I could deal with it if it happened to me. I think she's a really strong person for having dealt with it as long as she has._

 _But she can't spend the rest of her life hating her mother, anymore then I could spend the rest of my life hating Faith for what she's done. Maybe now that her mother's in town, she can deal with it. All I have to do is find a way to get them talking._

I look at the movies on the right. I pick up some movie called Serendipity. I read the back of it.

' _In the course of one magical evening, Jonathan and Sara meet unexpectedly...'_

 _Okay, I'm already pretty sure I'll hate this movie._

I put the movie back, turn to Faith and stop.

"These movies all suck."

She chuckles at me.

"You don't have to tell me that B. But you were all about the happy fun movies all the way over here, and there's no way I'm watching one of those stupid slapstick comedies. What else is there to watch?"

I turn towards the rack of movies and pout at the crappy selection.

"I know. I just wish this town had a better video store."

"Funny thing to say in Sunnydale's best video store..."

I start walking down the video aisle again.

"I'm not so sure it is. The selection is 75 percent romance movies. What kind of selection is that?"

"A happy one..."

I look back at Faith and roll my eyes.

"I hate romantic movies."

"You and me both B... you and me both..."

"Well that certainly has changed."

 _That voice sounds familiar._

I turn around to see Faith has turned around to look at her mother, standing behind her.

"Hello again..."

Her mother smiles and waves at both of us, I smile back.

 _What's she doing here?_

Faith glares at her mom and folds her arms across her chest.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

 _That was a little harsher than it needed to be._

"I was looking to rent a movie and I didn't really like the ones on the hotel TV. One of the bellhops said this was the best place in town, and gave me the hotel's membership to this place. So here I am."

 _I knew there was a simple explanation. She just wanted to see a movie._

"I saw you were here too and thought I'd say hello."

Faith leans on her back leg slightly, into a more defensive posture.

"Hello, now you can leave."

Her mom gets this slightly hurt look on her face and I can't help but feel bad for her.

 _I should do something._

I move up beside Faith and put my arm around her shoulders.

"Come on Faith, your mom was just trying to be nice. What did you mean that things had changed?"

"Well, I can remember a time when Faith was actually a big fan of romantic movies, weren't you firecracker?"

Nothing but silence greets that question.

 _Fine, I'll just try a little harder._

"Faith? I find that hard to believe."

Her mom smiles at me.

"If I remember correctly... Lady and the Tramp was your all-time favorite."

 _Lady and the Tramp?_

"Really? Is that true Faith?"

Faith looks at me with a rolling eyed glare.

"I was young. Since then I've managed to grow up."

 _Hmm, you know that might be an idea._

"She used to watch that movie so many times when we'd rent it that I finally went and bought it for her birthday."

Faith pushes my arm off her shoulders and steps back.

"Yeah, my 10th birthday..."

Mrs. Lehane looks down in shame for a second.

"B, if you wanna stand here and stroll down memory lane then you go ahead. I'm gonna go and look for a happy movie in the horror section."

She heads off to the horror section.

"I'll let you know if I find any."

I watch as she leaves for a second and then turn to her mother.

"I'm sorry about that. She's still angry."

Faith's mom smiles sweetly at me.

"It's all right. I'm sure that remembering those times isn't a fun experience for my little firecracker. There are a lot of bad moments from those days, no doubt they're more prominent then the happy ones I try to focus on."

I sigh.

"Yeah... she told me about some of those bad moments."

She gets this sad look on her face.

"They're all true. I'm not proud of a lot of the things I did in the past. There's so much I should've done. So much I shouldn't have done too. But that's why I'm here, to at least try and make up for some of it. All of it if I can."

There are a few moments of silence.

"I understand. I've done some things in my past that I'm not proud of."

She puts her hand gently on my shoulder.

"You must be really close friends for her to confide in you that much."

 _Close enough that we had a daughter together once._

"Yeah, you could say that. We've helped each other through some tough times. She means a lot to me."

Mrs. Lehane smiles as she takes her hand off my shoulder.

"I can see that. I'm glad that she has someone like you looking out for her in her life."

I can't help but feel really good at hearing her say that. After a few moments, her sad look returns.

"What's wrong?"

She sighs heavily.

"Well, knowing she has someone as great as you looking out for her just makes me wonder about all the things I've missed in my daughter's life. I may have been there for her first steps and her first words. I was there to see her off for her first day of school. Her teachers used to tell me she was a good student you know... before I stopped listening to them that is. But there's this whole part of her life that I've missed. I just can't help but wonder... who was her first kiss? Who was her first boyfriend? Has she even had one? Did he love her and treat her properly? Did she love him? Has she ever even felt love?"

"Yes..."

Mrs. Lehane looks at me with a wondering look.

"I'm sorry?"

 _Geez, why did I have to say that?_

"It's nothing..."

"No, what were you going to say?"

"Nothing I just... Faith umm... I knew Faith's first um, boyfriend. He was a very good person. He loved her very much and she loved him just as much. They were good to each other."

 _Except that he was a she and she was me. I can't tell her that though. I have no idea how she'd react. It's not really my place to out Faith anyway to her mother._

"Oh..."

"I shouldn't have said anything. It's not my place."

"No, I appreciate it. Can I ask what happened?"

I look at her for a second and she's trying to hold back the expectant look in her eyes.

"You know, it was... just life stuff got in the way. It was a long time ago, I'm sure she'd hate that I'm talking about it with you."

"Ah... I understand. Well, I'm sorry for her. I guess things don't always work out the way we want."

I take a deep breath.

"No... they don't."

Mrs. Lehane looks over in the direction of her daughter for a second.

"Thank you..."

 _Thank you?_

"For what?"

"For giving me a glimpse into the part of my daughter's life that I missed..."

I smile at Faith's mom.

"No problem... I just hope that she'll do it herself at some point."

"I hope so too. Will you let her know again that I'm free to talk any time she is?"

"I will..."

Something catches her eye.

"Oh, there's what I was looking for."

She picks up a movie.

"I should go before Faith comes back."

"Okay..."

She puts out her free hand in friendship.

"It was good to speak to you again umm, Buffy?"

I take her hand and shake it.

 _She has really soft hands. They remind me of Faith's. Then again, I guess it's the other way around._

"Yes it's Buffy, and it was nice to see you too. I hope to run into you again Mrs. Lehane."

"I told you before, feel free to call me Fray."

"Right, sorry..."

Fray just smiles as she heads towards the counter.

"I'll see you soon."

I wave in response. After a second I look around the store.

 _Faith's still over in the horror section, but I catch her eyeing her mom as she reaches the counter. Okay, that'll give me a chance to get the movie I want._

I walk over to the right section, which is actually on the other side of the store from where Faith is.

 _I know it's here somewhere. It's a classic. I'm sure it's here. Ah, got it._

I pick up a copy and I spy Fray leaving out of the corner of my eye. I smile as she does while she opens the door and goes out into the sunlight. I make my way to the customer service desk as Faith comes at me.

"Hey B, what was going on in the kids' section?"

I wave the movie in front of her face but don't let her take it from me.

"The same thing going on in the rest of the store Faith, I'm renting a movie."

We make it up to the counter and I hand the movie directly to the clerk.

"What movie?"

I smile at the clerk and I think he gets the message. I turn to Faith as the clerk searches through the movies to get the one I'm renting.

"You'll just have to wait and see."

I reach into my purse and pull out my wallet. I take my membership card out and hand it to the clerk just before he asks for it. He scans it into the computer and after a second of staring at the screen he speaks.

"That'll be 4 dollars please."

I take 4 bucks out of my wallet and hand it to him.

"Fine, so what did my mother want?"

She says that with a little bit of venom and I don't really like it but I understand where it's coming from.

"She didn't want anything Faith. She just asked how you were and stuff. There was no evil plotting behind your back or anything."

Faith kinda glares at me a little but it goes away.

"All right..."

"Enjoy your movie. It's due back on Friday before midnight."

I take the movie from the clerk and put it in my purse with my wallet.

"Come on Faith, let's go get some pizza and then we can watch this."

She smiles at me and then we leave the video store.

 **End of Chapter 28**


	29. Old Feelings Die Hard

**Mothers Chapter 29**

Old Feelings Die Hard

 **Author's Note:** So, this story is coming to an end in the near future and I'm going to shift focus to Sins of the Past and The F in Pike to try and finish it. I also have a decision to make about the end of this story. I have something in mind but I'm not sure how open people are to it. I have an epilogue and a challenge for the end. I'm wondering if I should do both or just one.

* * *

 **Faith's POV**

 _I can't believe she did this._

I take a bite of my Hawaiian slice as we watch the movie in Buffy's living room.

 _I can't believe she rented Lady and the Tramp. I haven't seen this movie in years. This movie is so great. I always loved the whole dogs falling in love thing. It's just so easy for them. They don't have to worry about vampires or demons or anything. They don't have to worry about the end of the world. That would be the life._

I take another bite of my pizza.

 _Not to mention, they don't have to worry about their mothers' apparently coming back from the dead. Why did she come back? What is she up to if she really is back? Is she even up to anything at all? I just don't know for sure._

I look over at B sitting next to me, watching the movie with a smile on her face.

 _It's nice to see her smile again. B said that all my mom asked about was how I'm doing. She just wanted to know if I was all right. Where's the evil plan in that? She wants to know about me. She cares about me enough to ask. Maybe there isn't an evil plan. Maybe all she said was true. Maybe all she wants is to get close to me and be family. If that's all she really wants, I might just have to give her a chance._

I go back to watching the movie as the music swells and Pidge and Butch make their way through the town. They stop at Tony's restaurant and that weirdo Italian guy who thinks dogs talk to him comes out. He gives them a table and orders them a plate of spaghetti. Butch and Pidge start eating their meal and those cooks start playing music. I finish off the slice in my hand and reach for another because I'm still hungry. Just as I grab the crust of the last slice of pizza I feel another hand on it. I look over at B and she's smiling at me.

"Did you want that B?"

She pulls her hand away and I'd swear she gets shy.

"Uh, kinda, but I chose the movie. You go ahead."

We look at each other for a second and smile.

"Tell you what, we'll split it."

I pick up the knife she brought out to cut any straggling cheese. I cut the pizza slice in half and hand one piece to B. Again our hands touch as she takes it from me. We smile at each other as we both take a bite of our halves. I set my piece down and after another bite, so does B. We go back to watching the movie. A few minutes pass and the dogs wake up the next morning, talking about responsibility and stuff. B slides a little closer to me on the couch.

"I love this movie."

"Yeah, it's a cool movie, kinda why I liked it so much as a kid."

"They have it so simple. Nothing really major getting in the way."

"Just them and the way they feel. I've always wondered what that's like."

Buffy gets a little closer, leaning against me. I put my arm around her and we sit here watching the movie.

"Must be nice..."

Her hand finds mine. Butch and Pidge walk through the city together on the screen.

 _It's kinda nice._

I suddenly feel hot breath on my neck. I turn my head to look at B, whose face is inches away from mine.

"B?"

She leans forward and our lips touch, we kiss softly. I move my body to face hers and she does the same. I use my arm to pull her closer to me, deepening our kiss. Buffy's hand goes to the back of my head and she half kneels on the couch, making me lean back and turn my head up to her as we start to make out. I lean back more as she pushes me forward with her free hand. Our bodies press together and I can feel every inch of her against me as I lie down. I push my hips into hers and feel her grind back.

 _God it's just like I remember it. I'd forgotten how good this feels. Why is it just like I remember? Why is this happening? How did this happen? What are we doing?_

After a few more moments, she pulls away and looks down at me in shock.

"I'm sorry..."

She gets off me and the couch, turning away as she runs her hands through her hair.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that."

I get up from the couch while she starts pacing back and forth in a panic.

"I'm not even sure why I did that."

"B, it's all right. It's not like we've never done it before."

"I-I know... but uh, you, you were right before. Neither of us is ready to jump into anything and... and if we follow what we were doing there, there'll be definite jumping."

She faces me, a look of confusion on her face.

"Okay, so then we won't jump. You're right... neither of us is ready for any kind of jumping. We should just hold off on the jumping. There's still a lot going on in both our lives right now. And I'm not even sure we should do any jumping even if we were ready to jump. Maybe we can put what happened a minute ago on hold until it's more or less sorted out."

Buffy kinda clams down a bit.

"Yeah, I think that's a good plan. It hasn't been that long since my mom died and I'm still recovering from it all. I can't just go getting involved with someone after everything that's happened. And I really like this whole friendship thing we have. It's really nice, the friend thing... and I don't want to do anything that would ruin it. I'm, I'm not ready for anything to change between us. I'm not even sure that I want anything to change."

I close the gap between us and put my hands on her shoulders, calming her down.

"I know B, neither am I... so we'll just hold off on the jumping until we're both ready, until we know whether we're even right for each other anymore. We'll just be friends. I don't want either of us to start hurting the other again. It really wouldn't be good. So... no jumping."

We look each other in the eyes for a few moments. She leans forward, pulling me into a hug which I return.

"Right... no jumping."

The movie plays in the background as we stand together in silence. Pulling apart after a few moments, we smile and then start moving back towards the couch. Just as I'm about to sit down she has an idea.

"Hey um how about some ice cream... since we're done with the pizza and all?"

"Uh, sure... I can get it if you like."

I straighten up to go to the kitchen and she puts a hand in front of me.

"No, don't worry. I got it."

Buffy makes her way toward the kitchen.

"Do you want me to pause the movie?"

Turning to walk backwards, she faces me.

"That's okay, it's not like I haven't seen it before a couple hundred times. Just sit down. I'll be back in a minute."

She disappears into the kitchen as I sit on the couch. I try and watch the movie, but my mind wanders back to a few minutes ago.

 _Where the heck did that come from? That was such a weird moment. I don't really know why I let it go that far. I didn't let it get that far after Joyce's funeral. Why did it happen this time? I mean, I know I'll always love B on some level. What we shared was really powerful and something like that doesn't just go away, but I thought we were both over these kinds of feelings. I guess not..._

I glance towards the doorway to the kitchen.

 _But we do know that neither of us is ready to explore any of those feelings. Especially with everything that's going on with my mother coming back. I'm still not completely sure what I'm gonna do about that._

I hear bowls clanging in the kitchen, followed by the sounds of someone rummaging through utensils.

 _B would never lie to me about the things my mother said to her in the video store. So maybe my mother really does love me._

She comes in from the kitchen with a bowl of ice cream in each hand.

"You like Rocky Road right?"

 _Rocky Road?_

"Yeah, I like it."

Buffy hands me one of the bowls and sits down on the other side of the couch.

"Thanks..."

She smiles at me but then turns her attention to the movie. We try and focus on the movie but it's hard. I catch B looking my way out of the corner of my eye. I eat a spoonful of my ice cream before she speaks.

"So... are you okay with what happened today?"

I look over at B and she's watching me.

"What happened?"

"Running into your mom at the video store and everything..."

 _Oh..._

"Yeah, I mean it was a little weird running into her apparently out of the blue like that, but I guess it was okay. She really didn't ask about those vamps we dusted in Crestview?"

B scoops up some ice cream and eats it.

"Nope, just about you. She asked how you were doing and I told her you were doing fine. She's really hoping you'll talk to her you know."

I stare down at my ice cream.

"I know."

"She gave me her number and where she's staying if you wanna give her a call."

"Not yet, let's just see what Giles says tomorrow. Then, maybe..."

She smiles at me before looking down at her ice cream.

"Okay, if that's what you want. You know I'll support you in whatever you want to do."

"I know, and I appreciate it B."

 _Depending on what Giles says tomorrow, maybe..._

 **End of Chapter 29**


	30. Looking for Answers

**Mothers Chapter 30**

Looking for Answers

 **Buffy's POV**

 _What the heck happened?_

I lean back in the chair I'm sitting in at the hospital. I look around Anya's room and sigh as we wait for Xander and the doctors to finish so they can bring Anya back from her latest therapy session.

 _I was up most of last night thinking about it and I've been thinking about it most of today but I'm still not totally sure what happened. I don't know why I kissed her. It just felt like the thing to do at the time. It felt right. I'm not really sure why it felt right though. With everything that's happened, I haven't felt that way about her in a long time. Ever since Dawn died, I've felt differently towards her. She hasn't given me that horny feeling since what happened to Dawn. And I didn't feel that way last night either. Yet for some reason I felt the need to kiss her. It was a strange feeling, but not really a bad one. I have no idea why it happened._

I look over at Faith for a second, but look away before she notices.

 _For so long I hated her guts. I felt like ripping her guts out. I really couldn't stand the sight of her. But things have changed now. We've become friends, and it's a really great thing. We aren't more than that. I still don't know why it felt so good to make out with her. No matter how short it was. I don't know what happened. At least we won't be doing any jumping if there is anything between us, which I don't think there is. We can't go jumping into anything._

I take a deep breath.

"You okay?"

I turn to Faith at her question.

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, uh yeah... I'm good."

"I just asked because you looked deep in thought."

"Yeah, I was just thinking about... life."

She smiles at me.

"Wanna talk about it?"

I pause for a few moments.

"No, it's all right. It was just random thought stuff, nothing all that important."

"Okay..."

Just then, the door opens and Giles walks in with three cups of coffee in hand.

"Hey Giles... thanks for getting the coffee."

He hands both of us a cup and keeps one for himself. He looks around the room.

"It's my pleasure. Xander hasn't returned with Anya?"

"They should be here any minute."

The door swings open and Xander wheels Anya into the room.

"Well speak of the devil."

Anya scoffs at Faith's comment.

"Oh please, the devil is so much scarier then I could ever have even hoped to be."

 _Wait..._

"The devil? You know the devil?"

"Duh, anyone who's anyone in the demon community meets him. He makes a point of meeting just about every demon he can, just in case he needs them for his big end of the world. He's all about his big war for humanity, it gets kinda dull after the 200th time you hear it. But don't worry, from what I last heard it'll be at least a thousand years before he can pull it off. You'll be long dead before anything remotely hellish breaks loose."

 _Well that's a comfort._

Faith and I look at each other.

"Okay, that's a good thing I guess."

"He's still one REALLY scary guy, even as a demon I was afraid of him. Now that I'm human, I'd run screaming from the room at the sight of him, assuming I could run at the time. And I've seen some scary things in my life. Sometimes he gets bored and decides to try and tries to kill a whole bunch of people... hence The Crusades, both World Wars, and a couple things I'm not supposed to talk about. Make sure to avoid him at all costs if you can. He really doesn't like good guys... or charades."

"Duly noted, now perhaps we could get down to the business at hand?"

 _Giles never was a fan of Anya's weird tangents, even the educational ones._

"Sure Giles, what did you find?"

"I have discovered some information regarding both topics that were raised at our last meeting. Faith, if you like, we can discuss the topic of your mother in private."

I look at Faith and she's quiet for a moment before responding.

"It's fine. You guys are like family to me. Kinda makes sense that you'd be here to hear all about my mother. What did you find out?"

Giles pauses for a moment before speaking.

"I contacted The Council's Boston office, which is your hometown is it not?"

Faith nods her head.

"I asked them to look into their records from that period of time. Apparently, around the time of your mother's death the police reported a rash of mysterious grave-robbings. Unlike those of a vampire nature, these appeared to be ritualistic. The Council investigated but it proved inconclusive. The ritual used was in fact a combination of several different rituals. They were able to identify a few of the rituals. Some were resurrection rituals, others involved zombification and reanimation. A number of the rituals were completely unknown to The Council's records at the time. They are still undetermined to this day. Even the darkest of magical beings are hesitant to combine the rituals that were identified because the consequences of even one can be disastrous."

 _As Faith and I both found out after I came back._

"Given the oddity of this, The Council was unable to determine who the culprit had been, and the bodies were never recovered so the trail went cold. They did however keep a record of the names on the graves in case the bodies did eventually turn up somewhere. I'm afraid that a Mrs. Fray Helena Lehane was one of the victims."

 _There is a chance then._

"So it's possible that my mother was brought back from the dead."

"Yes, though for what reason I can't be certain."

 _What if it's already done?_

"Well, maybe it was just a bunch of teenagers messing around with magic they shouldn't have. It's happened before."

"Perhaps..."

"Or it could be that she already did whatever she was brought back to do. Now she's just herself."

Faith looks at me for a moment.

"Maybe she is, maybe she isn't."

She turns back to Giles.

"Any ideas on what's going on? What Omega's guys might be up to?"

Giles takes a deep breath.

"Unfortunately on that front I have been unable to find anything conclusive. I did find one reference that may be of note. The Book of Karameth seems to indicate that it may happen in the near future. It speaks of 'she who was at the beginning, shall return for The End', however there is no indication of who 'she' is."

"It could be anyone."

"It might be my mother."

"Or it could be you Faith."

Faith, Giles and I look at Xander.

"Well its possible isn't it? You said that whoever this person is, she 'returns for The End'. You came back to town about a month or so ago Faith. Maybe that's what it means."

"Xander is correct. Given that the previous prophecy seemed to be about Faith and Buffy, I think it's reasonable to assume that they might be involved in this one as well. Though I'm afraid we do not have sufficient information at this point to draw any definitive conclusions."

 _Damn..._

We fall into silence for a little while.

"So why not get some?"

Our eyes fall on Anya.

"Some what honey?"

"Information..."

"How?"

"From Faith's mother, she's either in on it or not. Just ask her and find out."

 _The direct approach... could be dangerous if she is involved, even though I'm not convinced she is, but it might be the best way to get more information on what could be going on... Plus it could get the two of them talking._

"Maybe Anya's right."

Everyone looks at me, though my focus is on Faith.

"Look, Faith..."

I reach out and touch Faith's arm.

"I know you're suspicious of your mom and I understand why. But she's been nothing if not good when we've seen her. It might all be an act, but the only way you'll ever know for sure is if you talk with her. Maybe you should think about getting together with her and talking. It could be our only chance to get more information. I'll go with you if you want."

Faith looks at the floor for a few moments.

"You're right. At the very least we can figure out if she's a suspect."

 _And at the most I can get them talking to each other._

"Do you want to call her or should I?"

She smiles at me.

 **End of Chapter 30**


	31. Building Bridges

**Mothers Chapter 31**

Building Bridges

 **Faith's POV**

 _I have no idea what I'm gonna say._

We make our way to the hotel where my mother is staying.

 _I mean, she basically abandoned me for years. Left me to fend for myself after dad disappeared. How am I going to have a civil conversation with her after doing that to me?_

I look over at B walking next to me for a second.

 _I guess Buffy will stop me if I feel the need to punch her in the jaw. I still have no idea what to talk about though. I know that her dying and maybe being resurrected, if she is who she says she is, wasn't her fault, but knowing that doesn't change the fact that I was alone for more than a few years because of it. It doesn't make it hurt any less. So what exactly do I say to her? How do I talk to her when I know that? I'm just not sure I can. Plus on top of that, B and I have to figure out a way to get her to tell us whether or not she was involved in any bad guy activity since I last saw her. And she may not have even known that it was demonic when she was involved in it. So that makes the whole conversation even harder to have on top of everything else. I don't know that I can do it._

The hotel comes into view about a block away. I stop and stare at it as the sun starts to go down. B stops beside me and I feel a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"You can do this Faith."

I take a deep breath before smiling at her and putting a hand on hers.

"I know it'll be hard but you'll get through it. And I'll be here through it all for you. The same way you've been there for me the past few weeks."

We just stare at each other for a minute. She squeezes my shoulder.

"You can do this."

I smile back and continue to the hotel.

"Let's go..."

We go the rest of the distance and walk through the front doors of my mom's hotel. We head straight for the reception desk.

"Welcome to The Hotel Sunnydale, how can I help you?"

"Uh, hi... we're here to see my mother, Fray Lehane?"

The desk clerk eyes us both as he types stuff into the computer.

"Ah, yes... Mrs. Lehane has indicated that she is expecting guest and I believe she is expecting you in the hotel restaurant. She's reserved a table for three."

B finally speaks.

"Great, where?"

The clerk leans slightly over the table to point the way.

"Just go to the end of this hallway and turn left. You can't miss it."

We both smile at the clerk and make our way to the restaurant.

"This'll be good, right?"

I look to my right at B.

"What will?"

"Meeting in a restaurant and stuff, if things get awkward we can talk about the food or something. And it's not like anything would attack us in a restaurant full of people. Whatever it is probably wants us alone to go after us."

 _She has a point._

"Yeah, I guess."

We find the restaurant and B stops me before we approach the greeter. She doesn't say anything though.

"What?"

She shakes her head.

"Nothing... it's not important."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah..."

She goes up to the greeter and I follow.

"We're here to meet a reservation, Lehane for three?"

He looks over his list.

"Indeed... your companion is waiting for you. Please follow me."

He brings two menus with him as we follow him into a sea of tables. We pass by a few couples and a few families before we reach our table. My mother looks up nervously from her drink and smiles.

 _She's drinking again?_

"The waiter will be along shortly to take your orders."

He leaves us alone at the table. Mom stands up to meet us.

"Buffy, good to see you again..."

They shake hands.

"Likewise..."

Mom looks at me, nervously trying to decide what to do.

"Faith, how are you?"

My eyes drift to the drink on the table.

"I've been better."

She follows my gaze and a sudden look of panic comes over her.

"Oh god, Faith... it's just ginger ale. Believe me, I haven't touched a drop of alcohol since I got my memory back and realized what everyone thought happened to me. Here..."

She picks up the glass and holds it out to me.

"Taste it if you want."

After a few seconds I take it from her and drink a sip of it.

 _She was telling the truth._

"It's just ginger ale, see?"

I see both B and my mom smile at each other. I hand the glass back to my mother and she sits down. B and I decide to do the same.

"I understand why you had to taste it firecracker. I wasn't much of a mother back when we were a family, and you have no reason to trust me, back then or now. I've changed though. After everything that's happened it's kind of hard not to end up different then you were before. I know I'll have to earn your trust back, but I'm hoping that with time we'll be able to build at least something. If you're willing, that is."

She watches me for a reaction of some kind. All I can say is...

"I, I don't know."

My mother looks down at her drink, slightly hurt.

"I'm sorry, but that's just the way I feel."

"No, that's all right. I shouldn't expect miracles."

An uncomfortable silence falls over the table for a while. The waiter finally comes over and breaks it.

"Can I get you ladies a couple of drinks to start you off?"

 _Probably a good idea..._

"I'll have a Coke."

B orders her own drink.

"I think I'll have a root beer, if you have it."

The waiter writes down our orders.

"Of course, I will be right back with your drinks."

He takes the wine list from the table and walks off. Again the three of us are left with uncomfortable silence. Buffy decides to fill it.

"So, what have you been up to since you, left Boston? I was able to pretty much wrestle Faith's entire life story out of her when she first came to Sunnydale. What about you?"

My mother sighs heavily and plays with the straw in her ginger ale.

"Well, I still haven't been able to figure out how I got there, or why everyone thought I was dead, but I woke up one afternoon in a park in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. A man named George found me and took me to the hospital. The police tried to track down who I was but my fingerprints lead to a dead person, so they were stumped. They were suspicious of me for a long time but after a while of not knowing who I was and whether I'd ever get my memory back, I decided to name myself Laura and got a job as a waitress at a truck stop. George got it for me because he knew the manager and we became friends after the hospital. I think he kind of took pity on me at first because of my situation. The doctors said there was a 50/50 chance I'd get my memory back, and after a few years I'd kinda given up hope. But I finally did a year ago after I fell down some stairs while carrying some groceries. When I woke up in the park a few hours later, I remembered everything and came looking for you and Frank."

She pauses for a moment.

"And now I'm here firecracker... with you."

I look down at my sweaty hands.

"Right..."

The silence quickly comes back for a second.

"What about you?"

 _Me?_

"The P.I. told me he could only find out a few vague details about where you've been since Boston."

 _Hmm..._

I look over at B for a second and she looks back.

"What kind of things did he find?"

"Well... oh..."

My mom stops when the waiter appears out of nowhere with a tray of drinks. He puts one down in front of me and another in front of B.

"That's a Coke for you, and a root beer for the beauty."

Buffy smiles at the waiter.

"Thank you..."

I give him my own smile.

"Yes, thank you..."

"Are you ready to order?"

The three of us look at each other. My mom turns to the waiter.

"No, not yet..."

"All right then, I'll be back in a while. If you decide you're ready, feel free to flag me down."

He goes to serve his other customers. I turn back to my mother.

"So what did he find?"

"As I said, he only found a few things. He said he tracked you down to a town called Sunnydale. According to what he found, when you first came to town you were living in a motel across town. Then you went to live somewhere else while working for The Mayor. He couldn't figure out how you ended up working for him, or where you were living during that time though, or how you apparently ended up in a coma for several months, but like I said, things started to get vague once he found out you were here. Apparently the records around a lot of Sunnydale residents are incomplete, especially when it comes to the government... I think he said something about corruption. And then he said ever since you woke up from the coma you've been living here."

I take periodic sips of my drink while we talk.

"Just from that I can tell you've had an interesting life. I'd like to know more about it if you're willing to tell me."

I glance at B for a second and she looks just as nervous as I do by my mom's question.

 _I've never really thought about explaining this to someone who didn't know. I think she figures out it's a touchy subject though._

"We don't have to if you don't want to. I'm just interested in the part of my daughter's life I wasn't around for. If you're not comfortable talking about it with me though, I understand. We can talk about something else."

Her statement is followed by dead silence. After a few minutes, B and I look at each other and I'm pretty sure I know what she's gonna do.

"Well, it really wasn't anything all that exciting."

 _Lie..._

"Faith and I met not long after she came here and became friends. One night, we were having a girl's night out and we happened to hear a noise in an alley we were passing. Apparently The Mayor wanted to walk home alone that night and we happened to walk by while he was getting mugged. Faith stepped in and saved him."

My mother looks at me and smiles.

"You did?"

I kinda shift in my seat and take an extra long sip of my coke.

"Yeah well, I started taking self-defense classes when I came to Sunnydale, which is actually how Buffy and I met, and I felt I had to help. After that, The Mayor decided to hire me as his personal assistant."

"That was very brave of you."

"I guess..."

I point at B.

"Buffy was there too, she did her part."

"Maybe I was, but I wouldn't have if you hadn't insisted we do the right thing Faith."

I look at Buffy.

 _She really doesn't have to talk me up to my mom this much, I'm not out to impress her._

"Yeah but..."

All of the sudden I feel really light headed.

"Damn..."

"Are you all right firecracker?"

I shake my head and I feel better.

"Yeah, I think so."

I feel B's hand on my shoulder.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Anyway..."

The light headed feeling comes back stronger. I try to shake it off but it doesn't work.

"You know, there's patio seating over there. Maybe we should get you some air."

I shake my head but it still doesn't help.

"Good idea..."

I go to stand up but only get about half way to my feet before my hand slips on the edge of the table and I fall flat on my face. B rolls me over and looks at me.

"Faith? Are you okay?"

I'm a little too out of it to answer. Just then, B's eyes roll back in her head a little and she falls on top of me, passing out. Everything starts to go black.

 **End of Chapter 31**


	32. Fighting Till the End

**Mothers Chapter 32**

Fighting Till the End

 **Buffy's POV**

 _Ugh... I don't feel so great. I feel like I got hit in the back of the head with a steel baseball bat wrapped in velvet or something._

All my joints ache as I reach behind me and feel the back of my head.

 _Well, I'm not bleeding so that's good._

I try and shake my head but a massive headache puts a stop to that.

 _Ow!_

I put a hand to my forehead and something cold and metal hits my face.

 _What the?_

I open my eyes despite the pain and there's a shackle around my wrist. It's attached to a metal chain which I follow to the hook on the wall. I try to use my other hand to grab the chain but I'm stopped half way by the shackle around that wrist.

 _I'm chained to the wall._

I step away from the wall but my feet are held back by more shackles.

"What's going on?"

I struggle against my bonds but I'm still groggy from whatever happened.

"Don't bother trying to get free."

I look in front of me and there are at least 5 guys standing in front of me. I think I recognize the middle one when he speaks.

"You should still be pretty out of it from the Mickey I slipped into your drinks."

It's the waiter from the restaurant.

 _The waiter was evil? I guess if he's evil then he isn't really a waiter, but I didn't really see that coming. He seemed nice enough._

"And even if you're not, you don't have enough time to stop it anyway."

 _Stop it?_

"Stop what?"

"The return of our Lord and Master..."

All 5 of them vamp out and part like the sea to reveal Faith's mother standing about 20 feet away, smiling at me like a housewife with a knife in hand and some weird robe on. She waves at me by curling each finger one at a time.

"The all powerful Omega, so he may be with his lover."

 _Faith's mom and Omega are lovers?_

Just then she moves out of the way of a large slab of stone, and Faith is lying there, shackled to the flat top of some sort of altar.

 _I think she's still out._

I pull as hard as I can on my chains.

 _What the hell is going on?_

 **Faith's POV**

 _Damn... what the hell happened? I remember feeling dizzy and needing some air, then B was standing over me, and then nothing. I think I passed out._

"FAITH!?"

 _That's B's voice. Why is she yelling?_

"Faith, wake up!"

I open my eyes and stare up into a massive hole in the stone ceiling. The moon is about 3 quarters of the way covering it.

 _I'm definitely not in a hotel restaurant. How long was I out? What's going on? And why do I feel like I was hit by a ton of bricks?_

I try to get up but I can't. Something is holding my hands and feet down.

"Oh good, you're awake."

 _What the hell?_

My mom is standing a few feet away in some kinda robe with a knife in her hands. I look around and we're in the cave where I killed Omega.

 _I'd remember this place anywhere. The world was saved and ended for me at the same time in this place. It's not something you forget._

"I was worried you might sleep through it all and we couldn't continue catching up. That would've made you a very bad girl Firecracker. Thank god for slayer metabolism."

"What?"

"Yes, I know. There isn't much a mother doesn't know about her daughter."

 _I knew it, this thing can't be her. It's just some evil demon thing that made itself look like my mother._

"You're not my mother. She's dead."

That thing wearing my mother's face comes up and kinda dangles the knife over me.

"Oh no honey, I'm very much alive. It's just that..."

Her eyes meet mine and it's like the air around her shifts.

 _What the?_

I'm suddenly getting some massive vampire energy off her instead of the human one I had a second ago.

"I've never been quite what I seemed."

"What are you?"

She grins at me.

"More than meets the eye my little Firecracker, so much more. See I can remember every moment of you squirming inside my belly, your father's humanity giving you that horrible soul of yours that made me sick. I always remember it every time I have one, yet I can't seem to ever stop it from happening."

She shudders.

"Anyway, I am very much the woman who gave you life. Just like your human father provided the seed that created you, unfortunately, but you have so much more in your blood than humanity. Didn't you ever wonder where your incredible strength came from?"

I glare at her.

"I'm a slayer."

"Yes, and I'm so very proud of you for that. But you're not like other slayers, and I'm the reason. That's why I had Omega's henchmen create that formula and use that spell on you while you were in a coma. I knew that if I brought out that part of you then you'd have enough power to kill your cute little ex over there."

She points to where B is chained to a wall. I struggle to get out of my bonds but I'm still a little weak.

"Course she wasn't your ex at the time, but I had my suspicions about you two being 'Two into one' from the moment you met. What I didn't count on was the terribly annoying Powers That Be stepping in and screwing it all up with the whole amnesia thing. I figured they wouldn't on account of who your parents are, but they did. So instead you became the greatest slayer since, well, me."

 _What? That's a load of crap._

"Now that's bullshit. How the hell could you be a slayer too? And what about the fact that you were buried back in Boston?"

She grins at me with a coldness I've never seen, even back in Boston.

"Well, to answer your second question first... you did bury me back in Boston, that wasn't a hallucination. I just wasn't actually dead at the time, just sleeping. See when I realized there was a chance you would be a slayer, I decided to leave and travel the world for a while. But I couldn't very well just up and disappear, I knew The Council would try and track me down if you ever did become one... annoying little British people. So I decided to use a technique I use every century or two so no one catches on to what I really am. I injected myself with a sleeping potion. And since I knew it would be suspicious of me to rise from the grave, I had my dear sweet Omega's vampires perform a couple spells I learned over the years on random people in Boston cemeteries to make it seem like they weren't there for me. The Council may be a bunch of assholes for what they did to me, but I will admit they've gotten smarter over the years. As for how I'm a slayer... what do you know about The First Slayer?"

 _The First Slayer?_

"I was never much for history MOM!"

"She was the one who sent Omega out of this dimension."

Whatever it is that calls itself my mother turns to B.

"Very good Buffy..."

"But she was killed during the battle and after that the next slayer was called."

"Well, that's the part of the story the Watcher's Council likes to tell, bunch of ungrateful pricks. What they like to leave out is that in order for The First Slayer to do what she did, she had to be up close and personal with Omega and the portal to do it. She was the closest person to Omega at the time he got kicked out of this dimension. And the conveniently 'unconnected' story of The First Vampire is that Omega fed off a human before leaving this happy little dimension. And who was closest to Omega at the time? Me, that's who... so here I am. I've spent the last billion years or so as part human, part vampire..."

The air shifts again and there's a new energy from her... a familiar energy, a slayer's energy.

"... and part slayer..."

She does a twirl like she's in a fashion show.

"Which brings us to where we're here..."

"How's that?"

I struggle against my bonds but I'm still too weak.

"Well, you see, my dear sweet Omega and I have had an on again, off again thing going on since about half a billion years ago or so."

She sighs like she's remembering happy times and then turns to me with that glare.

"That is until you had to go and kill him."

"Yeah well, you can probably see I'm horribly broken up about it."

She rolls her eyes.

"Just like you were broken up about your sweet little Dawnie being pushed off that tower."

I pull at my bonds to attack her but they don't break.

"Don't talk about Dawn that way!"

I look at B as she says that before I can. My mother just laughs at both of us. We struggle to get free but we don't budge.

"You know, I had such high hopes for you my darling daughter. You had the potential to be a truly evil person, especially after you started killing people. But you have too much good inside, too much humanity in you to ever really give in to evil. It's disgusting really, too much of your father in you I suppose. He was always talking about the difference between right and wrong, until I got him drunk anyway. He was always a lot more fun once he was drunk. But you just had to be a good little girl like him and do the right thing."

She scoffs at the thought.

"You HAD to kill Omega. So now I'm going to have to kill you to get him back. It's kind of poetic if you think about it."

My mother looks up at the huge hole in the ceiling and I follow her gaze while trying to get loose. The moon is almost completely covering the hole.

"Looks like it's almost that time..."

She grabs my shirt and starts cutting it off me with her knife. I squirm to try and stop her but there isn't much I can do.

"What are you doing?"

She takes what's left of my shirt off me and then starts cutting into my pants. I hear B struggle and scream in vain.

"Stay away from her!"

Mom just chuckles at Buffy's plea.

"I'm making sure you don't get blood on your clothes honey. I always taught you to be cleanly Firecracker, you know that. The ritual calls for the blood of the one who killed him to be sacrificed on an altar in the place where he was killed. Then the real ritual can begin."

As she pulls off the last of my pants, the ground starts shaking. It isn't long before the whole place is shaking.

"It's time..."

Then I feel it, the blade slices into my skin above my shoulder. I hold back from screaming as she cuts my other shoulder. I can feel the warmth of my blood on my skin as she cuts me just above the elbow on each of my arms.

"I'm sorry Firecracker..."

I feel a little weak as she cuts me in two places below the ribs.

"But Omega is a lot more important to me than you ever will be. And ritually spilling the blood of the one who killed him until they're dead is the only way to begin to bring him back."

I feel a worse kind of light headed as the knife slices into each of my wrists. My eyes get blurry and it's hard to breathe. The world starts to fade around me.

"Screw you Mom..."

Everything goes black.

 **Buffy's POV**

I pull as hard as I can on the chains holding me against the wall as I see that THING cut up Faith's pants.

 _I can't let this happen. I can't let her kill Faith and bring back Omega._

I pull hard on my bonds but again they don't budge. My head is starting to feel better but I don't think I'm up to full strength yet.

 _I have to save Faith though. I don't care if she is The First Slayer and The First Vampire or whatever. I'm gonna kill her for doing all this. She's going to sacrifice her own daughter to bring back the worst demon in the world. The one that killed me... I can't let that happen. There has to be a way to stop it._

I pull on my chains but it doesn't do anything. All of the sudden the place starts shaking. I hear Fray say two words.

"It's time..."

 _No, it can't be._

I pull with everything I am on my chains. I feel the chains give a little.

 _Yes..._

I pull a little harder and they give more. The five vamps in front of me have kinda turned around and stopped paying attention to me. The shaking of this cave gets so bad that pieces of the cave ceiling are falling. I make one last try at my chains with as much power as I can muster and they come off the wall. Immediately I drop into a crouch and pull at my ankle chains. They break a lot easier.

 _My strength must be coming back. I don't know if it's enough to stop that bitch who calls herself Faith's mother, but I have to try. Faith was right about her. I should never have trusted her. Faith was more of a mother to Dawn then Fray will ever be._

I can see Fray cutting into Faith as I come up behind the five vamps, my chains in hand. I raise my hand and swing the chain at the vamps, hitting the one that drugged us in the back of the head. He goes down hard as the other four turn to me. Again I raise my hand above my head, swinging the chain in a circle to keep them at a distance as they surround me. I glance over at the altar and Fray has stopped cutting Faith.

 _I have to get to Faith, fast._

One of the vamps attacks and I swing the chain at him, smacking him in the side of the face. Two of the vamps are crushed as a piece of the ceiling comes down on them. I knock the other one out with a couple fists to the face and a swing of the chain.

 _Now to save Faith..._

I turn to Fray who is standing between me and Faith. I grip the chains in my hands tightly.

"Let her go!"

"You're too late bitch. It won't be long before my daughter joins little Dawnie and her mother in the great beyond. Then the rest of the ritual can begin."

My fists clench so hard that I think I might break my hand.

"I'm gonna kill you a little more than usual."

I rush at her, swinging the chains. She ducks my first few swings but when she blocks the next, it wraps around her wrist. I twist the other chain around my hand like brass knuckles as I pull her towards me and hit her right in the face. She stumbles back but recovers quickly and grabs the chain around both our wrists and pulls me forward. I duck her first punch as I stumble forward but get my balance back enough to tackle her at the midsection to the ground. As soon as we hit the dirt she kicks her feet up into me and I go flying, jerked to the ground by the chain.

 _Ow!_

After a second I do a break dance spin to bring my foot down on Fray's shoulder. The cave where Omega was killed continues to shake as I twist her arm at the wrist with my foot firmly pressed to her shoulder.

"How could you do this, to your own daughter?"

She looks up at me, despite the pain.

"She did it to Dawn. This isn't any different."

I twist her arm more while undoing the chain from her wrist.

"It IS different."

She pulls her feet up and I have to roll away to keep her from kicking me. We face each other again.

"She killed Dawn to save the world. You're killing her to destroy it. Faith loved Dawn like a daughter, what's your excuse?"

She comes at me and I dodge her punch, kicking her in the back of the knee. She goes down on one knee long enough for me to get behind her and wrap the chain around her neck. I pull back on the chain and force my foot into her back for more leverage. She grabs at the chain as she starts to choke.

I separate my arms to hurt her a little more and feel her neck squeeze under the pressure. She bleeds a little where the chain digs into her neck. I add to the pressure by pushing my foot into her back more and her spine starts to crack in her neck. With one final tug I pull my arms as far apart as they'll go, separating her head from her body. I let go of the chains as her body falls limp to the floor, setting itself on fire before dusting.

 _Faith..._

I run over to the altar where Faith is lying as the cave stops shaking.

 _Oh god..._

"Faith?"

I check her neck for a pulse.

 _It's barely there._

"Faith, don't die..."

I break the shackles holding her to the altar.

"God Faith don't you dare die on me."

I cradle her head in my hands and check to see if she's breathing.

"You're all I have left."

 **End of Chapter 32**


	33. All Good Things

**Mothers Chapter 33**

All Good Things...

 **Buffy's POV**

 _Thank god..._

I squeeze Faith's hand as I listen to the steady beeping of Faith's heart rate monitor.

 _Thank god she's gonna be all right. I don't know what I would've done if she had died in that cave. She's all I have left. She's been with me through so much. We've gone through hell and back in the time we've known each other. It would be horrible and unfair for us to lose each other now._

I take a deep breath and watch her sleep peacefully.

 _Things were actually getting pretty good. I was starting to really feel okay with the fact that my mother was gone, and Dawn. I guess I should've figured that something bad would happen. I just never thought it would've been Faith's mother that was the bad._

Faith shifts in her hospital bed and I wait to see if she wakes up. She doesn't.

 _The doctors said it was really touch and go yesterday when I brought her in. There were a few moments where she almost died. They thought she might slip into a coma from all the blood loss. I'm so glad she didn't. If she had gone into a coma again, I probably would've gone insane. I still need her. She's my friend and I care about her. I need her to help me figure out what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life. And now, she needs me too. Finding out that her mother is evil will be really hard on her when she wakes up. She's gonna need someone to help her. She's gonna have a lot of questions. The gang and I will help her find the answers for her._

Again she stirs but doesn't wake up.

 _I'll be there to help her deal with those answers too. No matter what the answers are, she'll have someone with her. Someone to comfort her when she's sad, and have fun with her when she's happy. Just like I know she'll be there for me if I ever need her for something. We care about each other too much not to._

Faith moans as she slowly opens her eyes. She looks around the hospital room before her eyes fall on me. We smile at each other.

"Hey..."

"Hey B..."

There's a silence between us as we stare at each other for a moment.

"How are you feeling?"

She groans and throws her head back against the pillow.

"Like crap..."

I chuckle at what she says.

"Well, you probably should after what you've been through. You lost a lot of blood. The doctors said you almost didn't make it. I was really worried about you."

Faith looks down at her hands and sees the bandages on her wrists.

"So was I. I didn't think I'd make it either, after what she..."

She stops mid sentence and just looks at her wrists. Silence spreads throughout the room except for the beeping of the heart monitor.

"But at least you're alive though right? We survived."

She pulls her head up and smiles my way.

"Yeah, I guess we did. What happened though? How did we survive exactly? The last thing I remember is bleeding to death while you were chained to a wall."

"Yeah, when the cave started to shake I think it weakened the hold on the wall. I got some of my strength back then managed to break free and... save you."

She takes a deep breath.

"Oh, thanks..."

I squeeze her hand gently.

"No problem... it's not like you wouldn't have done the same for me."

She smiles at me and then lays her head back on her pillow.

"That's true."

We fall into silence together for a while.

 _I know she's going to ask._

Faith takes a long deep breath.

"What happened to...?"

She stops short of saying the words.

"Your mother?"

She nods my way.

"I... I stopped her."

Faith looks down at her feet with a sad look for a second.

"I'm sorry..."

Her eyes meet mine.

"For what? You did what you had to for the world, if anyone would understand that Buffy, it's me."

My gaze drops to her hand in mine.

"I guess you would. But I'm still sorry. She was your mother. Or at least, she said she was."

I feel her hand gently squeeze mine and I look at her.

"I know, but even if she was, she was trying to destroy the world, and I can't hate you for saving the world B. I would've done the same thing."

We stare into each other's eyes and I remember what's in my pocket. I use my free hand to take it out.

"Speaking of which, I wanted to give this back to you."

I hold out the necklace chain with Dawn's ring on it.

"I found it in your clothes when I was making pieces to stop the bleeding."

I put it in the hand I'm holding and she grips my hand, pressing it gently to both our palms.

"Thank you..."

I smile at her as I feel the ring between us. She takes a long deep breath.

"So... what happens now?"

 _Now?_

"Well, I could go get a doctor, but I think they want you to get lots of rest and recover."

She laughs.

"Sounds good, but I was talking more about after that."

 _Oh..._

"Right, well, I guess we just... try to get on with our lives. However the hell we do that exactly. Then we just wait for the next disaster to happen and deal with it."

We both chuckle this time.

"Way to stay positive B."

"Hey, at least it's a workable plan."

She smiles.

"True... I like it."

I put my other hand on Faith's and I gently close hers around Dawn's ring.

"I'm gonna go tell the doctors you're awake. Giles, Xander and Anya should be here soon."

I stand up.

"I'll be back."

"Okay..."

I make my way to the door.

"Hey B?"

I turn back and face her.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks..."

"For what?"

She smiles.

"For being here..."

I smile back.

"There's nowhere else I'd want to be."

I turn around and head out the door.

 _Everything really is going to be okay._

 **The End**

 **Author's Note:** So, this is where the story kinda comes to an end for me. Although not really... but I can't say why exactly. I did write what could be considered an epilogue to this story and then there's... well, the part I can't talk about. But... I do also have a challenge that I'd like to pose for my readers as well. I'm debating posting either the challenge or the epilogue to the story as the next, truly final chapter. Which would you prefer?


	34. Author's Note: And Now For a Challenge

**And now for a challenge…**

Okay so, here's the thing. A while back I decided it would be a good idea to come up with a way to challenge my readers, and this is the result. It wasn't that long ago that I finished my fic series "The Forgotten Conscience Trilogy". But I'm sure that the end left many of you wanting more. Unfortunately for me, the story is over for now. There's no more story for me to tell. That doesn't mean there are no more stories though. So, I'm leaving that up to you. I'm challenging anyone who's up to the challenge to write "the rest" of the story for me.

 **1.** Where did Buffy and Faith's life go from there? What challenges do they face after all they've been through? Do they stay friends and have different relationships? Or did they get back together and live happily ever after? Preferably, I'd like to see some of both. I do have some idea of how their lives turned out, but I'd rather see what you guys can come up with. There are only a few requirements that I have.

 **2.** Before a fic is posted, you must have a definitive idea of the beginning, middle, and end of the fic being posted. I see way too many stories out there that don't get finished and I'd like to keep that from happening as much as possible. Please PM me and we can talk about about a general overview of the story idea you have.

 **3.** That the fics be focused on plot and less on getting to the hot and sweaty fuffy sex. Not that such fuffyness is frowned upon, I'd just like to see something that's more about them dealing with problems and really working things out before getting it on.

 **4.** Fics don't necessarily have to start from the end of the fic. If you want to go AU from an earlier point (for instance the end of She Who Was My Love, or Forgotten Conscience, or sometime in between), you're more than welcome to do that.

 **5.** Any fics based on events after chapter 32 of She Who Was My Love, must not include the return of Willow and Tara to the Scooby gang. I have plans for them later on and I'd like to keep them separate from the timeline.

 **6.** Fics are not necessarily limited to the fuffy pairing. You're more than welcome to take things in a new direction with new pairings, as long as it's explained how, why, and when things changed. Especially if it's set after Mothers, it'd be interesting to see how one or both of them would deal with the idea of the other moving on, relationship wise.

 **7.** All fics must be posted on FFnet before they're posted anywhere else, should you choose to do so.

 **8.** I'm currently posting the first part of the series, Forgotten Conscience, on Wattpad and I don't necessarily want to spoil anything on there. But once the full series is up there, I'm happy to see them posted.

 **9.** I can post the epilogue next as well which can add a little more options to the story. It might open up some options for you to write from.


	35. Anniversary

**Anniversary**

 **Author's Notes:** All right, here's the epilogue. I'm thinking I might post it as a stand alone story as well to tease people into checking out the whole story. What do you think?

Also, it's in third person which, obviously, the other parts of the story weren't. I just felt like this was the best way to tell the story.

* * *

The glass cracks as it's forced down against the bar with a little more force then is probably necessary to put a drink down. But the one holding it isn't really in the type of mood to care. They gasp and take a deep breath afterwards before looking up at the bartender.

"Gimme another..."

They hold out the partially broken glass to the bartender and he pours her another straight whiskey. As soon as he's done, she brings the glass to her lips and starts gulping it down as quickly as she can. It isn't long before she finishes it and she puts the drink down on the table a little softer this time.

"Could I get another please?"

The bartender eyes her suspiciously for a second.

"That's four already in a row. You've only been here a couple minutes."

"Just one more, I promise. Then I'll start taking it slower."

He eyes her for another moment before tipping the bottle of whiskey towards her glass. She holds it out for him and pours her a fifth drink. When the glass is full enough, she brings it to her lips again and gulps it down the way she's done the other four.

"Thanks... could I get something a little less alcohol-y?"

"Sure, I'll be right back."

The bartender walks away from the young woman and starts serving a customer or two on his way to get her another drink. In the meantime, she puts her elbows up on the bar and runs her hands through her hair, stopping mid way and just taking deep breaths to feel better about herself. That feeling is eventually interrupted by someone else sitting next to her.

"Let me guess... he broke your heart."

She looks over at the person sitting next to her, never taking her fingers out of her hair and goes back to staring at the top of the bar.

"I've been there. It really sucks doesn't it?"

She doesn't say anything to her sudden new companion.

"Don't worry, you'll get over him. It'll be okay."

She scoffs.

"What do you know?"

"I know it's not the end of the world."

That makes her roll her eyes and sigh with relief as the bartender comes back over and pours her a beer. She lifts the beer and toasts the bartender for his help before he walks away.

"Yeah, I've been to the end of the world. It's nothing like this."

She takes a sip of her beer and enjoys the added warm feeling in her as her blood gets a little more alcoholic.

"This is worse."

"Hey come on, it can't be that bad. It's not like you were soul mates or something."

She takes another sip before responding.

"She might as well have been."

There's a small pause in the conversation.

"She? Really?"

The young woman turns her head slightly and takes another sip of her beer.

"Yeah, and?"

Her companion shrugs.

"Nothing... I just, didn't figure. But hey, it doesn't change anything. I mean just because she's a girl doesn't mean you were destined to be together. It wasn't written in the stars."

She laughs a little.

"No, it was written on paper."

Another little pause.

"Sorry?"

"It wasn't written in the stars. It was written in a prophecy. A hundred years before either of us was born, a bunch of guys got together and saw the future. Me and her, epic romance of dramatic proportions, might as well have been Shakespeare writing the damn thing. Death, destruction, sex, love, pain and angst, we had it all. The total package right there in front of us."

"Sounds like happy times..."

"They were..."

She takes a full drink of her beer and sets it down on the bar in front of her, staring at the glass idly for a moment. Eventually she turns back to her new friend.

"I mean, okay not all the time. We had it pretty rough a lot of the time. Things were... there were a lot of problems for a long time, but... in between them, we... we really had something. Something special, something really beautiful..."

She goes back to staring at the glass and the liquid inside.

"It was... beautiful..."

They're both silent for a moment together.

"You must've really loved her."

She chuckles once.

"I really did. Still do... although most of the time it kinda feels like love just isn't a word powerful enough to express the way we feel about each other. For all the good it does me."

After a moment, she takes a long gulp of the beer in her hand.

"And the funny thing is, when it all first started, I wasn't even interested in women. I had no real interest in her at all. When it was all happening, I hadn't even given her much more than a passing thought in a long time. But then she had to go and escape."

 _'Where the hell am I, and why the hell am I so out of breath?_

 _I'm running, but what am I running from?_

 _I-I can't remember, why can't I remember?_

 _Running seems to be working for me so I'll keep doing it._

 _I wish I knew what I was running from._

 _I hear a noise in the distance, it's a train._

 _Good I can get out of this fucking town. Wait a second I don't even know where it is I'm running from so how do I know I want out? Might as well, it's not like I have any family in this town._

 _Now how the fuck would I know that?_

 _The train slowly gets faster as I run along side it and search for a car to hop on. Hmm, medical syringes? No, I don't think so, eww garbage... too stinky. Hey, pillow factory supplies, sounds promising. I can survive that long until I get to LA. When did I decide on LA? Oh well at least it's away from her.'_

"I didn't even want her around. She's always had a habit of making my life harder and that didn't really change that much with her coming back into it."

"Then what made you guys finally hook up if you weren't friendly with each other?"

She takes a drink from her beer and notices that it's half empty. The bartender walks by and she flags him down.

"Could I get another one of these in a minute?"

He looks at her half empty beer for a moment before responding.

"Sure..."

"Thanks..."

Once she's sure more alcohol is coming, she turns back to her new friend.

"Honestly? It all started with a dream."

 _'I'm standing in front of her. I think I'm squaring off with her. What's going on?_

 _I throw three easy punches and she dodges them with ease. Before I have time to react she ducks down and my legs are kicked out from under me. In seconds I'm flat on my back and she crawls on top of me. She grabs my hands and pins them above my head._

 _I love it when she takes control like this._

 _She leans into me so close I can feel her breath on my face. The warmth of her breath makes me squirm. Suddenly, she notices something and turns her head slightly._

" _Is that where it happened?"_

 _I feel her hot breath shift and glide over my neck. It makes me shiver._

" _Where, what happened?"_

 _What is she talking about?_

" _Is this where I bit you?"_

 _Before I can do anything I feel her tongue against my neck and she licks my neck. I squirm under the feeling of her tongue.'_

Her new friend smiles at her sympathetically.

"I would've thought you were gonna say it all started with a kiss."

She shakes her head, no.

"No that came later."

 _'I snap back to reality just long enough to have her take me off my feet with a leg sweep._

 _Ow! Okay this really is getting a little too real for my reality. She climbs on top of me and part of me is hoping that this will end up like my dream... but the other part of me is panicking from fear._

 _I squirm as she sits her whole weight on my hips, pinning me down._

" _What are you... doing?"_

 _She smiles down at me._

" _Taking what I want, isn't that what I do?"_

 _What does she mean?_

 _She leans in slightly. All I can get out is..._

" _What?"_

 _I start to breath deeper and so does she._

" _When you were talking you said I used to have a saying. Want, take, have... well I want you..."_

 _I try and move her off me but she grabs my arms and pins them above my head._

 _Again I feel like déjà vu has got the better of me as my whole body tingles with heat._

" _And right now it looks like I, HAVE you..."_

 _I try to get my hands free but she's got too hard a grip on them. She leans in and whispers to me._

" _I guess there's only one thing left to do eh?"_

 _I feel her breath on me and I stop thinking._

" _We, we shouldn't..."_

" _Yes... we should..."_

 _She kisses me and it's everything I thought it would be... everything I dreamed it would be. I start to kiss her back and my whole body gets into it. Her lips are warm and inviting and incredibly soft. She lets go of my wrists and I don't push her away. I run my hands through her hair and pull her closer. I feel like a surge of energy goes through me and into her and I know this is right._

 _She breaks the kiss between us and looks down at me.'_

"And it's not like it ended there."

 _'We pretty much crash through her bedroom door, groping and pawing at each other as we do. I kick the door closed._

" _God you're incredible..."_

 _I start to kiss down her neck sucking on it gently. I take her right breast in my hand, massaging it, sending her reeling._

" _Kiss me..."_

 _I work my way back up her neck, along her chin and kiss her lips passionate like. We move toward the bed, me grabbing at her pants, her tugging at my shirt trying to pull it off me. Her pants come undone as we hit the foot of the bed and she falls on top of it. She looks up at me standing over her, the incredible eyes of the woman I love staring into my soul as I pull my shirt over my head and throw it across the room. She looks up at my exposed flesh. Her voice fills with desire as she sits up wrapping her arms around my waist and kisses my stomach.'_

"We were... we were really good together, you know?"

She puts her head back as she brings the beer up to her lips again and drinks down the rest of it quickly.

"I mean, even with all the pain and the pain and misery and everything that we put each other through... we were good together."

 _'"God..."_

" _It's all right baby."_

 _My hand moves under her thong and she gasps with ecstasy._

 _I didn't want it to be this way, I wanted it to be different._

 _My fingers press against her warm, wet lips and she moans.'_

She pauses for a moment and takes a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut as the bartender replaces her empty glass with a full one.

"REALLY good together..."

The beer is quickly picked up again and she takes a drink.

"And then it all had to go to hell."

 _'Oh god I'm gonna lose her._

 _Her breathing gets even shorter and her hands start to slip from my face._

" _I love you..."_

" _Don't leave me... please."_

 _She falls limp on the floor._

" _Baby?"_

 _She doesn't move._

" _Oh god, baby?"_

 _I put my hands on her shoulders and shake her lightly._

" _Baby?"_

 _I shake her harder._

" _Don't leave me baby!"'_

"Or, you know, other places..."

 _'She punches me in the face, knocking me down._

" _BECAUSE I WAS HAPPY!"'_

She quickly gulps down half of her new beer in thirty seconds.

"I'm guessing you were never able to work things out."

"You'd think so, but no matter what happened between us, no matter what kind of crap we put each other through, we always somehow managed to find a way back to each other. When most reasonable people would've given up already, we managed to push through the pain and find our way back to each other. Not that it matters now. That's all over with."

"What makes this time any different? If you've been to hell and back like you said, it seems like there's probably a good chance that you'll make it through this and be together again."

She chuckles once before bringing her hand to her chest and reaching under her shirt to pull out a chain around her neck. On the end of it is a small gold ring with a diamond embedded into it. She pulls it out far enough to hold the ring between her fingers and stare at the diamond in it.

"It's different... she's just got engaged."

"And she didn't like your counter offer?"

She lets the ring drop and it hangs off her chain again.

"I never made one."

Her companion gives her a confused look at the statement.

"Why not? If you're as destined for each other as you claim, shouldn't she drop everything for you in a heartbeat like before?"

"Not this time."

Her companion doesn't say anything right away.

"Why not?"

"Because then I'd be ruining her chance at actually being happy. And more than anything I want her to be happy."

"She can't be happy with you?"

"I used to think so... but after all the attempts we made to be happy together over the years, even after the worst of it..."

'" _I love you Mom..."_

" _I love you too..."_

 _And then I push her off the tower...'_

"We kinda gave up trying."

"And that's when she met her new fiancée?"

She takes a deep breath and a drink of her beer.

"Pretty much..."

"I take it you're not much of a fan of the newlywed to be's other half?"

She looks over at her companion.

"Actually, she's great."

 _'They lean into each other and all I can really do is watch from behind the door as they kiss with a passion that I've only ever seen her kiss me with before. The sudden urge to rip open the door overwhelms me and I rush out onto the porch to confront them. They pull apart as they notice me._

" _Hey, what are you..."_

 _My fist hits the one she was kissing's face and that sends her tumbling down off the porch onto the front lawn.'_

"I can't say that we got off to the best start really. But I got over it. She's actually a good person once you get to know her. Not that we're best friends or anything, but she doesn't have any ulterior motives and she actually loves her a lot."

"I guess they wouldn't be getting married if they didn't care about each other a lot."

"Nope..."

She takes a long deep breath before drinking almost the rest of the beer in her glass.

"God I need another drink."

The young woman attempts to flag down the bartender as quickly as possible.

"Then what's with the ring?"

She looks at her companion for a moment before glancing down at the ring around her neck and then going back to flagging down the bartender.

"This was someone else's."

 _'I slowly open the box. For some reason it feels like the most fragile thing in the world and I might break it if it opens too quickly. Inside is a small gold ring with an embedded diamond in the centre... an engagement ring. I stare at it._

" _She said that our daughter asked her to get it for us back when we were fighting over the fact that I wouldn't tell you the truth about her. She figured that since we were fighting about her, even though she didn't know why, if she could show us that the only thing she wants is for us to be happy, we might stop fighting and work things out. After she found out the truth, she took our daughter to a jewelry store and helped her pick one out."'_

"Who's?"

She lets the ring drop around her neck again and picks up her drink, taking another drink before responding.

"No one's..."

She sets the drink down again.

"They aren't around anymore. It's not important."

"They're important enough to you to wear that ring around your neck for them."

"It's not mine to wear. At least, it wasn't supposed to be. But with her getting married and everything, she doesn't feel COMFORTABLE wearing it anymore... says I should wear it so as to keep the memory alive."

"Memory of who?"

She looks over at her companion for the confused look on her face.

"Our daughter..."

"Daughter? I thought you were both women..."

She goes back to looking at her drink and takes another sip.

"It's complicated."

'" _So there's nothing wrong with me?"_

 _After a few moments of hesitation, she comes over and puts her arms around our daughter and me._

" _Of course not kid. You're just fine the way you are."_

 _We just stand there together in silence, comfortable silence, just the three of us.'_

"The point is, she's gone now and there's nothing either of us can do about it. This is all we have left of her, and she wants me to hold onto it and keep the memory alive. I guess because she figures that she'll be making better memories with the new wife and is trying to get rid of the old ones."

"Geez, that's cold..."

She shrugs and finishes off her drink then signals the bartender again for a new one.

"That's Faith... or at least, it can be, sometimes..."

Buffy watches the bartender come back over and pour her another drink and then picks it up, staring into the glass for a while.

"Sometimes she's loving and attentive and... incredible..."

Buffy takes a drink slowly and a little shaky.

"And sometimes she's the biggest bitch you'll ever meet."

 _'She drops the cup in her hands which spills on the floor and she all but charges me. I take a few back steps before she hits me with a right cross to the face and shoves me up against the nearest wall, her forearm holding me there by the throat._

" _What the hell are you doing here Faith?"_

 _I'm not sure why, but the look of pure hatred on her face makes me smile._

" _It's nice to see you too B."_

 _She grabs me by the shirt and pulls me off the wall just long enough to shove me as hard as she can against the wall again._

" _What the HELL are you DOING here Faith?"_

 _I kinda chuckle at her._

" _Right now? I'm getting attacked by you, but everything isn't always about me you know B."'_

"Like today. We were supposed to get together today. Today was important..."

Buffy takes another drink as her companion sits and listens.

"Every year... no matter where we are, what we're doing or who we're with. Today is the day we get together."

"Why? What's so special about today?"

Buffy squeezes the glass in her hand and it cracks almost to the point of breaking before she takes drink.

"Because today was our daughter's day. We always get together today."

"I thought you said your daughter was gone."

"She is. She's dead. Today was the day our daughter died..."

"And this Faith isn't here for the anniversary? Damn... maybe you could point her out on the street to me while I'm driving so that I can run her down for you."

Buffy laughs a little before taking a long drink of her beer and setting the glass down on the table forcefully.

"Right now? I'd do it myself if I knew where she was."

"You don't even know where she is? She didn't call and let you know?"

"She didn't have to. She showed up at my doorstep like always when we're not staying together. But instead of us being together like we always are around the anniversary, she tells me that she can't because she's getting married and wants to be faithful."

Buffy laughs a little as she takes another drink.

"When has that ever mattered to her before? With all the times we've been together in the last ten years since she died, it never happened before. We've both dated all sorts of people since it happened. But every year at this time we'd get together and remind each other what we really meant to each other."

Buffy takes another long drink and finishes half the beer in her hand.

"Who we were really meant to be with. Sometimes we'd get back together because of it. Sometimes we'd go back to whoever we were with at the time. Most of the time we'd at least break up with whoever we were dating. But ever since she met..."

Buffy's shoulder's slump a little bit and she stares down at the bar as she fights back the urge to cry.

"She's been different. She hasn't been the same since they got together. Something changed between us. And ever since I feel like..."

"What?"

"Sometimes I wish we'd never been together."

"Done..."

Buffy looks over at her companion and her eyes go wide as the random woman's face turns old and veiny like a vengeance demon and there's a flash of light around them, granting the wish.

 **The End**

* * *

And that's the end of that. How do you feel about the ending?


End file.
